IN A RIDING SCHOOL.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 16, Issue 14, 21 February 1905, Page 7

IN A RIDING SCHOOL.

A Cavalry sergeant .w»«; 9# 9t patience with an awkward 1 “ Never approach the boms t*W behind without speaktef,* h* claimed; "if yo»i do KteK that thick head o* fm r*. amj Ibf end of it will be tb*t we ll iwn thing but lame hqrsfi Is \Jm ( rmi • ix ' v

!;.• 186—there were at Paris, as well ft .i the depailments, a hundred lotteries fo >. u iuble purposes. M msieur and Madame Simple, retiree > • i> dists, enjoyed, on a third floor in the i j Clulot, about three thousand francs i • .!■, uf which they scarcely spent two-thirds ..■V arose at nine, breakfasted, went to the .1 ci de Plantes to look at the bears, thf . :i‘c;vs, and the two elephants; returns, . 1 mice at five, played a game at piquet ,ii i svent to bed when the drums beat til : o. it. How war it possible for them t( ..i-J mure?

-.Sundays they passed the day at Belle e where they had hired a square patcl ,’ iien, in the middle of which rose a sorl ■ bin, christened with the title of "countrj Their friends and messmates con ■>! of a pup-dog named Pyrame, whowaf ,1 ime’sspoilt child; a cat called Minette. ..• dally petted by Monsieur; and a family ii rale-doves, a source tc both of the most

I Jiiinl recollections, particularly when the •d< entertained the hen with his interminuk: series of salutations. In short, their life ■ them was a succession of cloudless days, .ri .nl every year with one or two important •iits, such as the happy hatching of a pail iinle turtles, or the imprudent propensity ‘ iik'h Minette manifested to hunt after nocii ial adventures in early spring. The Tuples, therefore, were as nappy as it was a Hsibic for people to be, when Madame took mil her head to lay out the joint savings f her husband and herself in the purchase a ticket in each lottery. Madame Simple, •. mo was now and then tickled by dreams ol u ■i ry and grandeur, was not sorry to sow ;be seed of emotions in the somewhat too ii form furrow of her existence.

Madame Simple’s hopes were not disapii inted. Her husband announced to her 'lirty-three times that they had won the p : ncip;il prize in each lottery, thereby i lording her thirty-three different emotions, which varied according to the importance oi lie sum, from trembling to convulsion, from t; xlamation to fainting. The result of the whole was, that the good works of Monsieur and Madame Simple brought them in the .ri'le of one million two hundred and fifty ,h ,-usand francs.

The clock struck nine. M. Simple sat Up :n Ins bed and rubbed his eyes. " Wake up, Goody I” "lam not asleep," replied Madame Simple u!i importance; " I am reflecting." " Lei us make haste and dress. We shall i e 100 late to see the monkeys let out." " Vou well deserve the name which you have given me, Monsieur Simple I Whet people have sixty thousand francs a year, they do not amuse themselves with such nonsense as monkeys. We will go shopping this morning along the Boulevards, as far as the Madeiaine. I must have a thousand .rancs’ worth of lace."

• To open a shop with, Goody dear ?" ’ To trim a satin mantelet. Monsieur Simple."

" That will indeed be a fine mantelet then." " I mean we should have plenty of other s nart things too. Do you fancy we are to I i ve any longer in this stupid, humdrum way, in a sort of public barrack, where twenty ledgers elbow each other on the staircase?" " Nobody has ever elbowed me." " But that might happen. In short, I have Iv.ng and maturely meditated upon our new pisition, as well as on the changes which it ought to cause in our existence. My plana arc arranged." " But, Goody—"

" I must remark, once for all, Monsieur, that there is nothing so vulgar as for married people to call each other Goody, Totsy, ■.luck, or—"

" By Jove I I do it out of affection," " But when people have sixty thousand francs a year, they show their affection in a more genteel form of words."

"Very likely, my honey; but habits to which one has been accustomed for thirty vears are not shaken off in half an hour."

" Certainly, you will not do it in a hurry, if you are as long about it as you are in dressing." " I am ready now, darling duck." "Make haste and get your breakfast. 2 want to be off."

