EDITOR'S WALLET

Otago Witness, Issue 3244, 17 May 1916, Page 77

EDITOR'S WALLET

It To:;k. It was a minstrel performance, and in the. intervals between the songs the usual jokes, wore being perpetrated. " What am de difference between on old maid and a married woman?'' asked Sambo* " I done give it up," replied Bones. "Why," explained Sambo, "do old maid am lookin' for a husband ebery day, an' da married woman am lookin' for 'un ebery night!" There was a pause, and several elderly gentlemen got up and stole softly into tho night, A Paving: Speculation. A shabby little cottage on the outskirts of a village was suddenly transformed by paint and paper '-nto an attractive littlo house, and a summer resident of the place, who knew the occupants to be a poor widow and her ne'er-do-well son, was curious about the change. He inquired about it at tho gate. " Yes, sir," replied the old lady smilingly, "my son's in work now. Makes good rnonel, 'e docs, too. All 'e has to do is to go twice to the circus every day, and put 'is head in tho lion's mouth. The rest of tho time 'e 'as to 'eself." Fairly Caught! Really, Mr and Mrs Wibblcs were very happy together, except when an argument arose. Then Mrs Wibblcs contradicted her husband firmly and as a matter of principle. One evening they were discussing tha question of superiority of man over woman, and the lady was getting heated. "At any rate," said her husband presently, "there is one good, sweet, and perfect "thing which a man can have, but which is barred to women." ••Never!" cried Mrs Wibblcs passionately, "I deny it!" Then she asked curiously, "What do you mean?" "A wife!" was the calm retort. Super Carg;o. An eight-year-old boy went to a church picnic, and, being a favourite with the ladies, had been liberally supplied with good things to eat. Later in the dav one of the ladies noticed the boy sitting near a stream with a woebegone expression on his face, and his hands clasped over his bosom. " Why, what's the matter, Willie?" eh a kindly asked. " Haven't you enough to eat?" "Oh, yes'm," said the boy. "I've had enough. I feel as though I don't want all I've got." PUT RHEUMO TO THE TEST. Time was when the sufferer from Rheumatism, Sciatica, Gout, and Lumbago had to simply " grin and bear it." Certainly there were external treatments, but they were usually as futile then as they are to-day. Scic-nce has found a wonderful oura —an internal treatment—Rheumo, Start taking; it to-day. It gives permanent relief because it enters the blood and neutralises tho uric acid —tho cause of the pain. At chemists and stores--2s 6d ar.d 4i 6d bottle. Barraclough's Magio Nervine instantly stop* Toothache. Progandra quickly cures Corns. lo* Stars can be seen at midday from tho bottom of a deep welL