WOMEN'S WINDOW

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LIV, Issue 16838, 29 December 1928, Page 12

WOMEN'S WINDOW

maxims for wives and husbands. dr. hollander ox the perfect marriage. love's lunacy. ■'The unsuitable matches that we sec all about us," said Dr. Bernard Hollander, in a lecture on "The Psychology of Matrimony," delivered to the Ethnological Society in London, "are daily illustrations that men are not guided in choosing a wil'e by reason, appropriateness, common sense, good judgment, or any of the other evidences of sanity that they display in deciding iho other problems of life. "Pot example, the widower with small children who needs a. mother's wise counsel and eare, in many cases does not select tho woman of mature age who shows that she has the Madonna nature by the way in which she mothers animals and other people's infants. "On the contrary, he often deliberately selects a silly girl who makes an inferno of family life, quarrels with his offspring, and drives the boys from home and the girls into running off with the first man who asks them. "The poor young man who has his way to make in the world does not marry the economical, thrifty girl, who would help him to make his fortune, but often an extravagant and fashionable young woman who makes him slave all his life to provide her with comforts and luxuries. CHANGE OF CHARACTER, "Two facts," he continued, "must over be kept in view. The one is thaiwhile man's character in wedlock need not undergo any change, the girl, being transformed into a woman, may bavo her whole disposition altered. "Second, whatever the character, husband and wife having to live together day after day .and year after year, every secret feeling, trait, and purpose will out. There can bo no permanent deceit. Their lives will with certainty be laid bare to each other. There will bo no long-continued restraint possible. "The plain object, then, of mating, so far as it concerns the happiness of the individual, is lo find one man and one woman so constituted by nature and so modified by culture that they can live together, work together, rejoice together in life's joys, sustain each other in misfortune and grief, always increasing each other's happiness, and ail this by simply living according to their own natural impulses. An almost impossible task, of course, hut that is the ideal.

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE. Dr. Hollander advocated divorce for lunacy, habitual drunkenness, or drugtaking and where there exists "only absolute hatred between the partners." He condemned free love unions—"l can understand men being willing parties to them, but I can see nothing but, disadvantages to women." He concluded by stating some of the psychological conditions for happiness in matrimony:— "The woman should remember to make her home beautiful, not. only for her visitors, but also for her husband, and should take her share of the work as seriously as the man does his. "She should not hold her husband responsible because her friends are bettor oft" than herself. "She should remember that her lover who sees her only for an hour Van make it his business to be agreeable to her, whereas the husband sees her all day and in all moods. "She should remember, if her husband has deceived her. that a man can be unfaithful with a woman whom he neither loves nor likes. "home Life first." "The husband should put home life first and give his wife more of his spnro*fhne. He should not blame her for everything that goes wrong in the home. "He should tell his wife her faults in friendly words, and not in front of others, and take her part when strangers are present, even though she be in the wrong. "He should remember that to demand that a woman should always remain young is just, as absurd as lo wish that a fruit tree should remain covered with flowers all tho year round, and thiit, if he finds it an agony to see the same woman at breakfast for three hundred .and sixty-five days in the year, the chances are that she is just as much bored by him. "Finally, if both partners would study each other, respect each other, and, if cross, be angry one at a time, there would be fewer failures in marriage. ''

WON EN MORE PATRIOTIC THAN MEN.

At the Buxton Gardens Pavilion recently, Mrs Stanley Baldwin, wife of the Frime Minister, opened the last day's proceedings of the bazaar of the High Peak Unionist aiid Conservative Association.

"Without being provocative and without being discourteous to the men present," said Mrs Baldwin, "I think that in normal times and in the ordinary way, women are more patriotic than men. I think that it is that feeling of protection—they love something' they can protect —that makes them so. IT you look down the lists of the subscribers to the societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals and children, you will find that the majority are women. They want something to love and something to protect, and we are now given an outlet to protect and love our country, as well as to work for it." FLARES AND FURBELOWS. NEW YORK, Dec. 7. Jean Nnsh, the world's best-dressed woman, says that women are getting away from masculine fashions, ahd swinging back to flares, furbelows, and perhaps bustles. TROFSER SHIRTS COMING SOON, FASHION EDICT. OTTAWA, Nov. 23 Believe it or not the "dupe Culottc," or trouscr skirt, is coming. No less a fashion dictator than Paul Poiret of Paris said so, addressing an audience of women. The hew idea will work a transformation and give nn entitelv new silhouette, he said.

