NOTHING SERIOUS.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 18, 6 March 1917, Page 6

NOTHING SERIOUS.

Some cricketers, after practising one evening, were telling stories in the dressing-room of their various record performances, and some i wonderful yarns were related.

At last one of their number, a notoriously bad bowler and batter, began :

“Well, chaps, I don't suppose you will believe me, but I once scored a hundred runs, and followed it up by taking nine wickets ; and I would have taken the other one, but ” “But what ?” queried his listeners, doubtingly, as the speaker hesitated. “But my alarm-clock went oil and woke me up,” came the reply, as he dodged out of the room to escape a shower of bats and stumps.

OVERHEARD IN THE TOY SHOP

, “It is extraordinary that I still remained unsold,” said the Monkey-on-a-stick. “I don’t see why everybody doesn’t come and buy me.” “I guess it is because everybody goes by you," grinned the rubber Doll with the whistle in his bat, winking at the Toy Cannon, who* immediately exploded with laughter. “Dear me, dear me !’’ ejaculated the Wax Doll, fanning herself with her price ticket, “This place is frightfully hot." “Yes," said the Tin Soldier. “It’s getting hotter every minute, too. Why don't you smile on the Music Box and get him to give us a little fresh air 7”

“Hello, old chap I” said the Cane to the Walking Doll. “Put on your hat and let’s go for a stroll.”

“Sorry, but I can’t ; I’m all run down,” replied the „ Walking Doll. “Why don’t you ask the Motor?” “I did,” said the Cane. "But he’s tired.” •

“My dear," called Mr. Noah to hia wife, “will you please look out of the Ark window and' see if it in still raining?” > ‘"l’d be glad to, my love," aaid Mrs. Noah,, in a muffled voice, “but really T’,n wedged In ad tight down j here In the cofber that I can’t move, I what with the elephant,- and kangaroo, and both yaks sitting On Bay back.’’--'-Harper’s Weekly," OUTBIDDEN. It was an indescribable horse, and the bidding was not very brisk. In spite of the auctioneer’s eloquent recital of his virtues. Slowly—very slowly— the price roaa to £B, and there stuck ; and it aseto>d as though no power on aarth odd induce the company to offer’ author penny for the dilapidated ,tccd. “No advanre on eight? Going at eight ! For the last time at eight," said the knight of the hammer. Just then a gentleman slowly. strolled up, and, after carefully scrutinising the animal, said; “Stay 1 ” I’ll give oight-and-sir for biro J”

There jnay he nothing new under the sun. b’it the dmjrglst always has .‘?P