Wellington Jottings.

Pahiatua Herald, Volume II, Issue 115, 23 February 1894, Page 3

Wellington Jottings.

(From oar own Correspondent)

PUZZLED. A friend of mins, a distant relative of Anania«'s, tells me tho following storv auenl a local train :—A geutlemau of birtli and education stimulated his system, not wisely, but too well, And. in consequence, was very shaky on hi* “ pins.'* He ventured on to the frout platform of a tram. The night was dark aud wet. AU was right till the tram got fairly going, and, being of the sea on-land' make, was very jerky. The car had uot gone very far when the gentleman of birth and education suddenly lost his balance and disappeared overboard. The conductor olew bis whistle, aud iu an instant tho norses were pulled to a standstill. In the rear a human form could be seen Htruggling on the ground, and the oonductor ran to his as-istance, thinking to find the mangled remain* of the unfortunate man. But not ho. The gentleman by birth and education had regained his feet and the following dialogue ensued: (Hie.) “A collision?" “No." (Hie.) “A capsize?" “No." (Hie.) “A wheel come off?" “ No." (Hie.) “ What did I get off for ?" MISTOOK A CHURCH FOR A PUB. On Saturday last another stimulated iu dividual made a foolish miHtakc. He entered St. Paul's Cathedral and gave a performance thereiu, several persons being in the church at the time. He meandered about, but the way out of the Cathedral was too much for him, and he lay down in one of the pews and fell asleep. The police arrived, and were kind enough to convey him to their refuge, where he had Sunday dinner. R.M. Martin, however, charged him five shillings next day, and threatened to detain him longer if he did not pay it. The dietary scale of the refugo not suiting his palate he handed over a crown to the Crown. JOEY ST. CLAIR. 1 hat energetic little showman Joi-y St. Clair, deserve* the thanks of the playgoing public of New Zealand, lie is constantly concocting seme idea to run a novelty show or other entertainment that will suit the people, ard no barrier stands in his way, if so lie easily surmounts it, and pushes onward. One week we hear of him in Australia, the next in New Zealand, and the next in Australia again, and so on all through the year. He is jver on the w itch for orig.nal txlent, and now is running Frank Clark's Variety Company throughout the colony. It is a strong combination and includes the very best artists procurable ou the other side What a pity first-class companies prefer to run the four centres and then depart. It would certainly pay a variety company such as this one to take a dying lour through country districts, for they have not tho props to carry with them as the Bland Holt and Brough and Boucicault Dramatic Companies. A POTPOURI OF MUSICIANS. Musicians arc a jealous and crotchetty lot of individual:. They seldom pull the same way. The higher up in the profes sion the worse they become. Not to be wondered at considering that one branch of their study teaches them discords and harsh intervals, and to sparingly use concords. It become* a part of their nature and nature will out. But the discords and harsh intervals have I been resolved, the Wellington musicians have modulated successfully ! through them, until they have simultaneously struck a concord—th* oral pio*. hav e met in un on, a lddocuh <1 to give us a musical festival—and Mr It. Barker ha* been appointed chairman. The “ Creation " “ Golden Legend," Ac. is whispered, and with the help f such combined and able musicians soi ething grand should eventuate. There is plenty of musical talent in Wellington, not iu any local musical society, and willing to become members if asked. Unfortunately, a social barrier exist* here, which greatly mars the efficiency of our orchestra* and choruses and singers. Let our professors shake hands of fraternal friendship, and with a will work together, one society helping the other, and then they will not have cause to complain of tiie meagre support accorded by the public. poor fellow. He was a tourist. Just out from Eng land, don't-cher-know. Wore a fore-and-aftei. belted jacket, and knicker. and exposed a beardless sunburnt face. He was a sight seer and felt curious concerning our gaols. He applied and obtained a permit to inspect that noble institution - the gaol. A cab conveyed him to it. To an official he handed the note, and that functionary called a newly-appointed warder. “ Show this man to the cells," he said, and the warder, thinking the tourist had come to stay, yelled. “Step this way." The tourist did as be whs bid, and followed his supposed guide through a corridor to a bathroom. When inside the warder locked the door, and gave an order to the tourist to “ strip off." “ What do you mean? “questioned the tourist. “ Strip ofl’yer togs, and don’t axe inv more answers. All prisoners must ave h bath." “But I• 1 • I!" “ bhtrip oft' yer tog*, will ye. Yor’ll make me mad. I’ll - and none o yer nonsense," and the warder became impatient, kept continually yelling, and soon had the tourist naked. Iu vain the latter tried to explain, but of no use. He had to have that cold dip. When he had had it, the warder produced a suit of broad arrow*! Great bcott! The tourist stood dumfounded, speechless, exasperated. ; Could be explain ? Ye*, yes, he would. ; With a mighty deep \oici the new chum i howled to the wardur his real position, j and hi* presence in the gaol. Tiie warder i looked aghast. He realised his mistake ; and apologised. Hastily he helped his ( victim to dress, and prov ed himself to be I —to the tourist—a most obliging guide, for he showed him every nook and corner 'in the gaol. PONEKE.