FRENCH WIVES HOLD DOWN JOBS. FORTY PER CENT. OF MARRIED WOMEN N T OW HAVE EMPLOYMENT. PARIS, Nov. 10. About 4(1 per cent, of French married women go out to work for their living, which explains why "detained at the office" is no longer a purely male privilege here.. With the depreciated franc, the fact of the wife going to a job each day has become more and more accepted, so that most girls who marry in France do so with tho expectation that after the honeymoon they will go back to the office, workshop or factory. That, is necessary because the average weekly salary of the young Frenchman is übou.l £4, and insufficient to keep two. Therefore, the young wife who wants to keep herself smartly dressed must earn her "pin money." That is all very well as far as it goes, but it is widely believed that the domestic menage suffers from the new regime. It is said that, as the wife finds many interests and companions apart from her husband, who, in turn, has not the responsibility of hurrying home in case the little woman is lonely, so do young couples driff apart. "The majority of young girls and boys married in Paris don't know what family life really is," declare critics, "and there is no doubt that many of these young wives make the convenient excuse of office work when they want to spend an evening out in company other than their husband's. 11 is certainly a fact thai, because of their separate tics and interests, many young husbands and wives see little of each other—perhaps less than before marriage. "Bachelor wives" and "week-end spouses" are Iho descriptions which the humorous reviews are applying to this n'ew type of young woman. BABY SCHOOLS. A CAREER V. CHILD CA.RE. Modern society's newest "child welfare fad" is the "baby school." These, many of which have sprung up on the outskirts of London, are the outcome of the arrangement by which both the husband and the wife have their separate careers. Beyond Epping Forest, in Essex villages and in Suffolk, these new baby schools exist—'big old houses, most, of them, built for those vast Victorian families of the past. Many of them take children from three months old and arrange to keep them until Ihe time comes for preparatory or board-ing-schools. It seems, on investigation, that there is a need for these schools. The problem of the family when both parents are on the stage, and on tour for a good part of the year, is obviously solved by a good baby school.

But there arc other cases in which the mother has found it kinder to "farm" out her child. The case of widows left with young children is hard. For her the baby school is a blessing. So it is for the young mother whose husband deserts her—a tragedy seldom made public in middleclass life but not as uncommon as it might scent.

The mother and father who are at work all day present another problem. It is impossible to bring up a child on anything but full-time' care and devotion. This the woman with a career cannot give, and the question arises whether the few years of special care she could give the child are worth the sacrifice of work to which, quite probably she has devoted more than half her life and energy. Asked why he did not keep his little son and daughter at home and employ a. good nursery governess for them, a prominent architect, whose wife has made a success of journalistic and publicity work, replied that at first they fried that plan. "But," he said, "somehow it did not work. Eor one thing our own hours were so irregular, and if was like maintaining two establishments, at least so far as expense Went. My wif(! was always worrying, and then she used innocently to break nurse's rules. The children were a bundle of nerves, and it was worse when one or other of us had to go ■away on business.

"Of course, it was ghastly when we first seiit tho children' away. But since we got used to the idea we haven't: had a, day's anxiety. The children really are in more competent hands than ours, and we are saving money to educate them when they get info their teens."

ONE BLINK OF BABE'S EYES SURPASSES ALL PLEASURES OF WEALTH.

TORONTO, Nov. 10

"There is no difference between the life and work of a woman in life's highest station, and that of any other woman with home, work and children," Lady Chamberlain, wife of Sir Austen Chamberlain, Secretary for Foreign Affairs in the British Cabinet, who with his family'is visiting Toronto this week, said in an interview.

