A LIBEL ON DUNEDIN

Otago Witness, Issue 3005, 18 October 1911, Page 69

A LIBEL ON DUNEDIN

THE MELANCHOLY MAORI'J? LANDER, Australians made themselves very much disliked in South Africa. If many of them were of the type of the person who, under the pen-name of "Marinoa," contributes an article to the Sun, a weekly paper published in Sydney, it is not surprising that the South Africans made it plain that Australians were not wanted. The following extracts will give some idea'of the opinions of this individual, who claims to have spent five years in New Zealand l : "Truly, New Zealand is the home of Wowserism. At the present time there are only about seventeen joyous spirits m God's Own Country, and they are all sly grogsellers. When a man is making «everal thousands a year he can afford, to be happy. ' "The major portion of the time I was in the Land of the White Cloud was spent m Dunedin. Here, it is claimed, live the champion mean man, the best all-round hypocrite, and the wildest no-license orator in the world. ' •'-" '*

"My, but don't the Dunedinites hate anything that comee from Sydney ! The standard of ability is so low that a New South Welshman is pushed ahead at the expense of the old identities, and is on that account mad© <the..victim of every spite that meanness and jealousy can devise. No trick is too despicable for these petty tyrants to practise, and the only thing they stop. short of is personal violence. . The New Zealarider, as a rule, doesn't fight. "In seven out of the fourteen cross streets prayer meetings are held nightly, and salvation is doled out in broken Scotch to a public whose knees are already sore from too much worship. That is the trouble—there is too much prayer in New Zealand. Like the Pharisee, the Maorilander believes in letting his feHow-citizens know-lwhat •a ' rightous fellow he is; it may come in handy, some day, when he catches the other fellow with his eyes to the ceiling, and his pockets unguarded. "A ldt of .'the spirit of unhappiness may be attributable to the climate. . A Maorilander without an umbrella is almost as unusual .. a eight as a Chinaman with whiskers (or morals), and the effect upon a naturally joyless person is particularly depressing. When, as occasionally happens, there is a' week of fine weather, the mournful Maorilander will tell you that it is unseasonable, and that 'we'll pay for : it later on.' "Statistics show that in New Zealand (and in .Dunedin especially) there is a greater proportion of crime than in any other part of Australia. Sexual crimes are, the most prevalent, and while in Dunedin it wag my unpleasant duty to be called upon to listen to some of the most horrible cases it is possible to imagine. But the prayerfulness never abates, and it grieves me to say that in many cases the criminals are leading lights in the church choirs "While in New Zealand I had an opportunity of seeing l how prohibition works out. I spent a month in Invercargill—the largest town under no-license—and I noticed that while there were few drunken men to be seen upon the Streets, the amount of homedrinking that went on was almost unbelievable. Keig- parties were common, and every Saturday the depot that is situated a few miles out of town did a roaring business in five-gallon lfcgs. So that the young man who under license used to get gloriously drunk on Saturday nights from the effects of one small glass of shandy, and parade the town openly (a dreadfully wild young man), now spends his Sundays with a group of his fellows—and a fivegallon keg that must be demolished. He drinks in secret, and in secret grows up to love it.

"Although there are no bookmakers in Maoriland, it is by no means impossible to got a bet. I worked with a young: fellow who never failed to find l someone on the corner who was prepared to lay him the odds

"A good example of the narrow-minded-ness of the New Zealander was furnished in Christchurch a couple of years ago, when a bookseller was brought before the court and fined for selling copies of Shakespeare's works! And, of course, everyone will remember the great outcry there was when the Lone, Hand' published as a frontispiece the picture of a woman in the nude. The picture, which hangs in the Melbourne Art Gallery, and is considered a work of art, was condemned throughout the length

(there isn't much breadth) of the Land of the Moa, and nobody would be seen carrying a copy of that month's Lone Hand. And yet the booksellers soldi out more rapidly than ever before 1 Funny, wasn't it?

"No bookseller who wished to retain his reputation and custom, would display copies of n certain paper on his counter or in his window. But one man told me confidentially that he always kept them: under the counter, and that no other publication" ha handled was half so profitable. Why? Because when a man or woman purchased a copy they always took it away wrapped in another —and more respectable—pa per. "The one trait in the New Zealander's character that calls for pity is the belief he- has in his own country. There ie no place like it. 'What does- he want to go to Sydney for? There is nothing over the sea that can compare with the Hot Lakea and the Octagon. New Zealand is good! enough for him.

"Dave Smith has told you all about how they treat' boxers. Should there be art amateur boxing tournament, there is a greater outcry than there was against the Johnson-JefTlries flight pictures. As for Sunday picnics! Well, if you want to be branded as- a social outcast, just go for a bicycle ride down the main street while a church service is proceeding. You will form the material for a text that nighfc at.all the churches. ;

"The only thing I ever saw in Dunedia that brought me joy" was ' the boat thai brought me- away from there,"