SENTIMENTAL TWADDLE.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 12772, 25 May 1912, Page 1 (Supplement)

SENTIMENTAL TWADDLE.

"I'm sick to death of all this sentimental twaddle," said the dignified head of the publishing house. He leaned back m his chair and put his feet upon the manuscript of a popular serial. "She loved him so and wore pink chiffon. Bah! How I'd like to spank them both!"

"But the public," said the editor of the magazine, with a twinkle m his tired eyes — "the public does not look at it m thatj-way." "I sometimes wonder how even the patient public stands it," put m the literary conscience of the house. He had a broad ribbon to his glasses, which made him look like a French savant. He also had an. international reputation as a critic. "It's as much as I can do to read the stuff," said the head of another department, a man with a shovel-shaped beard, "but the fool public devours it by the yard." "At any rate, I notice that we keep on publishing it," remarked the head of the educational department, a dried-out, serious person who had a grim sense of his responsibility to the rising generation. < "Yes," said the head of the firm, "or else we couldn't afford to publish things of importance, like that new book of Professor Stansbury's, 'The Economic Aspect of Marriage.' Now, that's worth while. I am proud to have our imprint on such work. But whe will read it? Nobody, escept college professors. The public doesn't want to think; it wants to feel. It doesn't want wholeisome truth; it wants sugar-coated lies." *•

And then the conference broke up, and the various heads of the departments resumed their respective jobs of satisfying the public's taste with a sigh of regret for their. inability to uplift it. While this discussion about sentimental, twaddle was going on m the private office, outside m the main room, crowded with desks arid employees, sat Richard, a bright-cheeked, well-set-up young man of twenty, industriously sorting out the page proofs of Professor Stansbury's epoch-making book upon "The Economic Aspect of Marriage." And near by at a desk almost touching Richard's, with shadowy eyes downcast, sat a pretty typewriter, rapidly out letters to college presidents. Richard and she were not discussing anything. They were merely unimportant cogs m the great machine. But she was an unusually pretty typewriter, with a delicate, transparent -skin, a sweet, wholesome person. She had a great amount of hairj brown m color, yfine m texture, complicated m arrangement. It is to be feared that. she did not make the men m i the office think. But she could not help that. She was as God made her. j

God made her modest withal. She seldom looked up; even when Mr Hawes of the educational department said : "Miss Moore, will you take this dictation, please?" But Richard often looked up, because he, too, was as God made him. *

He looked up as often as three times while the important, conference was taking place m, the private office. He looked up now: And sighed. - *'■■»' * • The window was open and the soft spring came into the publishing officeall the way into the educational' department. .Perhaps the pretty typewriter also felt 'the spring. ' Perhaps she heard the sigh. This much is certain: Quite suddenly, quite unexpectedly she, too, looked up and caught Richard's gaze upon her. Just for a fraction of a .second she held it; just for a fraction of a. second Richard with a choking feeling looked into her shadowy eyes. Then she bent to lier work again, writing letters to college presidents, clicking the keys with a slight sure touch. , And Richard bent to his work again, sorting out tho proofs of "The Economic Aspect of Marriage." But each now had a delicious secret, while they silently worked m the outer room, and the heads of the department's discussed sentimental twaddle m the inner room. The pretty type-j ■writer did not look up again. But she had seen. Sho knew now. • I

Richard did look up again. He, too, had seeh, but he did not know. He only hoped, while his heart thumped so loud that it might almost have been Iheard by the pretty typewriter if she had stopped clicking the keys. But she did riot stop; she worked as if greatly interested m college presidents. .

This was too much, for Richard. He was not interested m. "Tlie Economic Aspect of Marriage." -Recklessly he reached forth and .filched ' ono of the firm's envelopes. -A man cannot stop to think when he is feeling strongly. God had made Richard, a predatory male. It was a stamped envelope with a printed address such as is used to enclose, with letters for reply. On the blank, back he wrote man eager hand : "Wouldn't this be a, fine day for a walk m the park?" And still feeling more than he thought, lie placed it on top of a completed set of $>age proofs which he handed quite calmly tb the pretty Miss Moore. Then he began upon another set of proofs and stopped looking up. But Richard's heart did not stop thumping. • Only the (clicking had stopped. That made the thumping more violent.