Madame Simple was an extremely expedi* i ious person. Her plan was no sooner con* reived than executed; and the happy couple were soon installed, as if by enchantment, in a grand hotel in the Chaus»6e A' Autin. Four servants, in splendid liveries, loitered about the door; a caleche and a coupi stood in ihe coach house; and four magnificent horses pawed the floor of the stable. M. Simple regarded all these fine things with an air of complete astonishment. He wandered from room to room, walked on the tips of his toes, as if he bad been in a sick man’s chamber. Me wiped off with his sleeve any dust of r,nuff which he might happen to let fall upon the furniture; and his wife had the greatest ossible difficulty in making him understand ..at he need not take off his hat when be '.poke to his servants. 111.

M Simple wished to get up. Following the instructions his wife had given him, he pulled a bell-rope which hung at his bed’s head. At the end of five minutes he repeated the operation. After another five minutes, is nobody came, he pulled at the rope for a third time. At last Jacque, the valet de chambre, showed himself, puffing as if had put himself out of breath by coming in such an extraordinary hurry; so that M. Simple, instead of making any remarks about his negligence, internally pitied the fate of poor servants, who are compelled to throw themselves into a perspiration to va’isfy tiie impatient demands of their r.aslers.

lacque look a good quarter of an hour to railed and arrange the requisites for M. Simple’s toilet. He employed a second in .Saving him and brushing his hair, a third pulling on his boots, a fourth in tying his raval, and a fifth in assisting him with his raistcoat and coat. M. Simple had the vleasure of spending an hour and a half in in operation which formerly took him only t wenty minutes to complete. But, in recompense for that, his pantaloons girded him so .ightly that he could scarcely breathe : hi* .aval made him feel as if he were in th« •llory : and his corns, imprisoned in lightJilting boots, gave him horrible pain. Nevertheless. on perceiving, unexpectedly, his own •.mage reflected in a mirror, he had the self- ■ •ommand to subdue all outward indication ; the tortures he suffered, and to make himl a respectful bow, believing the figure to e some stranger of distinction who had ome to visit him. IV. Dinner-time arrived, and M. Simple sal down to ilia table " Dear, dear ! what can thisbe, ducky ?" he aid, as he tasted some soup which was per Vi'il v unknown to him in regard to colour, teste, am! smell. •• b is a ny fish soup, delicately seasoned.” " I -'vlicateK poisoned, you mean, my darling Now iha; we arc rich, there is no reason v I'-; we should not liave a hotch-potch every v, with a -.thicken in it too, as good Henry : V used to say ’ • You deserve to have been born in those primitive urnes! A hotchpotch! The idea t requiring a cook, who rus served b Miiord f’lnmp'ddiug s i-trho» .-■< jiaker Hotch-potch 1“

