MISCELLANEOUS.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume I, Issue 62, 9 February 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The reason why men succeed who mind their own business is because there is so little competition. A smart American girl calls a young fellow of her acquaintance “ Honeysuckle,” because he is always hanging over the front fence. Mrs. Homespun, who has a terrible time every morning to get her young brood out of their bed, says she cannot understand why children are called the rising generation. “ Yes,” said Miss Penn, “ I rejected Mr. Hogg. Nice fellow, but I couldn’t have the announcement of my marriage appear in the papers under the heading Hogg-Penn.” A well-known author once wrote an article in Blackwood, and signed himself “ A. S.” “What a pity,” observed Douglas Jerrold, “ that be will only tell two-thirds of the truth.” In all parts of India preaching in the public squares has been practised largely by Christian missionaries, and they are now imitated by both Hindoo and Mohammedan priests. “ Oh, my love,” cried the gushing husband, “ I love you so that I would go to the ends of the earth to please you !” “ That’s the sort for me,” she replied, and she at once began to pack his trunk.

Don’t be afraid to say “ my dear” to your bride. Nobody will think from that that you are on your tour. Couples who have fought like cats and dogs for twenty years do that, Belgium has erected a Palace of Justice about half the size of St. Peter’s at Rome, and one-fifth of the entire revenue of the country will not pay for it. Along the streets of New York and over the roofs of its buildings there are strung not less than 500 miles of electric wires used by the arc light illuminating companies. A solicitor at Leeds last week purchased a ready-made pair of trousers without trial, a weakness of which he would never have been guilty with a ready-made pair of horses. On being tried at home, they proved to be about six inches too long. As it was late on on Saturday night, and the shops were closed, the gentleman took the trousers to his wife and asked her to cut them off, and hem them over to the correct longitude. The good lady, whose dinner had possibly disagreed with her, refused. The same result followed an application to the wife’s sister, and the eldest daughter. But, before retiring to bed, the wife thought better of it, took the breeches of the law, and cutting off six inches from the legs, hemmed them up nicely and restored them to the wardrobe, Half an hour later, the daughter, seized with compunction for her unfllial conduct, took the trousers, and having reduced them by six inches, hemmed and replaced them. Finally the sister-in-law felt the pangs of compunction, and she too performed a surgical operation on the garment. When the solicitor, good careless man, appeared at breakfast on Sunday, the family thought a Highland chief had arrived en route for Doncaster.