A SQUELCHER.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 17, Issue 20, 13 March 1906, Page 2

A SQUELCHER.

ti W«i Mlfffctr Rong-h, bnt Taught ■ Good Leiien, In the lower part of the tipper peninsula there is a family in which the majority of the members are veritable giants. At their nearest town there was a clothing store that failed last summer, its stock of goods being turned over to a Detroit firm in the coarse of settlement. The head of this firm sent his son to the town in question to dispose of the goods at retail. The son is a good feeler, and put on a few extra furbelows in the little northern village. One Saturday afternoon there was a rush to the “slaughter sale,” the son, “little, hurt, oh, my I” doing his best to dazzle the pretty country girls who were assisting in the family purchases. When a prospective customer, fully 6 feet 6 inches, built in proportion and with a voice that shook things, came in, the son took him in hand. “I’m Jookin fur a suit fur my boy,” began the customer. “Certainly, ” answered the son glibly. "Right this way, please.” “Burned If I know just what to do,” after half a dozen suits had been examined. "I don’t know that boy’s meas’erments. S’pose 1 orter brought him along.” “Oh, I don’t know! You make a pretty good load for one team yourself.” And the son strutted consciously while the girls giggled. “How old’s the boy? Seventeen, hey? Just about my age. We can fix him out all right enough.” “Whatl” oame in a voice that filled the store. “Why, you little shrimp, your whole suit wouldn’t make a vest fur my boy. He was twice as big as you afore we weaned him. ” This time the giggling girls laughed outright, and the son did nothing during the remainder of his stay but attend to office business.—Detroit Free Press. GOT A LESSON IN SPANISH. Chicago Student Who Han Mastered the Myitery of the “J.” One of the students of the University of Chicago went to a restaurant on Jaokson street a few days ago with two friends who bad fought with the First regiment at Santiago. Naturally they talked of the war, and, although the student showed considerable knowledge of the campaign, bis pronunciation o! Spanish proper names was bad. Invariably he gave the Spanish “J” its English sound. His companions, who were better posted on the Oastilian tongue, stood it as long as they could,, and finally one of them said; “See here, if you want to talk war with us you must pronounce those Spanish words as they should be. Say ‘San Huan’ and ‘Monteho,’ and remember that‘Hunta’ is proper. Don’t give the words the ‘J’ sound. There is no ‘J. ’ It’s pronounced ‘H’ always. ” “Oh, is it?” returned the student, with a sneer of sarcasm. “I suppose your name itr'Hohn,’ not ‘John,’ as it used to be before you went to Cuba, and perhaps you want me to tell yon that this restaurant is on ‘Haokson’ street.” The derisive laugh that followed so angered the student that he leaped to his feet. "I want you to understand,” he shouted, “that 1 am a heutlemanl Hump on to me, you haokaases, and I’ll show you this is no hoking matter. By the humping Herusalem, you haven’t any more sense than a hack rabbit! If you insinuate that I’m a country hake, I'll break your haW I By hlmlny, I’m going 1” And the indignant student put on his bat and walked out.—Chicago Intel Ocean. Precise. Mrs. Nagleigh—l suppose you are satisfied now that you made a mistake when you married me? Mr. Nagleigh—l own that I made the mistake, but I am not satisfied.—Boston Traveler. What He Feared. The Agent—But there are hard wood floors in the house. The Mick—Thot’s just it! Shure, an It’s bad enough phwiu me woifo truns mo down on th’ one wo hoy now.—New York Journal. Liberty’s Limitations. Immigrant—At last I am in free America. A man can do pretty much as he pleases iu this country, can’t ho? Native—Y-e-s, unless he’s married,— New York Weekly. Ills Failing. Her Mother—l am surprised at Charles squandering so much money on a phonograph. • The Wife—l am not. He always did like to hear himself talk.—Harlem Life.