EDITOR'S WALLET

Otago Witness, Issue 2921, 9 March 1910, Page 87

EDITOR'S WALLET

That Desirable Timepiece. "You may say what you please aboutf expensive clocks," said Argonaut, "but it's a. fact that I have got a cheap clock at' home that I bought twenty years* ago, placed on the mantelshelf, wound and seh right, and from that clay to this it has never varied so much as one minute." "Indeed!" "Wonderful!" "Amazing!''' came from the auditors of this remarkably statement. "Do you really mean to say," asked on£' of them, "that the clock has never varied a minute all these years?" "Not a minute," returned Argonaut. "The fact is I broke the mainspring in "winding it, and it's never done a tick ever since." "Wrong" Number, Miss." A certain gentleman was stayinsr in onf| of our large provincial towns when f*& beard that Mr Moneyboy, his partner i» business, was at Wakefield, so he '.'ang uj' his .hotel on the telephone. "Is Mr Moneyboy there?" he inquired* "No, he is not," came the response. "Well, has he engaged ,x)oms?" "No; we don't reserve rooms here. Firsfc come first served is our rule," came the sharp and somewhat airj reply. | "Can you tell me if he will stay with you when he reaches the town - ?" I "It's possible he may, but we can't say "■ "Look here," roared the irate gentleman,"you're the most impudent jaek-in-offioe that ever spoilt his master's business. - Go away, and tell someone who knows uore about the business of the notel to come and, speak, to me." There was a chuckle at the other end. "This isn't an hotel; it's the Wakefield Jail," said the voice. The confused gentleman rang oft sharp. Quick March! With a martial air, Billy Brown, of Lor« don, had marched into the Territorial recruiting office. He had passed all the preliminary examinations; and it remained now only for him to be sworn in by the -ser-. geant. "Just a. minute, guv'nor f' crier' Billy, a sudden thought striking him. "How; long'll it be afore I get my uniform?" . - "Two or three months yet," responded the sergeant. "Well, then," exclaimed Billy. "I'n busted if I'll join !" "■What!" roared the sergeant. "Do yo* . mean to tell me you're only joining loi j the pretty uniform?" I "Not exactly !" replied Bill Brown. ' ! Bu< I want the big overcoat to keen me and my -young brother warrr in bed thil winter!" i The Bait and the Debaters. ! The whole third-class compartment was General Election mad. For two solid hours they talked Peers v. Budgets and Vot&e for Women and Lloyd-George. . Only the little man in the corner was silent, and ha was getting pretty sick of it, he could 1 , assure you, and was heartily glad the trairt was now drawing into his station. Sud* denly he rose' and spoke. "We are face to face," he cried, "with' the greatest political crisis this country had ever witnessed, and the two words spoken/ by Gladstone in '6l will be echoed by thousands of men who open their papers this morning!" He got down his rug-strap. "What were the words?" cried the corny partment. "W r hat were the words?" repeated the I little' man, opening the carriage door. j "They were 'Good morning!' " And, wit" a satisfied smile, he strode rapidly away