The Home.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 9, Issue 80, 7 October 1898, Page 2 (Supplement)

The Home.

A Hint. There are more persevering wooers about than most people imagine. But girls must not presume too much on their constancy. The maiden who plumes herself openly on the slave who “won’t take ‘ No’ ” had better beware, if she really thinks she could love him, that is, and wishes him to continue to persevere. Love is as quick at vanishing as it is strong - in staying. It will put up with much, but it will not tolerate every test. Introductions at “At Homes.” The vexed question of Introduction at such informal gatherings as weekly " at homes,” about which people wax so earnest, does not affect an ideal hostess in the very least. She Judges the necessity by the individual, and will always contrive to adroitly lead a going conversation into the direction of a shy and timid visitor, who finds him or her self launched into its midst ere they are aware. It is such an easy matter for a clever hostess to mention the names of her visitors to each other in the course of conversation, without actually going the length of a formal introduction, the very Informality of the action tending to enhance the ease and friendliness on both sides. Nor should a hostess persist in that fussy determination to divest you—whether you will or no—of your garments at an afternoon call. She may suggest, perhaps, that you loosen your wraps, but an instinctive intelligence will guide her as to the necessity and prudence of pressing the attention further. And in the same spirit of kindly acquiescence will she receive your adieux. There is a ring of delightful sincerity in the way the ideal hostess takes for granted that your yea is yea, and your nay is nay. It robs conventional intercourse of that wearying strain and stiffness which some of us find so indescribably trying and exhausting. Effect of Colour. It is marvellous to see the change in a room that the merest touches of colour will make. A lady says ;—“ If you take half-a-dozen sticks of bright Vermillion sealing-wax, and artfully dispose them in a room—a good deal, of course, depends upon their disposition—you will be perfectly astonished at their decorative value, and, unless you are in the secret, be unable to understand how such richness and brilliancy has been given to a common-place apartment.” Womanly Women. What the world needs is womanly women, not women who forget their sex and imitate the masculine gender in dress and manners, but true women who have combined in their nature together with dignity, love and tenderness, compassion for the weak and sympathy for the suffering. To be womanly a woman need not give up her dignity, as some suppose, for a true woman has a natural dignity. Womanly does not mean to declare yourself inferior to man, but to place yom - - self at his side as his helper in all things. A noble woman’s influence brightens the lives of those around her. She is to be found making the home happy, not by being a household grudge, but by being the sharer of her family’s joys and sorrows, the good angle of their lives. She is found by the bed of sickness, by the hearth of want, wherever she can do good she is found. God bless the “ womanly woman.”

Talking as a Recreation. Talking is one of the best of all recreations, and a woman who understands the art possesses a most useful and enjoyable accomplishment, writes Amelia E. Barr. After a course of London dinners, Sir Walter Scott said, “ The Bishops and the lawyers talked better than the wits,” that is, the wits talked for the sake of talking, and the Church and the Law had something to talk about. Yet specialties and hobbies are not admissible at a dinnertable, and a woman who can only talk on her own fad has no business in society. She ought to write a pamphlet or go to the lecture-platform, for any conversation at the dinner-table that is a strain on the attention or the patience soon becomes a bore ; indeed, one of the chief elements of pleasant company is a readiness to talk, or to be talked to, on any rational subject. Womanly Reserve. One of the most admired characteristics of women used to be that of reserve. Whatever her emotions might be, she, if well bred, would try to preserve a quiet and calm exterior, and so strongly was this felt to be becoming and seemly, that it was quite an approved maxim that “ a lady should never be surprised till the crows built in her pocket, and then she might wonder where the sticks came from.” Since those days women have greatly changed, and in some things, no doubt, very much for the better ; but though we rejoice in their greater opportunities of mental and physical culture, and would be sorry indeed to see them retrograde to the old false ideas of gentility, which forbade gentlewomen from earning their own living, still in casting aside the old fetters which so long trammeled them, it would be well if they kept a firm hold of a proper womanly reserve. At the present time women not only assert their right of freedom in their own sphere, but many of them seem to recognise no boundaries whatever, and by so doing they place themselves on a lower level in the eyes of men than women should ever occupy. Now comes the question, what should be the limit of women’s work ? Where should they draw the line ? This, at any rate, it is safe to answer : “At that point where their work ceases to do good.” As soon as a woman feels she is in a position in which the best and noblest of men cease to look upon her with reverence, then she may be sure she has overstepped the limits of womanly dignity and reserve, and that there her influence will not be pure, elevating, and noble. There is plenty of real work for all of us to do beyond the sphere of home, in the fields of art. science, and literature, and also, like Florence Nightigale, and many other brave women, as nurses and comforters of the sick, the wounded, and the dying. Woman’s influence is sometimes said to be greater now than in past times. It is more palpable, certainly, but I doubt whether more potent, for, as we know, well for centuries the hand that rocked the cradle ruled the world. The difference is that nowadays women are not content to work quietly as mere wirepullers ; instead, they like to see and be seen, and to have the credit of their deeds. The old idea was that “ men must work and women must weep,” but the newer idea that women should work too, according to their talents and opportunities, seems more rational and healthy, and is calculated to make them ween less. Let them give over weeping by all means, but in all their work let them remember that “ woman is not undeveloped man, but diverse,” and therefore not to try to be like men, and also not to think that nothing is too high or to sacred for them to meddle with. —“Home Notes.”