Presently a small hand flashed before his industrious eyes and disappeared again, leaving a faint odor, sweeter to Richard "'than the spring, leaving also, upon the page proofs of Professor Stansbury's scholarly work, the envelopeprinted side up. Eagerly he turned it over. There, beneath his own scrawl, m a hand finer, more controlled than his, was written; "It is a fine day." Already the typewriter was clicking again.'

Another balmy breath of spring stole m through the windows. Richard ignored the page proofs before him, for now he was writing literature of his own. I "Will you take a walk with me m the park after work? Please write mo a note just on the machine. Oh, I love you so !" Tliis upon the same envelope, .under her non-committal line, went back to, her now withdut the pretext of page proofs. Richard's love was becoming bolder. While tho pretty typewriter was read* ing. this, Mr Hawes came out from the editorial conference like a dragon from his cave, and said m his dried-up voice : "•Miss Moore, will you take this dictaitwn, please?" He did not observe that Ihis young secretary's delicate cheek way flooded with' a rich crimson. For Mr Hawes wsjdom looked at her, if he could help it, being a good husband, the father of fivo children and the superintendent rii , a Sunday, school m Upper New Jl".ochelle. . M_3 Moore had hurriedly put the envelope to on© side, tnroing up its sober, !bu«inesslU_e face; so tfcafc, despite its

sages upon three perilous journeys, it now looked, as it rested there, precisely liko all its companions, recently arrived from tho printer's.

It was a long letter that Mr Hawes dictated to the lady principal of a college for young women, beginning : "We have great pleasure m sending you by same mail under separate cover the advance sheets of Professor Stansbury's forthcoming book, 'The Economic Aspect of Marriage.' " .The firm valued this lady's expert opinion so highly, it seemed, desired her great influence so much, indeed, that Mr Hawes expressed the hopo that she might care to say something which would help the cause pf introducing this important work to the waiting world. "Inclosed please find addressed stamped envelope for reply.". Delicate truths such as are uncovered ih scholarly works upon "The Economic Aspect of Marriage" cannot be dismissed with a perfunctory sentence or two, when writing to a lady principle. So it was closing time before Miss Moore had finished transcribing Mr Hawe's painfully composed letter ; past closing time, upon a day eminently fine for a walk m the park. Therefore it happened that m her haste, and with a thoughtless lack of interest m the cause of female education, the pretty typewriter, glancing at the clock, snatched tip and inclosed the printed envelope which on one side looked So niuch like the 4999 others and on the reyerse side was so different from all the rest of the envelopes m the world. Richard, as it happened, also worked overtime this afternoon, without extra pay. » •■ * » . * The lady principal did not wear her hair m the same way as the pretty typewriter, but she t°o, it seemed, failed to manifest a proper interest m "The Economic Aspect of Marriage," or, for that matter, m any other aspect. She returned the advance sheets without reading them, and wrote a' brief note to Mr Hawes, marked: "Personal and private. The note said: "Please address all further communications m care of the Board of Trustees." This sho did not inclose m the stamped addressed envelope ; on the contrary, quite tho reverse ; she inclosed the addressed envelope m her brief note.

It was' folded over to hide the pencilled lines, as if to cover a scandal: So Mr Hawes read the curt note first. He was amazed. Never m the history of the dignified firm had its diplomatic overtures been so scorned by female educators. Theri his eye fell upon the folded envelope. He read the brief message. He was more amazed. Never before had his serious department's stationery been put to such uneducational uses. (At least, not to his, knowledge.) Scowling m perplexity, he looked at the handwriting more closely. He raised his eyebrows. _ Then he raised his eyes.\ He looked over at Richard — industriously sorting proofs ; at Miss Moore— modestly writing letters. Neglecting for a moment the cause of education, he kept on looking, and as he looked a hot unpleasant smile spread over Ms dried-out countenance. ....

But this sort of thing would not do. It ought to be stopped. He thoughtfully arose.' He quietly stepped across to where the two young lovers sat, side by side. : He looked down upon them -with a quizzical scowl. Richard looked up inquiringly, grave respect m his handsome young, eyes. The niiddle-aged, man turned away as if he had forgotten somo-i thing. The typewriter kept on clicking.

Mr Hawes rubbed his chin thougntfully, then getting an inspiration, he strode resolutely over to the head of the manufacturing department, a fat, goodnatured fellow. Mr Hawes explained the situation .and exhibited the documents m evidence.

