Editor's Wallet

Otago Witness, Issue 3861, 13 March 1928, Page 83

Editor's Wallet

THE PINE-WOOD. The pine-wood’s keeping a heart so chilly Dark on the glittering blue In the full summer of rose and lily Hers is the dusk and dew. High in the blue the noon sun’s burning, The sea’s glaring, unkind— Here in the pines is the cool of morning, Deep shadow and a fresh wind. Her heart, so cold in the blaze of summer, Ts white fire, for she knows The days are bringing the north wind’s rumour Of icebergs and the snows. When the world is frozen and life departed She knows the bliss that will be. The snow, her lover, coming full-hearted Over land and sea. The pine-wood dreams of the snow, her lover: Dreams —she trembled and sighed; They shall clasp, they shall kiss, where none discover Bridegroom and bride. —Katharine Tynan, in Double Dealer. A POOR GUIDE. A number of boys playing marbles were interrupted d>y a minister, who inquired: “ Will you tell me where the post is? ” W “ Yes, sir; we’ll show you,” they replied. After leading the minister to the post office, he thanked them and said: Now, if you will come to Sunday school next Sunday, I’ll show you the way to heaven.” “Go on! ” said one little chap. “You didn’t even know the way to the post office.” A MUSICAL HEAD. When, 15 years old, Alexander Mackenzie, the musician, found himself in London, his hair was long. It tumbled over his checked shawl and pork-pie hat. This impressed London, but annoyed the boy, who went to the nearest barber’s ■shop, where the offending mane was cut off. His aunt;- we are told in Mackenzie’s life story, “A Musician’s Narrative,” who visited him next day in his room, exclaimed on seeing him: “ Boy, what a head of hair! ” to which the parlourmaid added, “ Oh, mum, you ■should ’a seen ’im yesterday! ” The young musician’s quick wit was shown when he found himself quite unprepared for an examination in piano playing. It was impossible fox- him to find time for adequate study. However, the examination came, and Mackenzie had to make a start. “ I boldly began to improvise, starting off in A minor and taking care to end in the same key. George Macfarren, the only examiner who spoke, startled me by asking the name of the piece. May Heaven forgivethe answer!—‘An Impromptu by Schubert.’ I was not surprised when G. A. M. informed me that he was unacquainted with ‘that one,’ but I realised what the consequences would be if a repetition were demanded! But to my intense relief nothing more was said, and a cheeky ■ boy made a rapid exit from the room. The fact that a good deal of Schubert’s piano music was not yet well known in England, and that I might perhaps have learned the piece in Germany, may possibly have prevented the lynx-eared Macfarren from pursuing further inquiry. Nevertheless, I have never ceased to wonder at my escape, and would certainly not advise any student to run a ■similar risk to-day.” FRIEND O’ MINE. "Who can pen a fairer phrase? Friend o’ mine! This goes ringing through the days! Friend o’ mine! Whether skies be grey oi- blue, 1 Good or bad the work I do, Still I know one heart is true, Friend o’ mine! It is all that need be said: • Friend o’ mine! Here is life’s achievement read: Friend o’ mine! Fame may come and fame may go, Fair or foul the winds may blow, But one lasting joy I’ll know, Friend o’ mine! You have naught you want to sell, Friend o’ mine; Nothing cheap you want to tell, Friend o’ mine! We have walked the world, and can, scheming fox- a plan. Walking. laughing, man to man, W Friend o’ mine! I can bare ray soul to you, Friend o’ mine; • Tell my joys and sorrows, too, Friend o’ mine. Though I know- at times you see How much better I could be, Still yoxx keep your faith in me, Friend o’ mine. — Edgar A. Guest, in’ an exchange. A SATISFYING ANSWER. She was a very nervous old lady, and rt was many- $ long year since slie had travelled on board ship. On the first day of the voyage, as she sat at the captain’s table fox- dinner, she turned to that splendidly uniformed gentleman and humbly inquired: “ What would happen if the ship whs to stnk e an iceberg whilst plunging through a thick fog. captain? ” The captain snorted. “ The iceberg would move right along as if notßing had happened, madam,” he replied courteously. And the old lady was greatly relieved.

