WJNNING A HUSBAND IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Pahiatua Herald, Volume XII, Issue 2374, 2 June 1906, Page 7

WJNNING A HUSBAND IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

By Marion H. Wallace.

Jake Stout jogged along the dusty country road on his old gray mare. The sun was hot and he frequently mopped his face with a great red handkerchief.

A little bundle tied up in another gorgeous bandanna hung across the pommel of his saddle. Ho wore cowhide boots, and bis coat, minus buttons, was held together by a cord which approached dangerously near the dimensions of rope. His strange dress was a matter of course, for his saddlebags were well filled with greenbacks, for which lie expected to get many a bargain in the shape of fat, sleek heifers and well-fed slioats.

His reputation always preceded him. He was known as a queer but kindly old shrewd in business matters, but utterly unsophisticated in all things else. Many a laugh was had at his exjiense in his absence, but he generally commanded grim respect at close range. Although outwardly stolid, Jake was secretly pleased with the deference shown him, never suspecting that it was a tribute to his money rather than his personality. As the servility of those he dealt with increased proportionately with his wealth he had begun to swell with pride and importance. He had gone down to the river counties to buy stock, and, true to the instincts of a cattle buyer, hungered for the latest market reports. One day while rounding up some cattle along the river bank, he saw a boat in the middle of the stream. Ho hailed it. beckoning it to approach, and it soon came alongside and ran out its plank. “ Come aboard.” yelled the impatient captain. He had stopped, as was the custom in those pioneer days, to take on passengers at several out of the way places, and was a full day behind time on his run. Jake stood immovable.

“ Come aboard, I sav.” repeated the captain, accentuating the invitation by an oath.

“ r don’t want to come aboard,” replied the stolid Jake, his feet firmly planted where he stood. “ What in thunder do you want, then?” roared the enraged captain, “ I want to know what fat’s worth in St. Louis,” was the calm reply, whereupon the captain’s entire vocabulary of choice oaths and imprecations was hurled at the enterprising cattle buyer. As the little l>oat, puffing and panting. backed off, Jako shouted: ‘•All right; it’s your turn now , but just let me ever ketch you and your ole boat up at Snaghook and I'll give you blazes.” As Snaghook was several miles inland. this was greeted with a loud guffaw from the deck hands and captain alike.

It was all lost upon Jake, however, who in righteous indignation stalked towards his horse, mentally consigning the unobliging captain to parts unknown and still wondering about the price of fat. Another time lie bought up all Mio cattle for miles round and started to drive them to St. Louis. The news spread ahead of him, and as Jake’s drovers neared town, the market, which had been high, suddenly and mysteriously dropped. There was much secret exultation, for the prosperous man lias enemies in country districts as well as on Wall-street: blit Jake also bad friends, and the news of the market reached him. He immediately stopped, stationed buyers on every road entering the town, and bought every animal travelling cityward. Very soon the market was stronger than it had las’ll for years. Then he unloaded, reaping a fortune, much to the chagrin of those who had planned his ruin.

On this summer day, however, as ho toiled uj> olio clay hill and down another, no such trifles disturbed him. Mo had weightier matters consider. Ilis sister, who had heon his housekeeper for many years, had left him. Ilis big house was lonely and ho must (ill her place. Mow could he do it p Mo ransacked his hrain for plans, hut could hit upon none that was satisfactory. Suddenly an idea struck him. ITo pulled up short, and his hlue eyes twinkled as lie exclaimed: “Hy .jacks, I have it! I’ll git married." Then, the problem solved, ho rode on. Mill here was fresh trouble. Whom could ho marry? Kor numerous spinsters and widows had looked longingly at the big house on the hill, surrounded by its hundreds of broad, tillable acres; hut their charms had failed to impress its owner. “ Never mind,” he soliloquised. ‘‘l II find some one; hut she must he small and spry.” Me lapsed into silence, .soon to break out again: ‘‘Women are funnv critters, though. Some of them do reive you; if I could only lest her nforehund now.” Ilis test would he to demonstrate her ability as a cook, for .Take at

