What Are Newspapers?

Otago Witness, Issue 3030, 10 April 1912, Page 82

What Are Newspapers?

Organs that gentlemen play, any boy, To answer the taste of the day, my boy. On what it be, They hit on tho key, And pipe in full concert away, my boy. News from all countries and climes, my hoy. Advertisements, essays, and rhymes, my boy. Mixed up with all sorts Of lying reports, And published at regular times, my boy. Articles able and wise, my boy; At least, in the editor's eyes, my boy. And logic so grand, That few understand To what in tho world it applies, my boy. Reflections, reports, and reviews, my boy; Little scraps to instruct and amuse, my boy. And lengthy debate Upon matters of State For wise-headed folk to peruse, any boy. The funds as they were and they are, my boy. Tho quibbles and quirks of the Bar, my boy. And every week A clever critiqueOn some rising theatrical star, my boy. The ages of Jupiter's moons, my boy, The stealing of somebody's spoons, my boy, The state of tho crops, Tho stvlc of the fops, And tho wit of the public buffoons, my boy. Tables so nicely designed, my boy, That one out of twenty may find, my boy, When railway trains start And steamers depart, However the weather or wind, my boy. Lists of all physical ills, mv boy, Banished by somebody's pills, my boy, Till you ask with surprise Why anyone dies, Or what's the disorder that kills, my boy. Who has got .married to whom, my boyj Who were cut of! in their bloom, my boy J Who have had birth On this sorrow-stained earth. And who totter fast to tho tomb, my boy. Tho prices of cattle and grain, my boy | Directions to dig and to drain, my boy. But 'twould tako me too long To tell vou in song A quarter of all they contain, my boy. —Shamrock.