The fat, good-natured man laughed with relish, arose from his chair and peered across at Miss' Moore, at Richard. Then the fat man also smiled thought-, fully, a broad, tolerant smile. • "I don't blame him !" 'he said, chuckling.

"Something ought to be done about it," said Mr Hawes m a low, earnest tone, as though urging a good quality of paper for a new textbook.

"I suppose so," said the latter, still looking and smiling. "Why don't you drop tho boy a hint?"

"Don't you think you'd better do it,'* suggested Mr Hawes. . "He's m your department, you know."

"But the girl is m your depbartment," returned the manufacturer, shaking his head, as if Mr Hawes had been asking for a too expensive grade of paper .

, "But it is out of the question, of course, .to speak to her— -she's a woman, and a very nice, refined young woman, too— l'd rather be shot than let her

know I have this thing m my possession. Besides," he added as a business afterthought, "she would resign. And she is the ' best secretary I ever had, even though she is so young."

"Well, when it comes to that, Richard is the most promising cub I ever broke m, and besides — I couldn't do it. Wh£, Hawes, I've got a boy of my own about that age."

Again the two middle-aged men glanced furtively across at the two young lovers. "Look !" whispered Hawes, "there goes another note!" "I'll bet Richard made her take that walk with him, all right," said Richard's boss, and he said it rather proudly.

"I'll: bet he didn't!" returned Miss Moore's employer, and he said it quite emphatically. "Why, she wouldn't look at a mere boy of twenty." "She wouldn't, eh? Humph! That depends upon the boy. Richard has a way with him." "But you don't know Miss Moore.". "Well, do you?" •■•• • ■ • When it came to that Mr Hawe's couldn't say that ho did, so they both laughed, arid, still m the manner of discussing the price of paper they watched m silence for a moment, wondering whether another note would pass. Noth* ing happened. It seemed to disappoint them, somewhat as long, stupid descriptions disappoint the readers of sentimental twaddle, perhaps Richard was arranging proofs m a dashing domineering manner, every inch a man. Miss Moore was typewriting incisively, obliviously, every touch scornfully femin. ins. "What did I tell you?" whispered tho hend of the educational departures nodding his bald head triumphantly. "She's not m the least interested m your boy."

"Humph ! That doesn't mean anytiling. They've simply had a little tiff. They'll make it ■up."

The two fober men considered thf possibility for a moment. They won iered juft what the tiff was about, though they didn't say so.

"Here, I've g,ot to get to work," said fcho fat one. .

"So have I," said the thin one, "but what shall wg do about this thin^l"

They finally decided to speak to the advertising manager, who was supposed by ix>ason of his. calling to have great tact and no reticence. Resides, he was a bachelor and had no boys of his own to think about. Tho advertising man perked up with interest. "Which girl is it?" he asked. know. ' » »■• » » He knew — all the men knew — but he tiptoed out and took a good look, as ii to refresh his memory. "Well, Dick picked out a pretty one, eh, what?" He smiled reflectively. "A peach," he said — "with the bloom still on."

"But we can't have this sort of thing going on, you know. "It's innocent enough, but it won't do. . Now the boy is m your regiment and you know him better than wo . do-, would you mind dropping him a little hint, like a good fellow? 'He'd take it better from you."

"Sure," said the expert m tact, and being a man of decision, he started brazenly down the aisle of desks, his businesslike glance shifting from Richard, to Miss Moore and from Miss Moore to Richard, as they 'sat there side by side, working industriously, young eyes downcast. The advertising manager stopped by Richard's desk. The boy kept, on working for a moment, then, looking up abstractedly, ho saw that it was his captain. A boyish smile and a tinge of color came into - his- face, a look of respectful admiration for the popular officer.

"Dick, don't forget, this is • drill night," said the. captain, dropping his eyes, and then he passed on as if m a great hurry.

"Well," he said to Mr Hawes, "you didn't expect me to speak to him about such a thing m business hours, did you? With the girl right ...there beside him and all that? I was just looking the ground over.' Now, to-night I'll let him walk home, from the armory with me, then I'll put him wise. By the way, how long has this thing been going on? Tell me all about it.."

The head of the educational department told all : he knew, prompted occasionally by the head of the manufacturing department.