JACK OF ALL TRADES. He was no spendthrift—this portly civic dignitary, who had retired to a comfortable house in a small country town —and he had advertised for a handy man, to live out, at £2 a week. The first applicant was an ex-service man, who entered with a dubious air. “What’s the job like?” he asked. “Well,” was the reply, “first of all, you’ll have to do all the rough work in the garden.” “ Rough work in the garden.” “ Then you’ll have to polish all the shoes and ■ clean the windows and the knives.” “Oh! ” “ Groom the pony and the dogs and clean the motor ear.” t “Oh, yes.” ‘Do any repair jobs in the house—plumbing, carpentry, glazing, clock-mend-ing, and so on—and wait at table.” " Oh! I see.” “And in your spare time you can ” “ I’ll tell you, guv’nor. I can sing alto in case you was giving a party, tune the piano, rescue people from burning buildings, and do any. deep-sea diving that’s got to be done. You don’t know me. My name’s Mussolini.” THE FORTRESS. Build a fortress for your heart, And build it tall and strong, So that you may dwell apart In happiness and song. Then the arrows of the world Disturb you not at all. Every spear- against you hurled Will strike the fortress wall. Build a fortress for your- soul, And built it high and wide. You will need, to keep you whole, A place w-here you can hide. All the barbs will miss their- mark, And you can outwit Fate If against the outer dark You shut the fortress gate! Build a fortress for your life That reaches to the sky. You can conquer pain and strife, And grief will pass you by. Call it God, or call it Creed, Call it what you will, It fulfils the soul’s deep need And makes you happy still! — Woman’s Weekly. PUSHING YOUNG MAN. Without waiting to be announced or even knocking at the door, the young man strode, into the private office of the managing director. The business man looked up from his correspondence, and inquired sharply: “Well, what- do you want?” “ I want a job, sir,” answered the caller. “Well,” inquired the other, amused in spite of his indignation at the interruption, “ what can you do ? ” “ Oh, anything, sir,” was the ready answer. “Anything, eh ? And what is your motto for business life? ” “ The same as yours, sir,” said the young xnan. “And what is that, may I ask? ” “ The • one on your door, sir— ‘ Push.’ ” POOR CONSOLATION. Two Irishmen arranged to fight a duel with pistols. One of them was very stout and when he saw his thin opponent facing him he raised an objection. “Look here!” he said to his second, “ I’m twice as big a target as he is, so I ought to stand twice as far away from him as he is from me.” “Be aisy now,” replied his second, “ I’ll soon put that rigdit.” Taking a piece of chalk from his pocket he drew two lines down the stout man’s coat, “ Now,” he said, turning to the other man, “ fire away, and remember that any hits outside the chalk lines don’t count.” SEA RHYTHM. I have not loved the troubling beauty of the sea. Though it assails my heart perpetually. Rather I love the tranquil hills. Serene and still Is the endxiring beauty of a hill. There, changeless calm and quietude majestic sit, Though cloud and wind and rain sweep over it. The artful moon delights to sway the passionate sea; A hill stands motionless eternally. Swept by lamenting winds, the wild sea cries aloud; A hill is silent always as a cloud. A storm-torn human soul is like the troubled sea; The hills are as I would my soul might be. Why should my heart that seeks th e quiet of a hill, Send through . my. blood the wild sea rhythm still? Mary Bx-ent Whiteside, in the Lyric West. NO GUIDE. Once a swain, his love declaring , To his lady fair and meek, Gauged how well his suit was faring By the blush upon hex- cheek. Modern youth Ts not thus aided— Fashion turned another page: Roses for a season faded, Pearl-white faces were the rage. If the maid of his affections Splays a blushing cheek lis because bright-hued complexions Are to-day considered chic! ■' — . L. M. 0.