"In happiness and influence, any woman with love and a home,, with her husband and children, has as much joy and does just as great a life work as the highest in the land. All pleasures of society, or station, or wealth, I should say, are just nothing to the rapture of your children's laughter, or one blink or your baby's eves," she said.

Lady Chamberlain expressed a wish that if her two sons ''may grow up

to be good, useful men, ij would be her greatest ambition for the future of her sons. '' She dill not want either of them to be as good men as their father or their grandfather had been. "There are more important things than that," she said. "Of course, it is a. hardship and a handicap for boys to have a. father and grandfather so distinguished as theirs. It's hard to keep it up for three generations." she said. OSTRICH FEATHER TRADE TO BEVIYE. LONDON DEALER'S PROPHECY. LONDON, Nov. 12. The depressed condition of tho ostrich feather market in London is shown by the fact that the Port of London authority has accumulated at its warehouses during the past live years nearly £50,000 worth. Nevertheless, a representative of one of the largest linns of dealers in the city states that the trade is on the verge of a revival. A certain amount id' plumes are reappearing on women's hats and are made to lie flat because hats are so small. Uncurled feathers are being used as collars on evening- cloaks and Items on evening frocks. Boas are expected to return in the spring with. the. feathers in an uncurled state. The Assistant Secretary of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds declared that the society is not prejudiced against the ostrich feather industry, and he wished that women •would wear feathers instead of osproys. The Duchess of Portland, president of this society, sent ,'!00 letters to wearers of osproys drawing their attention to the cruelty which is occasioned by collecting these. A FRENCH BOARDING SCHOOL. Can you imagine a French girl of today wearing without protest a frock designed by Napoleon in the days when he was Emperor of France, and yet there are now five hundred girls attending the school established by Napoleon for the daughters of members of the Legion d'Honneur who wear tho long blue frocks, with capes and wide, colored sashes, that Napoleon himself designed and ordered to be worn as long as the school lasted. A Melbourne girl, who has just returned from teaching English in this school, gives an interesting account of the daily routine. Some of the children, she says, vome from the most aristocratic homes of France, others again are the daughters of peasants. Viewed from the point of view of a first-class Australian boarding sends!, there is little comfort in this school, though the French people regard it as a model. The meals, too, seem to be characteristic of those of a hundred odd years ago. Tho children and teachers rise early, and at half-past eight they have a breakfast of chocolate and a piece of bread. Dinner is served at twelve, and includes roast meat served by itself, followed by the vegetable course in French fashion, a .salad or some savory concludes the meal. At four o'clock each afternoon two pupils from each class go down to the kitchen and bring back large loaves of bread. They stand at the door, and as each child leaves the classroom she breaks off a piece of bread. According to the strength of her fingers so is the size of the piece of bread she gets. The last meal is served at six o'clock, and consists of chocolate, followed by potatoes and gravy. Little wonder that the Australian teacher said that site -would ioave starved if she had not boon able to go to Paris two or three times a week anr get a good'meal. Australians, too, would not regard the b:tthing facilities at the school with any great pleasure, for teachers and pupils arc only allowed to have; one hath a fortnight; while, even in the depth of winter, the. children are only allowed to have cold water to wash in the morning. The school is situated in the St. Denis suburb of Paris. It is not a nice neighborhood, and special care is taken to protect the school. Lights go out at half-past, ten, and teachers and pupils must all be within the locked Avails. The school is surrounded by a park and a highjstone wall. At halfpost ten the concierge locks the outer gate and the inner door and lets three great, Alsatian dogs loose in the park. MEN "SCARED" OF WOMEN.' Sybil Thorndike, who is receiving a wonderful welcome in delighted the members of the Btilawayo Women's Institute with a characteristic address. She said: "Women are queer things; they are much more hotheaded than men. We women take up things in a much more enthusiastic way; that is why men are seared of us. I think that is our power; and we have no sense of humor, but we have the other thing, and that is force and driving power. Wo have a great deal to do in life which men would find very difficult indeed —for instance merely being a woman is hard enough." Approving Mr. G. K. Chesterton's phrase that woman is the perfect amateur; she said: "They cannot be specialists as, if they take tip a specialised profession, they are still mothers, housekeepers, cooks, anil a dozen other things. "I myself have often been flattered to hear that people have described me as being a very good mother although an actress. My pride, however, has had a fall. Although such a good mother, I sen!, my young daughter to England without a single hat. Every one had been left behind."

