HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18313, 3 February 1934, Page 10

HUMOUR---More or Less

What we want to know is what will, happen when it takes everybody’s income to pay the taxes to provide Government aid for everybody. * * * * “Do you really think times have changed, my dear?” said a young woman to her grandmother. “I think they have,” said the old lady. “Why, when a husband returns, home from the office on tlnvs.lV now and discovers his wife sewing awu} r on a tiny garment, it means only one thing—she’s making a new evening dress. ”• * * K- * Shrinkage^. “Human beings are taller in the. morning than at night,” says a Harley street expert. And much shorter again at the end of the month. —Punch. Needed Sympathy. “ You sold mo a car about two weeks ago.” “Yes, sir. How do you like it?” “I want you to tell me everything you said about that car all over again. I’m getting a bit discouraged.”

The burglar effected an entrance: into the bank. He found the way to the strong room. When the light from I his lantern fell on the door he saw the sign:— “Have vur Dynamite. This Safe 'I is not Locked. Turn the Knob and Open.” : For a moment he ruminated. “Anyway, there’s no harm in trying it, if it really is unlocked.” He grasped the knob and turned, instantly the ollieo was flooded with light, an alarm bell rang loudly, an electric, shock rendered him helpless, while a door in the Avail opened and a bulldog rushed out and seized him. “I know Avhat’s wrong Avjth me,” he sighed an hour later, Avhen the cell door closed upon him. “I’ve too much faith in human nature. I'm ; too trusting.” His Wish. Pilot (to scared passenger): How do you like it ? Passenger: Makes me Avish I ay as down and out. Premature. A. preacher in New Jersey, as he looked over his large congregation in Easter ,Sunday morning, said: “I realise that there are many here who j will not be with us again until next ‘Eastertime. I take this opportunity of wishing them a Merry Christmas.” —Boston Transcript.

“May we play at keeping store in here, mamma? ” “Yes, but you must be very, very quiet. “Oh, all right,, mamma. We’ll pretend avc don’t advertise.” # # * * Patient (in dentist’s chair): “Why docs the cavity, left by an extracted tooth seem so large when the tongue is thrust into it?” •Dentist: “Oh, just the natural tendency of the tongue to exaggerate.” * # * # Life’s hardest up and down is keep- ' ing up appearances Avhile holding dQAvn expenses. —-Los Angeles Times. Won't Admit It. The Aberdeen Synod disapproves of women as ciders. And Avhcre is the woman who would admit being (an) elder? —Glasgow Herald.