ASKING QUESTIONS. She: “Don’t people who keep asking you questions all the time simply drive you wild?” . . „ He: “Yes, its annoying all right. She: “ I mean, haven’t you had people like that ask you awfully sort of intimate questions that are none of their bustness ? ** He: “ Oh, yes —lots of times.” She: “Well, what sort of questions, f r ‘‘Oh, about things that concern you personally.” , , . She: “Well, I know, but that might be almost anything. I mean, do they ask you about whether you are in love with some girl or something asinine like that? ” . . , He: “Well, yes, I spose it, might be a question like that sometimes. She: “Well, are you? I mean, if you were would you tell them if they,,asked you a personal question like that I He: “No, I don’t s’pose I would. She: “I s’pose you wouldn’t, would you? But s’pos’n’ you really were in love with a girl, and somebody asked you about it, don’t you s’pose it would be sort of hard not to give it away? ” He: “Oh, I don’t know —it might. She: “Well, it’s no business of mine, anvwav. Because I simply loathe having people" who axe just curious ask you sort of personal questions —don’t you? — London Opinion. WBSDOMETTES. Jealousy is a tree that bears the most bitter of all fruits. Don’t argue with a fool in public. Listeners may not know which is which. When words fail to express a woman’s contempt for man he enjoys a wellearned rest. Even the cleverest musician would find it difficult to get footnotes out of a shoehorn. “ If,” “ we,” “ choose,” we might say that these are the three most popular words of the year. Do not boast of the pick-up your car has, just because it seems to find every nail in the road. DREW THE LINE. Mary’s master is a slightly eccentric bachelor. He has one irritating habit. Instead of telling her what he wants done by word of mouth, he leaves on his desk or on the kitchen table or anywhere else where she is likely to see it a note directing her to “Dust the dining room or “ Turn out my cupboard,” and so on. The other day he bought some notepaper, with the usual die-sunk _ address imprinted upon it, and ordered it to be sent home. Mary took it in, and the first thing that caught her eye was a note attached to the package... She read it open-eyed. “ Well,” she said, “ he’s asked me to do a few things in his notes, but this is the limit. I won’t stand it no longer! For the note read: “Die inside this package.” BETTER THAN NOTHING. It was the second day that the shipwrecked crew had been adrift in the open boat, and the hearts of some of them were beginning to sink. There was one, however. who was full of hope. “What’s that?” he said excitedly, pointing into the far distance. “ Isn't that land?” The second mate’s gaze followed the pointed finger. “ No.” he said dejectedly. “ that’s not land. It’s only the horizon.” “ Well, hang it.” said the optimist, bendins to his oar, “ that’s better than nothing. Let’s pull.” NEW LIFE FOR WINDMILLS. One of the strangest churches in England has just been reopened—the 200-year-old .windmill on Reigate Heath. Services have now been conducted in this windmill for half a century. . This suggests one way in which our vanishing windmills might be preserved. If no church or chapel'is needed in their neighbourhood, they might be converted into little halls or' clubs, thus adding to the social life of. the district, while preserving a picturesque feature of its landscape. Windmills, however, are still in use in some places for the purpose for which they were originally constructed. Methods of improving them have been found, and they are now much less dependent on the caprice of the winds than formerly. A new eight-winged type has also been introduced, and is said to be able to work at full capacity even with a slight breeze.

SOMEONE WHO LOVED ME TOUCHED MY HAND. Someone who loved me touched my hand. The morning was no longer cold, And where the naked birches stand The sun threw down a robe of gold. Someone who loved me touched my hand. The barren fields were green again To fairy flutes, a gladsome band Of daffodils swept down the lane. Someone who loved me touched my hand. My heart was like a melting spring That overflows the fruitless land And brings the earth to blossoming. —Anne Campbell, in Women’s Weekly. GIVING THE GAME AWAY. Nothing could ever be too good for his son, had declared the profiteer, and, subsequently, he had packed the young man off to college. One week-end the son managed to obtain permission to visit his parents. He received a warm welcome, and his father began to question him as to the nature of his education and studies. “ Well,” said the boy, “ there’s maths.” “Hum! ” exclaimed the father, a trifle disappointed. “And French, German, Euclid,” continued the son. “Ah.” returned the other cheerfully, “that’s better! Tell me the Euclid for ‘ Good morning! ’ ” THE SEA WOLF. The fishermen say, when your catch is done And you’re sculling in with the tide. You must take great care that the Sea Wolf’s share Is tossed to him overside. They say that the Sea Wolf rides, by dax Unseen on the crested waves, And the sea mists rise from his cold green eyes When he comes from his salt sea caves. The fishermen say, when it storms at night And the great seas bellow and roar, That the Sea Wolf rides on the plunging tides, And. you hear his howl at the door. And you must throw open your door at once, And fling your catch to the waves, Till he drags his share to his cold sea lair, Straight down to his salt sea caves. Then the storm will pass, and the still stars shine, In peace —so the fishermen say— But the Sea Wolf waits by the cold sea gates For the dawn of another day. —Violet M'Dougall, in the New York Times. PALESTINE PILGRIMS. The recently completed Baha’i Pilgrim House in Haifa, Palestine, was built after designs and specifications by Charles Mason Remey, an American architect. This building, as its name suggests, is for the accommodation of travellers and pilgrims who visit the Holy Land in connection with the work of the Baha’i movement for tolerance, universal brotherhood, and world peace. The Pilgrim House is in the new part of Haifa, standing' upon the slopes of Mount Carmel, commanding a view of the Mediterranean. It is done in the Syrian Romanesque style of architecture characteristic of the Holy Land, and built in the Oriental manner about a central atrium which is surrounded by monolithic marble columns. The whole is massive in structure, with domed and vaulted roofs, a type of building of which there are many examples that have stood for centuries and are still in present-day use in Palestine. While retaining the ancient character of architectural beauty and permanency of construction, this building is modern in its appointments, with oaths, heating facilities, and electric lights. Mr Remey, who is a son of RearAdmiral George C.' Remey, of the United States Navy, has travelled widely and 'spent much time in the Eastern lands, and is the author of several works upon the architecture of the Orient, as well as works of travel. He is the appointed architect <?f other and more important building ©Derations in the development of Haifa, Palestine. HATLESS HATS. I see it stated that the latest devclop--iQut of the. milliner’s art in Paris is a hat which gives the appearance that the. wearer- is not wearing a hat at all (remarks a Morning Post writer). This may be very chic, and is doubtless extremely expensive. But the idea is not new; it has been borrowed from the dressmakers.