CHILD WELFARE WORK MAY SAVE POLYNESIAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION. SUVA, Nov. 10. An American woman physician is parrying on in the Fiji Islands child welfare work thai has (Mime in tlie ntlonlion of two Governments and received favorablo comment from one of Hie directors of the Rockefeller Foundation. She is Dr. I-cegina Keyos Roberts, wife of the American consul ut Suva. Dr. Roberts was invited by the British Colonial Govern men I to undertake in Suva the same voluntary child welfare work that she had carried on in Sainoii, while her husband was stationed there, the Government agreeing io meet her running expenses. hi order to reap the full benefit of the instruction given at the child health conferences, village committees of native women have been organised to see that the doctor's instructions are followed between visits. To each village is {jiveri a double page in a huge ledger, ("specially printed al the Government printing works, ami every child is entered in this with name, age. sex and date of birth. A complete history of the child's health record, including periodical weighings, is kept until he is two years old. The interest and co-operation of the Fijian women has been n most valuable factor in the success of the work. according to a summary of it issued by the United States Children 's Bureau in a recent bulletin. The Rockefeller Foundation director for the East ha's declared that the work- should be extended through ihe South Sea Islands if the Polynesian race is to be saved. The Governor of the colony, who is promoting the work in every way, will ask the next session of the Legislative Council for Larger appropriations and for the appointment of a select committee Io consider plans for child welfare work in Fiji, which has the sad distinction of having one of the highest death rates known. ENSEMBLE IDEAS. There is a very big business being done everywhere in the smart shops in the popular two and three-piece suit, and in spite of a. very keen competition from the tailor-made, it seems to be the most popular form of dress for all hours of the day (writes '' A Londoner ''). The afternoon two-piece has appeared in a number of forms, for indoor wear, and the most pleasing of these is a. two-piece- in lace and georgette. The coatee is of cire lace, with a Wide basque effect that stands out, and is made of the bice with a horsehair backing aiid n narrow fur edging. This is at its best in n pleasing red cire or beige lace, but there are, other lace suits for indoors, which are charming in dyed fine lace and made with a short coat and lace sleeveless jumper. Then for either bridge parlies or under coat wear there are a number of new coats and skirts in figured crepe de chine and figured satin (which is oven newer) made with short coats, and the jumpers in plain crepe de chine in the tone of the ground of the figured material. Another amusing novelty, but intended for summer wear, is a suit made as a two-piece of figured and black georgette. The top half of the foat and the top half of the dress are both in figured georgette, and the bottom halves in black. It is very smart-looking in a good ekvntrnst.

Another two-piece novelty is n black and pink two-piece in marquisette, made with two short wings over the shoulders, ami it is lined in Iho pink georgette. The frock is in the pink in a pale rose shade, and is mounted on a black slip., which g'lvp au unmistakable look to it. The frock is finished with a double jabot in loose ends, and at the hem is rounded at. each side like a man's shirt". Yet another interesting two-piece was in black satin morocain lined in voile, and made with short jumper in white voile set like a blouse, but With a belt band of the morocain lucked in tiny piping tucks, and finished in front with three diamante buttons instead of a buckle. It was very good and neat-looking. DAXOIXG TX PARIS. "LE NEW SLOW FOX." PARIS, Xov. 10. The slow fox trot, when is exceedingly popular in London, has., just made its appearance in Paris, and is the talk of the dancing world. It is known as "Le Xcw Slow Pox." The "new" dance's not very complicated mysteries were explained at a special demonstration given by the Association of Dance Instructors of Paris.