LOCAL AND GENERAL

Patea Mail, Volume XLVIII, 29 May 1925, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL

They wore sitting in the barracks, swajip ng yarns. '-'Ever hear this one?" a deed one of the group. "A clog was tied to a rope .14 feet long. Twenty feet away was a fat, juicy bone. How Cid the dog get to the bone?" "Oh, chalk old stuff, ’’ answered one of the Marines. "You want some bird to say, ■I gue it up,’ and then you’ll say, That’s what the other dog did. ’’ ’ “Ho, you’re wrong, for the dog got the .yono." "Well, how did he get it?’’ "Wiiy, the other end of the rope wasn't tied to anything!’’

The bull to be held in the Town Hall, L’atea, on Tuesday, Kith June, promises .o be above the a\erago, as the programme will include several novel ■■y\ cuts. Special lighting and colour ■.'ii’ect.? are being arranged for, and followers of the light fantastic will be created to an enjoyable evening’s amusement. The music will be provided by the popular " Serenaucrs ’ ’ Orchestra.

"During the 11)1(1 epidemic of infantile paralysis there was a total of Dot) cases in the Dominion,’’ stated the Medical Ollicer of Health in Auckland, Dr. T. J. Hughes. "Auckland had 544, Wellington , o-10, Canterbury 54, and Otago 22. During this epidemic there were sporadic cases until the end of May. We expect the same thing to happen this ’ time, and I- fully expect ihat there will bo occasional cases until the end of this month. The month of June should be free from the disease.’’

The London "Daily Telegraph’s" diplomatic correspondent understands chat Dominion circles are surprised that the ITanco-.British negotiations with Germany regarding security proposals nave not yet been rornially submitted Co the Dominion Governments. The explanation is that the German proposals are vague and tentative, and the views of the Dominions need not be .sought unt : l the negotiations have reached a concrete stage.

Tho Acting Minister for Finance in Canada is bringing down legislation authorising the raising of loans totalling I(j-t million dollars for tho purpose of paying for, redeeming or otherwise retiring the whole or any portion of the loans and other obligations of Canada and for public works am! general purposes. For Childrenil'acking vJough, "Woods’ Great Peppermint Cure

Returning sportsman: “Killed anything 1 !' ’ His friend: “Not a thing! Wish I’d gone motoring now!”

“Take care of your teeth,’ 'says an advertisement. Wo have nothing but scorn for the careless person who leaves them smiling inanely in the bathroom.

“Sausages always keep mo awake at night.’’ “They do not trouble me—it’s the cats that keep me awake.’’ “I never eat cats! ”

The Paten Amateur Athletic Club will hold their first annual ball in the Town Hall on Thursday, June IGth. Special efforts are being made to ensure a •successful function.

“The Welsh seldom say what they don’t mean,’’ remarked a writer. They realise what a long task it would be if it were necessary to cat their own words. ’ ’

A bachelor, in sending his weekly bundle of washing to the- laundry, enclosed a note: 1 ‘ Please darn socks, and debit.” When the washing was returned, the socks were found to be darned, but underneath the note was written: 1 ‘ loony. We found no debit in your parcel!' ’

The district visitor was sympathising with a shopkeeper who had just lost ner husband. “I’m sure, Mrs Giggs,” she said, “you miss him very much.” “Well, m’m,” said the bereaved, “it certainly do seem strange to go into the shop and find something in the till.”

xlu “eating competition” was organised in a mining town in the North of England. One competitor, a giant collier, six feet in height and broad in proportion, succeeded in disposing of a leg of mutton, a plentiful supply of vegetables and a plum pudding, washed down with copious draughts of ale. He was unanimously declared the winner, and was being triumphantly escorted homo, when he turned to his admirers and said: “Eh, lads, say don't heo say now’t of this to my old woman, or she won't gic me no dinner!''

The Patca Plunkct Society Commit tee are holding a social afternoon and baby competition in St. George’s School room this afternoon, at 2 o'clock, the function having been postponed from last Friday. It is expected that there will be a good attendancce of ladies present at the schoolroom this afternoon. Separate classes are being formed for girls and boys up to six months, 12 months and 18 months, respectively.

Within the last few weeks there have been three big diamond robberies in Sydney, the value of the property taken being about £2500. The minds of ■ the police have been exercised as to the possibility of there being a gang of clever crooks who arc working quietly and effectively, and concentrating their efforts entirely on the stealing of gems. A big motor car, the brakes of which were believed to have been released by children, ran down a steep incline in Cogee, Sydney, recently, swerved across the road and a footpath, crashed through a fence, and bumping the side of a residence, forced in the wall of a bedroom. Fortunately, no one was injured. The damage was estimated at close on £IOO.

Fair men and brave women still exist. A message from Alfred (Maine) says that Waldek Zyszko, the heavyweight wrestler, has been granted a divorce from his wife, on the grounds that she treated him crueliy and abusively. Mine. Zyszko is loss than five feet in height and weighs under seven stone. During the last visit of the American Fleet, one of the sailors informed a newspaper representative—(they were discussing the ethics of feminine rule) —-that “My father is six feet three and my mother is live feet two, and she can pin him agin the wall." International sympathy, having due regard for Mr Zyszko’s calling, may rest with his cause, but respect is certainly due to the lady.