The next morning Mr Hawes asked eagerly: "How did the boy take it?"

"Take what?— -Oh, that matter. Well, somehow it didn't seem to come m very pat," answered the man who was supposed to havo no .reticence. "I'll tell you, let's put it up to Henderson ; he got the boy- his job here and ought to bo held responsible for "him. I shouldn't mind butting irt on the President of the Uriited States if -there was a page a f advertising m it, but somehow this, is different." .' '

Henderson, the manager of the art department, also decided to look the ! ground over. "An unusually attractive type," he said authoritatively ; "several of bur illustrators have asked me who she was." "Yes, • Richard seems to find her attractive," said the manufacturer, chuckling. "Too much so for the discipline of the office. His parents. are friends of yours, I believe; suppose you call him OC." ■ ■ , ■ , "I ! Why, I've known that boy ever since he was m his baby carriage ! It would hardly do for me to speak to him ! I'd never dare look him m the face againl" "Well, somebody's got to do it," said Hawes. ■'■'•' -'"'».' •■ *' ' '■'*■ •-•■■' The art manager, smiled sympathetically, but shook his" well-shaped hoad. "Put it up to the old man," he said with artistic aloofness. "I'd rather resign." The head of the firm was even' more emphatically of the opinion that the. affair would have to stop. "We are here j to publish books,": he said as usual, and added with a : smile : "Hawes, ' you oughtn't to have such a pretty secre- 1 tary.".

'But she can't help being pretty ; we couldn't dismiss he^ for that." •

"Well, then," turning to Richard's boss, "you oughtn't- to have such attractive young assistants, We, are hero, to publish books." ■<'■' ■'.■.'.

"But we couldn't dismiss. Richard for that— he can't help it either."

„ ''Well, you don't expect me to apeak to these young persons, do you?" asked the dignified president of the company. "You gentlemen haye full control of your respective departments— and full responsibility, too. That is the policy of the house. It would not do for me to— to — ' er— butt m." There was a pause. "I*ll tell you what to/ do," he said with his well-known resourcefulness.; ."it's? lunch time'; take your, good -footing boy out, feed him up, talk to him like a Dutch uncle and settle, 1 tho matter with a few, broad . generalisations • without mentioning any of tho persons referred to. That will fix it all right."

The fat manufacturer ; shrugged his shoulders.

But Richard had a riiemorable. meal that day, for his host knew how to order other things than paper, and for some reason or other,- $he manufacturer was becoming fond of the boy. Richard felt honored at this unprecedented mark of favor . 7 ■ .'.' ''.'"-..;■•' * * ■ .'■'•* * •'■ The older man began talking to the youngster like a Dutch unch? — about the plans for the fall -publications. Richard felt that ho was;,coming on m the publishing world. ;£t a- near-by table sat the dignified president of . the firm, its distinguished secretary, its exquisite literary conscience, • and the famous editor of the magazine.' Several times Richard found them looking oyer m his direction m an interested mariner, as though they, dtoo, thought he must be coming on m the publishing world. Richard felt proud and appreciated.

. At. the end of the' luxurious luncheon, on the way out of tho room, his host was stopped by the dignified group at the adjoining table, as though they desired his opinion of Saint-Beuve or the influence of Nietzsche upon Ibsen. "Well, ..what did our young Don Juan say?" asked tho literary conscience of the house, the one who looked like a French savant.

"Ho says he thinks the Giants will win the series," answered Richard's boss soberly.

"Didn't you tell him?" asked several of them ationce.; laughing. They had been betting he wouldn't.

"I told . him :ho was a good boy arid doing we'll. When I got that far ho told me that if such were the ease he thought he deserved a rise !" and then Richard's boss hurried out of the room after him to escnpa tho derisive laughter.

A little later a. well-known noet esltec 1 at the ofllc« to see the head of the firm. Tho publisher's private • seoretary requested/the poet to wait, saying that the chief had just returned from lunch and was somewhere m the building. The secretary found hiria m the educational department, glancing thoughtfully at Mr

Hawe's secretary, who was busily typewriting with modest ryes downcast.

He seemed, rather startled when addressed, and, being startled, he looked about to see if anyone had noticed it, for he was a very dignified man. 'In various parts of the crowded floor ho discovered all the distinguished group with wiioni he had lunched. Some of them now began looking ipto tho files cf clippings, others turned a*.vr.y as if m a hurry to get tb work.

