ON DIT.

Poverty Bay Independent, Volume I, Issue 6, 11 April 1885, Page 6

ON DIT.

The barefaced ingratitude shown by Aunt Sally in ransacking and scavengering the cesspools of the Colonial Press for filth wherewith to bespatter the Portable Gasometer is most unpardonable. Has not the latter gone to The greatest extremes of trouble, hard/ship, and effrontry in ordet to provide column after column of daily trash k such as his old friend Sally has such a j marked weakness for; has he not sunk ' all his pride and greatness and descended from buggies and bunkum to the plebian level of walking round with the hat in order that the chirrup of the cricket might ’be heard on his hearth, and gladden the heart of Sally during the present sore famine and dearth of original news ? The philanthropical Rufus has made a further donation towards the Colonial Treasury. Finding that Mr. Burch persisted in his professional attentions, he determined to outwit him. Rejecting all other sustenance he took the cause of dispute to his chamber, where he revelled in it for a week, after having nailed up the holy of holies. At the end of this period the tormentor again put in an appearance and demanded is 6d, the man who had called to perform his accustomed sanitary duties having been unable to effect an entrance. The usual result of an appeal to the law ended in Rufus lodging the is 6d in the hands of the Court, together with 5s donation to the Colonial exchequer. It is said that the week’s peculiar diet had no serious or perceptible effect upon his appearance, although his redolent properties have become somewhat more pungent. The recent performance, entitled the “Disowned,” or “Alice, or the Mystery,” which has formed the centre of attraction on the local stage for some time past, is about to have another scene added to it. The plot is so well known

I to the majority of our readers as to render a short sketch of its most striking passages almost superfluous. But at the risk of being taxed with repetition and tediousness, we venture to briefly touch upon a few of the most thrilling points and strikingly characterist c figures which adorn this popular loc.il drama. A Wood pigeon, having rendered itself somewhat conspicuous for its cooing proclivities betakes itself to this Arcanum where she speedily becomes the prey of a wary old cock bud who is always on the quive vive for such feathered goslings. Speedily tireing of the close attentions and stant billings exacted by his victim and dreading lest his fouled nest might attract the attention of the sportman’s gun the artful old cock persuaded his Amoroso to imitate the foul cuckoo and appropriate the nest of another bird. It is needless to follow the various attempts which were made, and the artful wiles which were resorted to in order to mate this wanton hen Wood pigeon with son e young and unsuspecting cock, and it will suffice to state that the old dodger Lutrally failed. In this, as in all other fairy tales, the finale brings all things right. The old bird, thoroughly tired with being frustrated in all his nefarious attempts, takes the young bird back under his wing, and they may now be found roosting together under the one bough, thus owning the “ Disowned,” and solving the perplexity of “Alice, or the Mysteries.” A study for un-natural students : — The “gentleman” who is so “thoroughly conversant with all oil matters,” and who is so constantly finding the material for the Weaver to weave his web with, and who is so constantly “ returning from the works ” with “ reports” 01 suca “favorable indications.” There is “a , strong smell of gas ” in this bore-hole I We shall be happy to assist any student in his researches by granting him theloan of a powerful microscope. At the magic lantern entertainment given by the Rev. Fox on Tuesday evening, the larrikins outside caused ‘such annoyance as to seriously mar the pleasure of the evening. We cannot help thinking that if some of the superfluous energy which has been wasted bn endeavoring to prove a foolish man an idiot was directed against this objectionable element, there wonld be more profit to the public and more honor to their servants.