THE “BUSKERS.”

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 23, Issue 8, 30 January 1912, Page 2

THE “BUSKERS.”

AN AMUSING LITTLE CHARACTER SKETCH OF A TOURING • TWAIN. They had taken their stand outside a chemist’s shop in a circle of pale-green light. There were two of them. One was a whining Cockney, with a painted nose which the green light caused to appear funereally black instead of humorously red. The other was a short .stout, very dignified man, with a pale, puffy face, that could hardly be described as clean-shaven. The Cockney did most of the talking. "Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “me and Mr. George Alexander the Great—ray friend here on the rightare actors. Mr, Alexander, 1 may say, has appeared before all the crowned heads of Europe who thought proper to turn up. * “But to-night lie lias put his pride in his pocket--.-where it has precious little company, by the way—and has come out here. And me,, too—l’ve

met with no end o’ success in my time, likewise ; only the .worst o’ meeting thing is that they’re always going the other way. “So we’ll proceed at once to play the fool, if some ot you will only first show us the way, by throwing a little encouragement’ into the ’at.” A coin rattled on the stones. ! '“Thank you, ma’am ! Smile for the lady, George ! All, ain’t he got a sad face ? ‘Nough to make anybody though, to have a face like that ! Colne, come, my noble sportsmen ! Tuppence-ha’penny

threepence ! Thank you, sir ! Smile , again, George ! Threepence-halfpenny j —fourpence ! My word ! We only 1 want nine-and-eightpence now' to ; make up the’half-quid !” I “That’s right,” whispered Mr. ! Alexander hoarsely. “Pitch ’em j some more of your patter, Dan. It i don’t happen to be my day for acting the goat.” "‘Must have a rest sometimes in course,” said Dan. Just then a' penny, thrown with l considerable force, struck Mr. Alex--1 ander on the nose. “Smile George !” the crowd yelled rapturously, as he raised his hand, i with a wrathful. exclamation, to the injured member. . “Gentlemen,” expostulated Dan, “I really can’t, see what there is to laugh at !” “In course you can’t. You ain’t looking at it !” someone pointed out. “Don’t waste another word on ’em, Dan !” spluttered Mr. Alexander. “Give the hand- the cue to play ’em out, and ring down the rag !” “Humour ’em, guv’nor—humour ’em !” said a paying member of the audience soothingly. “Look here.'l’ll make .up the tanner myself.” “Thank you !’’ replied Mr. Alexander stiffly. “But I require neither your money nor your advice ! And let me tell you, sir, that by wasting the one you discount the value of the other !” “Talks like a book, Bill, don’t he ?’ exclaimed a girl admiringly. “Yuss,” assented her swain. “A book as nobody wants to read, hut what can’t he shut up.” He raised his voice. '“How about that fivepence ha’penny, though, guv’nor ?” “Have no fear. Your halfpenny shall be returned to you in full,” said Mr. Alexander haughtily. Again the eloquent Dan stepped for-; ward. “Ladies and gentlemen and fellow- ! creatures,” he shouted, “you will all : be very pleased to hear that my distin’guished friend and colleague, Mr. Alexander the Great, notwithstanding ” ‘"Smile, George!” murmured someone. “Mr, Alexander,” Dan repeated, “is willing to go on frith the programme and give you his famous selection from ‘The Silver King,’ provided one more penny is forthcoming. But, yon see, him having to do a millionaire in this act, besides two other characters, unites he’s got at least a tanner to jingle in his pocket he can’t | feel the Tart, as us actors say. And' Mr. Alexander, being an artist, there’s only one thing keeps him off the stage, and that is ” “Eggs !” suggested a sepulchral voice. I ; “Well, well,” said Dan, “I don’t much care who makes the jokes, so long as somebody does the laughing. My own jokes are a bit thin, I admit. But, then,” he added, with a touch of pathos; “so am I. Thank you, lady ! Got that smile into working order again, George I ■ think we shall require it. Thank yon, sir ! „ Thank you, ma’am ! Now, George—smile ! Do smile, George, even if it hurts you !”—“Answers.”