But he blocked them. "Step into my room a moment," he said, bestowing upon each m turn a stern glare. Some of them returned the stern glare, others smiled sheepishly, ono of them laughed outright. To' 1«3 secretary tho head of the firm said : "Ask that caller please to wait." "Yes, sir. Professor Stansbury is here too." - "Ask him to wait also. Tell them we are holding a very important conference. "The question before us," began the head of the firm to the intellectual lights now assembled m his private office, while the two famous authors were cooling their heels m the reception room, "is what to do about Richard. I don't see why old, dignified fathers of families like you take so: much interest m all this sentimental twaddle." At this point the editor of the magazine burst out laughing. He had seen the head of the firm for two minutes before . the latter had caught the others at it/ i

"This thing is becoming serious," said the head' of the firm gravely. "Out there m the mail room the clerks and typewriters have probably noticed your grin-' ning, sentimental faces. No doubt they are beginning to grin about it, too. The story will spread throughout the other floors. Soon we'll have the whole establishment down here watching Richard and his pretty typewriter:. We are here to publish books. This thing has got to stop. Who will volunteer to stop it?" .

There was a dead silence, broken only by chuckling laughter. "You're all afraid," said the head of the firm. "You're afraid of a boy and a girl." He looked .about at the group of amused self-conscious faces. "And so am I," he added. At this ,• point the .desk telephone buzzed. me while I answer this. . .. ..' Who?" he said irito the receiver. The famous publisher's face flushed. "Well, if it's so very' important come m at once." Then hanging up the receiver, "Gentlemen, Richard is coming m." "What!" the others exclaimed. ' "Why shouldn't he join. -this conference? I should like to know who has a better-right!" said the publisher, but he smiled nervously. - ■„ • The others had arisen to leave. "I told you you were all-^a. lot of cowards," said the head q! tlie firm." He has probably caught you (or me) staring at Miss Moore and. is coming mto protest. I don't blame, him — but why. do you all desert me !";' ;■■ As Richard came m- those departing avoided his eyes. Richard seemed grave and determined, a grown man facing a crisis. "You may think it odd, my bringing this matter before you, sir," he, began, looking respectfully, but almost defiantly, altogether steadily irito the publisher's eyes — which, strangely enough, seemed more inclined to blink than those of his young employee-r-"but I did not want, to leave your employ without an explanation, Sooner.on later I am bprind^to. "be a valu-. able man m this business: and I admire you so much and what your firm stands for—" '- ;_.. . 7 .-'■ "I am .glad you approve of '.-.us',"- ■ interrupted the great publisher ', somewhat amused and yet rather taken aback by tho engaging self-confidence of this healthy young man. Older employees than Richard had been known to lalk and tremble wheri m this holy of holies. "I am sincerely sorry if anything has happened to make you feel like leaving us." It was not a daily occurrence for tho head of the firm to apologise to one of its younger clerks, but the head* f the firm was a gentleman. "I want to assure j'ou that it was quite unintentional." „!'■.. , . . .

"Unintentional!" exclaimed . Richard, with, h' s captivating blend of respect and self-respect. "I don't see how it could have been unintentional exactly." Richard, not m the ,least embarrassed, searched tlie embarrassed eyes of the august president of the company. . "He distinctly told me that there wasn't the' slightest chance of my getting another rise for a year j and' I cannot wait that long. - 1 am engaged to be married, fir."

"Oh," said the ■ publisher, suddenly arising to look out of the windowi "I'm afraid I did not understand." ,

"No, sir, it isn't announced yet," enid Richard with great; dignity, "and, X i?:nst ask you, sir, if you do not mind,! to re-' a;ard: this as a confidence. No one has the remotest suspicion pf it." ■ The publisher, who had been gating out of the window, now turned around. "Sit down, Richard," he said. t ■■■•■• \y A few minutes later Richard issued forth, lobking. as masterful and triumphant as the historic Richard of the I.i< >r Heart, and then the publisher summoned his private secretary to show 'm the poet. "He has gone, sir" "So thb poet has gone?" The publisher looked up with a curious smile upon his usually impassive face.

"Then bring -m the author of The Economic Aspect of Marriage,'" he Raid.