THE JOHANNESBURG "STIFF."

Otago Witness, Volume 06, Issue 2899, 6 October 1909, Page 78

THE JOHANNESBURG " STIFF."

A STUDY OP I'HE MAN. \ All the loafers in the vrorld . coxne to Jchann-ciburg. ' ' ' ' Men who are too lazy to bs sundowiiers in. Australia, who have proved too disreputable fcr the profession of beachcomber at Shanghai or ihe Sta-aite, who have been ejected from the' back streets o£ JJy.culia . and harrkd out of .the aliwrs of O^cq'ttii, its a clis^rac-s. to- r -iHe EnglisK peipplc^' dxift ' by myiterious wayg ' to tbs Gold jßeef City. - ... .... liere we call them "stiffs." Some people encourage them to drink themselves to dfath. as fast, as pegsibfe— the.jje are no/ workhouses in the .sv«isvaal. Sohsi^aesburg is the.Jleccai'of the tramp -\fprH— thai is the widp tc'amp world^ Joj Abe English tramp is.jißually only a mtx)tpj:i,x>£ ]®*sfor\WMi &i*d oomßared'tolthe ooanopolitan wanderer who is .ul£im£lely. t wadbe3 tip on the shores oj. South.^/ncj. > iYi?^W X^ me S ha* nwre gpouiae faffm*'' igoare mile than any, t^<cfi^n f' ' "te JW.oJF the globe. . I Jbg-ye. cmmted °?$?§ r qJ^tS| It? 8 ? Pffi^'*«ni|l ]bhe . yiusexn&fes, "ffie l^ole-wbrn ( item jtp erßury Giithedrai op' which." the pilgrims used to advance on their loams.

They lounge on Market square, watching ' the bootblacks at work, till you expect them to take root in its stony soil. England knows the tramp and the loafer. Canada has seen the remittance man and the- wastrel. But greater than these is the Johannesburg "stiff." He is the nadir of hopeless unemployabJeness, the record in laziness, the last word in trampdom. He is It, as the Americans say. Only one word really fits him, and unfortunately that word does not convey to the distant reader the many-sidedness of his character, or adequately describe tlie indomitable perseverance witii which he does nothing. "Stiff"— just a "stiff." That is all. The poor white in South Africa is not • always a "stiff." The bywoner may not work. He may sometimes beg ; though generally he prefers to sink passively. The out-of-work may not be strikingly active. But he does occasionally take a job' on a mine or on new railway construction — "when he can get it. The gemiine "stiff" is imported. He is ths product of much travel and experience. By the time he readies the fiand he is usually in the last stage of "itiff"-ness. He has hardly energy to crawl slowly to Joubert Park, -where, if he successfully passes the bars on the way, he lounges in the sunshine in a state of splendid isolation, because ordinary humanity woald no .more approach him than a twice-born Brahmin would go near a pariah. ! —How the "Stiff" lares.— * Bnt the Johannesburg "stiff" is not of a retiring disposition. He does not quietly > slink away to some spot answering to the Embankment. On the contrary, he mixes with fellow humanity in a somewhat aggressive way Almost any day the- Johannesburger may expect to be stopped by come -slouching ' individual with a vrell-colonred nose and a ten-days' growth of beard, and am appearance arguing a icoted dislike to soap and -water. ".May I speak to you, sir, a moment?" ■_js the stereotyped request, made in a voice husky with stale whisky. And if you axe foolish enough to stop, there is poured into yonr ear a most •istonishijvj story of perseverance unrewarded. Yon see before y-on a man who has grown old in the endeavour to obtain work — a man inspired by a perfect mania for gaining employment. Always the "stiff" tells of marvel lou3 journeys and equally remarkable ill-luck. He Jias walked to Capetown, Durban, Bulawayo, and the diamond fields of German Sout-h-West Africa. The Kalahari is dotted with his footprints; the remains of his camp-fires are spreAd over the Fever Country. But there "is a universal conspiracy 3 *' to refuse to give hdm work. Thus it happens that he has not tasted food for six days, and is in urgent need of a trifle wherewith to obtain a night's shelter. if the thoughtlessly charitable overlook -the fact that the man's physical condition would r.o-t enable him to walk ten miles, and that his general state of -decay would prevent any mine captain engaging him lest the Kaffirs should remss 10 work in" the same stcpe, and the desired shilling is produced, the "stiff" drifts away to the nearest bar. Some people give an order on the Salvation A-rmV for a meal and bed — ihe money on thcee orders is collected later on,— but the "stiff" gets round the difficulty by selling the order at* a 50 per cent, reduction on its face value to some genuine out-of-work. > For the genuine "stiff" wants neither a ni3al nor a bed. He rarely eats'. Ec sleeps anywhere. He never works. He just drinks — and drinks — and drinks. How he dczs it is a mystery. How he gains . fi ufncicnt money to enable him to cope with hLs astounding and unquenchable thirst nobody knows. It is imnossible to conceive that h/&- has an acquaintance po.--si3«fsing the price of two drinks. Yet indisputably he spends most of his time ;n; n a bar. In «my low-class publichou=<\ at any time of the da 7/ or night, you v.ill ?ee him keening up the counter by- leaning agakist it. arguing long and luridly with bicther "stiffs." — Smart Adventurers. — Of cour.*?, there are higher levels in the world of "stiffs," though the characteristic dislike of work is still found Tha Kspectable-lookdng "stiff" lives at a derent hotel — on nothing. Ho is well dressed — on nothing. He smokes good cigars — on nothing. " Possessing no visible means of subsistence, he has always money in his purse. Probably ho has piieG cf unpaid bills and civil imprisonnient orders in his pockets. He seems to exist (rather well, too) by borrowing money he lias no intention of repaying, b<\ exchanging bad cheques fcr good ones, by issuing worthleas T.O.U.s' and promissory notes, and by dealing in valueless shares with -nen \> -o have more money than intelligence. Jne doubts whether, even in London, there exists, in proportion to tne population, such a collection of financially conscknfeleas, unscrupulous, glib-tongued, and extremely pleasant adventurers as haunts the hotels '■and bars of the Golden City. The "stiff" Tespsctable does not p3ay the confidence trick on natires, or rob unsophisticated mine boys by means of the ■old "washer" swindle, or even run a bogus registry office. Now and. then he may dabble in the higher "branches of the illicit liquor traffic, or have a finger in 1.G.8., or be mixed up in the -white slave business. But zr a tulo he lives by petty cheating and borrowing and filthrate syndicate promoting. The "«t«fe" of the jßarid^ nevep go **fy ' for gpod- Yon nta^y j^& .tbern .will way tickets («ingte) to thY, coqtfe, jta* 'may psy thear f£r«s *o Bii^desitt, y<m x*i.y «*o4 them" to Lourenco Marines it Bern^m ■#» hope't&at they will g& knifed 1 !n i D»fco quarrel. But they always reappear, usually xoote "stiff" Jite than ever. There are men h*re who ha-v»lw«ef upon nothing for ih«' past.. dww*»» «nd $eem to thrive on ii. :1 jEou can dd nothing with than. & lirWtieM 4o t*y >> $o «iythijig for

them. Perhaps some day they •will die. Bub sometimes I doubt even this. — L. E. Xeame, in. the Daily Mail.