tended hurriedly but well to the wants of the inner man. But to cook well was not enough. In his eye it was a besetting sin to be slow in preparing a meal. Any woman who had this fatal defect could never hope to rule over the heart and moneybags of Jake Stout. With a quick jerk he again brought his horse to a standstill. He seemed puzzled. Surely he had forgotten something—but, what? Ho examined his bundle. It was secure. H e even dismounted and inspected the saddlebags, but could find nothing wrong. Suddenly he realised what was lacking. It was his dinner. Here it was nearing three o’clock and he had not tasted a morsel since four in the morning. About a mile distant he saw a small house, and in a short time he reached it the home evidently of poor farmers, but the dooryard was neat and well kept and smoke was coming out of the chimney. This augured well for something to eat, so he dismounted and tied his horse. An old man on the porch watched him curiously as he came up the gravel path. They were off the main road and visitors were few. Ho had been dreading for days one man could this be he? Tears came to the old man’s eyes as he rose, trembling, to meet the strnger. “Howdy,” said Jake. “Could I git a bite of dinner and some feed for my horse?”

“ I dunno,” was the reply, in a dazed kind of way. “ The old woman is sick and Samanthy is puttin’ out the washing” Then raising his quavering old voice, lie called,

“ Samanthy, Samanthy, come ’ere." A woman wlio liad reached that uncertain age when she is no longer young, yet considers it an insult to he called old, soon appeared. She was not prepossessing, being tall, thin, and angular. Her face was freckled, and her eyes were small and close together. Her hair was thin, wiry, and of that peculiar sandy colour which seems to match the face and give it an appearance of baldness. Neat, thrifty, and energetic she certainly was, and her parents, as well as many neighbours, could have attested her goodness of heart : hut these were virtues and the rural youths of the neighbourhood. in their search for wives, had passed her by. ears before she had accumulated the necessary dishes, linen, and bedding to begin housekeeping, but never having the opportunity to use them she had resignedly laid them away with all her hearthungry hopes—and devoted herself to her aged parents. As the years passed her tone became a little sharper and her face more set and stern. Her voice was unpleasantly shrill as she replied. “ Well, father, what is it you want me to do?" Here is a man wants his dinner. Kin you get it right away while his Horse is feeding?” “Yes. if he can do without meat. We have none unless I kill a chicken.”

Jake moved uneasily in his seat, j His mouth watered for chicken, but habit had made him a miser in regard to time spent at meals, so he said. “ No. T don’t want it unless I kin get it quick. .list give mo a snatch of anything handy.” ) The two men started to feed the j horse, and Samantha returned to the j kitchen. In fifteen minutes she call- | ed Jake to his dinner. This did not I surprise him, but when be saw chicken i fried crisp and brown lie gasped am! held up bis bands in astonishment. “ You didn t kill and cook that j chicken in fifti'on minutes?” “ Y’es,” was the blunt answer. “Are yon married?” he asked. “ No,” came in a sharper tone. “Would you like to git married?” I be continued. Samantha’s small eyes for once grew large, but. keenly alive to the main chance, she stammered out. “ Y’os.” “Well, then.” *ud Jake, “ ef you kin git ready as quick ns you cooked this chicken, you can git on the horse behind me and we'll go over to I’lankville and liev the justice tie the knot." “ But," said the excited Samantha. “ T couldn’t leave father and mother. They have no one in the world to take rare of them but me." “ Never mind that.” was the cheerful reply. “ We'll take care of the old folks. I sillers liked old peopb . anyhow." As she started to leave the room he said: “ You ain't very putty, but I never went mueb on looks, no how. I've been looking for a smart, peart woman, and you seem to fill the bill; so git ready while 1 eat a bite." Samantha needed no second bidding. and sunn she was mounted behind her future lord and master, feeling considerably elated that she had distanced all other women by winning a husband in fifteen minutes. But she bad yet to learn the value of her prize. “ Farm and . Fireside.”