WHEN TO MARRY

Otago Witness, Issue 3332, 23 January 1918, Page 58

WHEN TO MARRY

EARLY UNIONS BEST. Dr Triiby King was recently reported to have said, in an address given in Auckland, that 18 was the ideal age for women to marry. In a letter to t. Wellington, paper ho corrects this report. "What I really did say," he explains, " was that it was better for marriage to take place between 18 and 25 rather than delay to between 25 and 30 —better for the home, better for the mother, better for the children, and better for the race. " The putting off of marriage longer and longer during the last 50 years has not been based on fitness or physiological grounds, but on what aro called prudential or economic considerations. Naturally the French took the lead in this, and in the restriction of the family, because with them, the virtue of les petites economies readily grew into a national vice. The anxiety of the parents to ensure as substantial a dowiy as possible for tho daughter was a first consideration; and, jis among ourselves, there is a growing aspiration on the part of each successive generation to start housekeeping with most of tho worldly advantages' to which their parents attain only towards the close of life-pfrom absolutely assured means, income, and social status, to motor oar, etc. "Among many grounds of advantages given by people who have married early and had families beyond -the modern average is the fact that, not having formed 6uch definite and different ways and habits as where marriage is delayed, a closer bond tends to grow up between -husband and wife, the pair moulding one another in chai-acter, ways, and ideals, and each becoming moro to the other—more like one another and more devoted to the homo and home life. " Tho same, of course, applies to the children in largo families. They are easier to manage (indeed, manage one another), more unselfish, more devoted to the home, and less anxious to leave it and seek outside distractions.

" One does not need to draw attention to the difficulties which have to be faced by married couples nowadays; they are obvious enough, especially the difficulty and high cost of getting help in the home, particularly where there are young children or where children are expected. However, when everything pro and con has been taken into account, the balance of advantage and happiness is still a long way in favour of fairly early marriage in the great majority of cases. '' I have not touched on the moral question, though it is one- of the strongest arguments against the prevailing custom of late marriages. "The following passages from Letourneau's book on the 'Evolution of Marriage' are significant: 'But the principal causes which influence matrimony a.ro tho greater or less facility of existence and the extreme importance attached to money. . 'We can scarcely attribute to anything else but an excessive care for money and a forethought pushed to timidity some very disquieting traits in our marriage and birth rates in France. I will merely recall, by the way, tho continually decreasing excess of our births, which, if not stopped by radioal social reforms, can only end in our final decay. [Since this was written the births havo fallen below the deaths in France—she is on tho down-grade.] 'The fear of marriage and the family is the partictdar feature of French matrimonially. The desirable age for marriage, says A. Bertillon, is from 22 to 25 for men, and from 19 to 20 for women. ... At Paris, where the struggle for existence is severe, and whore the care for money is predominant, late marriages abound. . . . Marriages are becoming moro and moro simple commercial transactions, whence arises the worst and most shameful of selections —selection by money. 'Finally, the following are important points in favour of fairly early marriages s.od larger families: — (1) The risks of childbirth aro less, for both mother and child. (2) The chances of complete breast-feeding are greater. (3) On the average tho children from the third onwards tend to be stronger and fitter than tho first or even the second

child, this being due partly, but not solely, to increasing knowledge and skill as to rearing.' "