Page 5 Advertisements Column 1

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 23, Issue 6, 23 January 1912, Page 5

Guest—Did you taka my order for i beefsteak? Waiter—Yes, sirl " j Guest —I thought you looked life; him, but your beard has grown erably since I gave the order I—Heitere •Welt. - • • A Dictionary Market. ; Stranger—l am agent for the new, i unabridged and improved dictionary; | just issued by the — i I Editor—l have no use for dictionaries. ( ! “But suppose you do not know-thoi i meaning of a word?” i “I, use some other one. ” : “But -you must surely occasionallyi be ( bothered about spelling?” “Yes, often. By the way. I guess you can sell a few to the printers and proof- i : readers in the next room.”—New YorkWeekly. 1 “ Superstitions* j The following queer political an-| nouncement appears in a Georgia news- j paper: . j “I announce myself as a candidate to succeed myself, having held the office! ■l3 years and not desiring to leave it on the thirteenth year, which would,be! unlucky. If elected, I promise to resign ; promptly when I shall have been in, office 14 years even.” —Atlanta Consti- :: tution. , , v . I . .. Uneasy. i “The Samoan government,” remark-’ ed ilataafa to the court geometer, “is : 1 what you might call a triangular affair, I ' isn’t it?” '-•*<(*> ■ “Exactly so, your majesty.” '"'l “Well, I wish arrangements could be : made to let me get quietly into one of; the corners instead of being compelled ■ to sit continually on an apex. ” —Waah-j ■ ington Star. » ,i ’ I Court Compliments. j | “You fergit yer court manners,“j ' j said the Billville justice to the green ’ lawyer. “In addressin of this here court > j you must alius say, Yer hcnnat.’ ” .--v Ej “Looky here, Bill.” said the lawyer, 1 ’ “don’t yer put on none er yer court airsj ■with me, or I’ll put some law in yer’ I head by bustin yer ’side er it with thisi here Georgy codel” —Atlanta t tion. .... i-.assasiifiS &S ■