THE VERGER.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 21, Issue 89, 2 December 1910, Page 2

THE VERGER.

By the churchyard gates the verger waits, Decked out in his gown and cape, And as he stands he washes his hands, In the “best invisible soap.” With bland-like smile, he seeks to beguile The passers-by within, And join the throng who are now la song In anthem, psalm, and hymn. Now close at hand, there stands a band Of urchins, numbering three, And so pleased ■ are they with the verger’s way They can scarce contain their glee. His walk sedate, do they imitate, And add to the imitation, By gesture expressing, as if addressing A crowded congregation. Now the verger bland did not understand ; He thought they wanted to enter ; “Come in,” said he, "I’ll find you three ** A beautiful seat near the centre.” With the same bland smile, right down (the aislct, His echoing footsteps fall ; But on turning round, with surprise he found There were no boys at all ! Much mystified, he went outside, And the boys when they saw him coming, , “Pip-pipped !” with glee, and then Instantly Away they started running. Alas ! Alack ! right across their track, A policeman suddenly glided ; They saw him not, and bang the lot Into his arms collided. ■''Wot’s up with you ?” asked the man in blue. The urchins trembled greatly, “Oh, sir !” they whined, with presence of mind, “You’re wanted —’me-di-ately ! That old bloke there, with the carroty hair Told us you're badly needed.’* The policeman nodded, And then with stolid Official gait proceeded Towards the door. When the verger saw

Him coming, he thus addressed him; “Please step this way. What a beautiful day !” And into a pew he pressed him. Now in this pew was a gentleman who A hymn was busily humming, P.C. 60 addressed him low, And said : ‘•‘Are yer quietly coming ? Will yer make a row T Are yer cornin’ now ? x

Or am I to use some force?” The gentleman quailed,/ and visibly paled, And murmured, “Oh, of course ! But really I .” “Now, then, don’t try

Them arguing, games to do, This crime of yours ia against the laws,

And that’s good enough for you.” To the porch they went. The unfortunate gent

In undertone protested: With ‘‘Oh, the shock to the rest of the flock, When they hear I've been arrested ! ’ On the church door mat, 60 dons his / hat, And takes out a notebook large,

Then the pencil bites, ere he slowly writes^ And says* to the verger, “What charge 7" The verger bland embraces each hand. ‘‘What charge? Oh, no !” says he, “Ob, there is no call to charge at all. Ahem ! All the seats are free I"