SUICIDE OF CHILDREN. From January xst to September I.sth ”890, 62 children, 46 boys and 16 girls, committed suicide in Berlin, Of this number 24 had attained the age 01 15, :4 their 14th year, 9 their 13th, while 7 were only 12 years of age, and x had not attained the age of 7, In most of the cases the immediate cause for the act remains a secret, but it is supposed to have been due to exceptional severity on the part of servants or teachers, TWO OF A TRADE. A visitor at a restaurant noticed that the waiter invariably put the coppers into his waistcoat pocket, and when giving out change he was always a penny or two short, with the natural consequence that the guests made him a present of the small change. When our visitor came to settle his account this manoeuvre was repeated : but he said to the waiter: "Just feel in your waistcoat pocket 1" to which the astonished gargon replied with a smile: " Been a waiter yourself sometime* I suppeee ?" HISTORICAL TREES. Os the road from Therapia to Buyukdere, on the Bosphoxus, there stand in a beautiful meadow seven splendid plantations of immense size. They have been several times struck by lightning, split down the middle, and in some cases part of the trunk has been consumed by fire. Nevertheless, they are still fresh and vigorous, putting forth fresh leaves and branches every year. Under their shade Geoffery de Bouillon, Duke of Lorraine, encamped in the year 1096, with a portion of his suite, when on his way to rescue the holy places from the thraldom of the Saracens; and popular belief attributes to this circumstance the wonderful vitality of these *' Holy Trees." JOSH BILLINGS’ PHILOSOPHY. The most valuable thing in this world iz time, and yet people waste it as they do water, most ov them letting it run full ahead, and even the most prudent let it drizzle. The devil himself, with all his genius, always travels under an alias. This shows the power of truth and morality. A sekret is like an aking tooth—it keeps us uneasy until it iz out. I have larnt one thing, bi grate experience, and that iz, I want az much watching as ray nabors do. The only way to learn sum men how to do enny thing iz to do it yourself. If a dog falls in love with you at first sight it will do to trust him ; not so with a man. One of the hardest things to do is to be a good listener. Thozt who are stone deal succeed the best. . If yu don’t know how to lie, cheat and .steal, turn yure attention to pollyticks, and learn how. RECENT RESEARCHES ON SUNLIGHT. The researches of Professor S. P. Langley, the distinguished American astronomer who recently paid a visit to the Old Country, have largely increased our knowledge of the solar ladiation. These researches were made on an exceptionally good site, namely, Mount Whitney, in Southern California, a mountain 15,000 feet high, and. situated in desert tracts where the air is remarkably clear. The chief results of his observations are that pristine or extra-terrestrial sunlight is bluish, or, in other words the sun, if seen beyond the absorptive atmosphere of the earth, may appear blue. Moreover, the total loss of radiation by absorption of the atmosphere is nearly double what was formerly believed. Solar radiation, according to Professor Langley, is capable of exerting over one horse-power per square yard of the normally exposed surface, or of melting a shell of sixty yards thick over the surface of the globe annually. It is probable, he remarks, that the human race owes its existence and preservation even more to the heat-storing action of the atmosphere than has been believed. A NORWEGIAN PILOT. II Did you ever come across a Norwegian pilot ?" I asked, cherishing a sailor’s veneration for the indomitable courage of these Northern sea-dogs. " Did 1 ?’’ he returned with warmth ; " I should think so. Why. only last year, bound for Christiansand, I came here in a dense fog that had lasted nearly all the way across. Knowing 1 ought to be pretty close ashore, I stopped her engines and blew the whistle; but not a yard ahead could I see, and as night set in I don’t deny I didn’t like it. Suddenly I heard a voice— 1 Do you want a pilot, sir ?' and, looking over the side, there, sure enough, was a pilot boat. Well, the fog was as thick as a wall; but no sooner was the fellow on board, than—‘ Full speed 1 Starboard her helm!’ and away we went for the rock’s. After steaming ahead for about half an hour the roar of the breakers became deafening, and I could see absolutely nothing—nothing but the fog. ' Hard a-port!’ the pilot sang out, and hard a-port ,t was. Close to us the surf thundered among the rocks ; but a moment later we were in smooth water, and were brought to an anchor as handy as if it had been clear daylight." The captain here walked away a few pace.; to get a better look at something forward, when, returning, he added—" Sir, you may go to the length and breadth of this world, bat for hardiness and skill you will not beat the Norwegian pilot I" This ivarm encomium recalled a reminiscence of my youth, which at the time made a vivid impression upon me, and which, though it has absolutely nothing to do with the p esent visit to Sweden, I cannot refrain rom mentioning. Imagine a stormy winter’s lay, with a pale blue sky, a dark-blue, turmlent sea, and a ship with close-reefed npsails. The gale howled in the rigging, utloouing the narrow strips of canvas, . n.i r ip rapping the running gear against the pars with wearisome monotony. Under ur lev, as far as the eye could reach, trctchcd the iron-band coast of old Norway, .mere the waves, leaping unceasingly gainst the black rocks, hurled jets of white oam high into the air. From out among hose granite boulders a small craft appears, .bowing at first only a sprit-sail with a red trioc down the middle ; but when it draws •ea’rer we can see that the boat is covered vith a deck, is broad of beam, clinker-built, nd pointed fore and aft—shaped, in fact, kc a gull. There are but two hands on ioard. The pilot—yellow-bearded, broadhouldered, with a sou -wester on his head -stands by the mast; his son, a mere lad las hold of the tiller. Our ship has been ;epi close-hauled, labouring heavily in the ongh sea, and presently the boat is to windward a short distance off. With his hand irmly on the tiller, the boy is keenly watching his chance, and the next moment runs us dangerously near; then a rope i? brown; is deftly caught by the pilot, who ties it round his waist, and the boat again sheers off. There is a moment’s suspense; a big wave approaches; as it rises it lifts the small craft o» its, crest to a level with out rigging ; in that instant the pilot jumps, and lands safely in our mizzen shrouds. Ihe lad meanwhile has promptly luffed, and alone in his nutshell, now lost to sight, nowheaved aloft, he makes his way sturdily towards shore : bat on board the frigate we know that “ All’s well V'—Conthill Magazine