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Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 8, Issue 13, 12 February 1907, Page 6

HU Ten* <ff Endearment. “Do«s your husband still call you his psairl and his pm and all that?" asked the young matron. ’ “Not exactly,” the «ld*f one doubtfully. “He lias taken to entiling- me his gold brick of late and I’lfl not just jture what he means by it." “It has the right sound," suggested the younger one. “Yes,” admitted the elder, "but it’s hard to say whether he gets hia definition from the sluing dictionary or the Regular one."—Chicago Po«t. Philadelphia Girls, Teas—lf you don’t love him, don’t you let him know it? Jess—Well, he sends me flowers and takea me to the theater, you knc«rv, and— Teas—But, graciousl I don’t see how you can play with his affections that way. Jess—Play? I call that “working" them. —Philadelphia Times. The Ontalde View, We envy oth?r men who seem To have so much that gives them pride— A : , but there's milk beneath j)\e creartlj There's mud below the limpid stream, Tup house may have a rotten beam That looks so well outside, —Chicago Record-Herald. Iff A. STATE OF CERTAINTY,

Elede—Dacioue, mamma, whata funny odor! Mamma—Ye*, dear, run down and see if papa is smoking’ one of tho«e county fair cigars ot whether Nora is burning the other cabbage in tie kitchen.—Chicago Daily News. The Contents ot the Pi#, Thers was chopped meat and citron* loo# An’ ralslne without number; And goblin* wild who came to vi#W When I essayed to slumber. —Washington Star. A Discussion, First Tramp— You oughtn’t to toll people you want a nickel to quench yer hunger. Second Tramp—Ain’t dat what ysr do wit’ yer hunger? Dat’s correct! First Tramp—lt’s correct, all right; but it ain’t diplomatic.—Puck, The Plane##, Mrs. Mala prop—That’s young Mr. Jenkins. He’s engaged to be married, yon know. Mrs. Gabble—lndeed? And is ftwrt the young woman with him now? Mrs. Mala prop—Yes, that’s hiaftaoco. —Philadelphia Press. Doubtful. He—l’m sorry, Marla I She—What’s the good of bein’sorry af.er spilin’ the clean floor with yer dirty feet? He—Well, I dunno, Marta, I don’t h’pose you could jaw me any more if I Wasn’t sorry.—Puck. Curious Daughter, "Will you get wings when you goto Heaven?’’ asked little Elsie of her lather, who i bald-headed;' " Ves, dear "he replied. ’’And will they put feathers on your id, too, papa?" she persisted,—Ohio c.ate Journal. / Not Possible. Visitor—Your dollie seems to be V" ry happy. A Tiny Girl of To-Day—Well, auntie, I'm sure she isn’t, because she has only '•uc dress, and that isn’t stylish,— Town and Country. Worth Winning. He—Please piny for me. / She—l don’t play. ID- PlfNVf slag form#, » don’t sing. 1: c— -Please marry me.—Chicago ’iy New*. Somewhat Like On#. "IMd you notice how she Jabbers*! y when she sat there between r two men?” ‘ oodness, yes! It made me think a tongue sandwich.”—Philadelphia bulletin. Willi#'* Strong; Defense, "Willie, you are forever Interrupting me!" “Well, it’s not my fault, mamma, If you’re always talking,’’—Yonkers Statesman. Touching: Him Dp. He—-I think your father andmo4h«tr are such charming people! She'—Yes; it makes me sad when I think that at almost apy time 1 may be leaving them—Puck. Ah! Where Indeed? "Ca-pt. Spocmleigh, they say kissingia daag« rou s—l l eca use of microbes.’’ "Ya-a* no I heah!” "But we hear so much of where *re yours?"—Ally Slopcr, Papa's Little Joke. Tommy—Father, why do men gtt bald toon or than woman? Mr. Pigg—Because they don’t wear their hair so long. Will that satisfy fou?—Tit-Bit* , . ' V \ ' «