DIANA OF THE DESK.

Otago Witness, Issue 3994, 30 September 1930, Page 63

DIANA OF THE DESK.

Tiiere are few more annoying people than Diana of the desk —the girl who habitually “ vamps ” the boss. Most large offices contain at least one of this type, and the amount of mischief she can do is incalculable. It does not matter whether the man is brutal or gentle, reserved or talkative, Diana of the desk will hunt him by day —and, only too often, haunt him oy night. If he is curt, she will profess to adore his cave-man methods; if easygoing, she will call him “ a perfect dear —so understanding, j’ou know.” People around who do not know Diana will perhaps laugh a little at her sudden infatuation ;i but those who do know her will wonder if the affair will go through without any serious unpleasantness for the rest of the staff, and without matters being too difficult while it lasts. They know that Diaua is calculating the cash value of the lunches and dinners she can get; and to ensure this result it is necessary for her to place obstacles in the way of her colleagues in case their confidences with the “ old man ” may upset her spells.

While it lasts, Diana is for ever at the boss's elbow. On the plea of helping him. even at sacrifice to herself, she will run, fetch, and carry all sorts of papers he doesn’t want; give opinions of everything he doesn’t want to hear; poke her small nose into every matter that comes before him; listen to his telephone conversations; discuss his wife with him (some girls arc callous enough and some men weak enough for this to happen', and deluge him with aspirins, hot milk, tea, and all sorts of attentions for the sake of his health.

She likes nothing better than to be asked to stay a little late to get something finished. She will then stick about fci hours getting as little, done as possible, talking most of the time, until the man, secretly bored with the whole business, suggests going out to dinner as a break in the monotony —which, of course, is exactly what Diana has been waiting for. A man was found at his office one Sunday by a friend, who expressed surprise at the fact. “ I'd rather come in on Sunday and clear up than stay late during the week,” said the business man —“ not that I like working on Sunday, but I can get on faster if I am not wondering whether I must take my secretary out to dinner.”

Meanwhile the rest of the staff has a trying time. It is difficult to consult the chief even upon the most personal' of matters because Diana is almost certain to be there. She will discuss the details of everyone’s work, ways, And manners with the chief, and then come out with ah air of authority to comment upon such matters to the staff at large. Under such conditions discipline, slackness, and a well-running concern is rapidly demoralised.

Of course, it ends sooner or later. Probably there is a grand row and Diana

leaves—to practise her hunting skill elsewhere. The weary chief is left to the task of reorganising his work and restoring the confidence of his staff.

Also, it ends at some time or another for Diana; and too often she finds that, after all her efforts, she is left on the shelf. No one wants an inveterate schemer; and, from being a person of undoubted attractions, Diana gradually loses her looks and her vivacity and degenerates into an unattractive and “ vinegary ” old maid. There is only one way to deal with Diana, and that is to be firm to the point of severity. A shrewd business chief once checked her activities. “ Miss Pothook,” he reminded her, “ you are here as a personal secretary—not as a companion or a waitress. You have four times to-day intervened in- my conversation, and now you bring me an unnecessary cup of tea. Take it away; and for the future I forbid you to bring into this room anything but your pencil ami notebook and such papers as I require, for which I will ask.” Diana left at the end of the week, airl peace reigned.—Glasgow Weekly Hcraid.