GOOD JUDGES. A lady informs me that she has two dogs (decidedly not thoroughbreds), who have been her constant companions foryears (says a Daily Chronicle writer). She makes a point of having them in the room with hex- whenever she engages a new member of the staff. She. is able to judge the character and disposition of the person much more easily by the dogs’ attitude, and has never known their sagacity to be at fault. KING EDWARD’S TASTE. Sir Lionel Gust, who has just been knighted on retiring from the position he has held so long as Surveyor of the King’s Pictures, has many, amusing reminiscences of King Edward, with whom he was on very friendly terms (remarks a Daily Chronicle writer). Mr Cust used to try and get him to say where he would like pictures hung in the rooms at Windsor and Buckingham Palace. But he would never say until he saw them in position. “ Offer it up,” he would say (an expression invented by himself), “ and when it was ' offered up ’ he would put his head on one side, with a twinkle in his eye. and say, ‘ That is not amiss,’ or at once say that he did not like it. He enjoyed sitting in a room with men working about him, and liked giving directions himself as to the position of pictures.” BELL-RINGING FOR BEAUTY. Thirty years ago it was rare to find a woman bell-ringer in Britain. Now the Ladies Guild of Change Ringers numbers several hundred members (says a Daily Telegraph correspondent). Foi- nearly a couple of years Miss Renton and Miss Lawrence have been ringing the changes at Christ Church, Armley, Leeds, for an hour each Sunday morning and evening. Miss Lawrence rings the sixth bell, which weighs nearly lOcwt. She is an athlete, who plays strenuous hockey and tennis and is keen on dancrng, but she declares that bell-ringing is the finest exercise of all for keeping one fit. - .It is fascinating to watch the bellringers at work. You would think it impossible for a slender girl to control the huge bells. Up go the arms of a ringer, high above head, so that you would think she would be swung off her feet. Sometimes she is almost at any rate; she stands a tip-toe often enough. Then downward comes the rope with a long, strong pull bxit a very easy, steady pull for all that’, there must be no jerkiness. “ Rope sight ” a ®. , ls called, is the art of knowing instinctively the moment for your own upward or downward movements, by keeping cognisance of the motion of the other ropes around you. It seems appallingly difficult to acquire at first, but practice soon teaches aptitude and ease. ~ IN HOLLAND. In Holland dinner takes several hours A large number of very filling courses are provided, and with each of them a different wine. Having struggled through the many courses, the serious drinking of the evening begnis (says a writer in the Westminster Gazette). Hie dinner has more courses than are ever dreamed of in this country, and more wine is drunk during the meal alone than is put away in a whole evening by a. good liver in this country.

'1 -E‘ M.P.. has received uie lollownig communication from the Post-masicr-general:—Further to m v letter of October 11 last, in reference to the payment of royalty on silver\pine poles purchased Coast °f the South Island pv the. 1 ost and Telegraph Department I have to inform you that this matter has been discussed fully between the Forestry Department and my department. As a result, it has been agreed, when this course is desired, that the royalty payable in connection with timber removed from State torests and purchased by the Post and Telegraph Department will be deducted from the amount payable to the supplier for the poles delivered. ... A. peculiar position arose at the Whangarei Magistrate’s Court last Thursday, when the case of T. Young Clark v G Patterson, a claim for £133 3s'lOd was called (reports the Northern Advocate). Certain evidence had been taken at Invercargill,' and a change of venue from Auckland to Whangarei, on plaintiff’s .application. fiad been granted. The defendant also lives in Auckland, but the action was in connection with a house built in Whangarei. When • the case was called the defendant and his witnesses and counsel were present, but the plaintiff was neither present nor represented. The evidence tendered on his behalf at Invercargill could not, therefore, be admitted, and the case was struck oufi the defendant being allowed £ll 9s costs.