THE TEA TABLE.

Otago Witness, Issue 3830, 9 August 1927, Page 73

THE TEA TABLE.

Teatime is my most uncomfortable half-hour of the day. Arriving home from the office at 6 o’clock I have just 15 minutes to wait before I can sit down. As though my wife doesn't know what time I get home—it hasn’t varied five minutes during the last five months. And the pomp and ceremony which teatime brings with it! I must not change my stiff collar for a soft one; I must not wear my slippers; I must keep my hands off the paper until tea is over; I must sit bolt upright in my chair— I must do everything to make myself uncomfortable. But why there should be all this pomp and ceremony Ido not know. The cloth which covers the table is one of those cheap*, everyday affairs (the best Irish linen tablecloth is upstairs keeping the moths ■warm) ; the crockery is not of the best variety, and now and then a few old saucers find their way on the table (the best china tea service is collecting dust on the top shelf of the cupboard) ; the cutlery is indifferent—in fact, I cannot grasp the idea at all. * Bit'; my wife has gone over to see her sister this week-end, and I ar on my own. My Sunday tea table is going to be set to my own liking, and I am going to do just as I like. In the first place I shall mount the steps and bring down that best china tea service. 1 don’t really mind if I break a piece or two, either. We’ve.had it 25 years, and I do not think it has been used 25 times. After all, I bought it to use. I shall then ransack the house for those stainless knives and the best cutlery, which mysteriously disappear after they have been used on some special occasion. Why should other people always have the best things? I intend to find that once-a-year Irish linen tablecloth, too, and shake the camphor balls out. It will, for once, grace my table. The silver can also see daylight for once, and 1 shall have a few Howers on the table.

There is, however, one thing to which I am eagerly looking forward. And I shall do it! I want to see what tea stains really do look like on the. best white Irish linen tablecloth. I shall upset a cup of tea on purpose. First-time occurrences always did fascinate me. I shall save the Sunday paper especially for tea-time. I shall prop it up against the silver milk jug, and read to my heart’s content. Needless to say, I shall wear my slippers and a soft collar. After tea I shall drop my cigarette ash and matches into my saucer. First-time occurrences always did fascinate me! There is, however, one fly in the ointment: I never did like washing up —it is not a first-time occurrence with me. But on the whole I think it will be worth it.—A Man, in the Glasgow Weekly Herald.