PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2811, 26 August 1908, Page 5

PASSING NOTES.

(From -Saturday's Daily Times.)

The most fitting comment on. the political transformation scene presented just now by Turkey is a- confession of blank bewilderment. The cables are bidding us lift up our eyes, behold the latest birth of Time, and acclaim, a miracle — the Turkish Empire become a democracy, the Sultan a constitutional sovereign ! And a miracle it is, the miracle of Aladdin and hie Wonderful Lamp. A rub- of the lamp, and, lo ! a stately .pa-lace stands before you, awaiting your possession, where but now a palace there was none. Such things happen only in the magic East. It is the land of the jinn and the genie ; of the harem, the eunuch, the mute and the bowstring ; of Giaffir, Mesrour, and the good Haroun Alrasohid. It is the land of swift mutations and reversals. Another rub of the lamp, and your Aladdin palace dissolves like an exhalation. Remembering this, I am for postponing any private Te Deuni I may have" meditated in respect of the regeneration of Turkey. It was only the other day that Persia was similarly regenerated. The old Shah, now in Paradise, established and bequeathed to his successor a House of Deputies, with all things conformable. He had visited) European capitals, — too many and too often for a true believer ; hence, when in his dotage, importing a political constitution was to the old Shah much the same as importing a motor-car, an orchestra, or a quick-firing gun. But with the advent of a new Shah came back the imnieinoTial East, and in. my latest London newspaper I find the following item, under the heading " Teheran " : — Th« correspondent acids that several deputies are in chains in the Royal, camp, the others are scattered and their whereabouts is unknown. The number of ■prisoners in camp is increasing hourly, and they anre subjected to the worst ordeals. Later still, in a cable the other day, the Shah was thanking Allah that not a single political infidel remained in the country. Events in Constantinople are to be interpreted, I am afraid, by the lurid light of events in Teheran.

The truth is that what suits the geniii6 of the Mahometan East ie not democracy, but personal government plu& romance. And the romance of the East is the romance of the caliph and the cadri, of sudden ups and downs, the alternative of the puree of sequins to carry away in your girdle or the bastinado to be applied to the coles of your feet. The Grand Vizier of to-day was yesterday a cameltlxiverj and to-morrow may be bowetrung. ; That is the Mahometan East. Captain Marryat's Pacha of Many Tales, after remarking to his barber, Muetapha, that he [lias taken off the heads of all those t\lio 'kfb their slippers at the door of the late pacha, his predecessor, complains that he is consequently in want of a vizier. " May it please yoxu: sublime highness," said Mustapha, "if your &lave be bo honoured aa to speak in your presence, R vizier should be a person of great tact; he should be able to draw the line as nicely as I do when I shave yomr sublime head, leaving not a vestige of the haiT, yet entering not upon the skin." " Very true, Mu&ta-pha.." "He should have a sharp eye for the disaffected to the government, selecting th-ern and removing them from among the crowd, as I do the few white hairs which presume to ra/ake their appearance in your sublime and magnificent beard." " Very true, Mustapha." "He Bhould carefully remove all impurities from the state, as I have this morning from your sublime ears." " Very true, Mustapha." "He should be well acquainted with the secret springs of action, as I have proved ury&elf to be in the shampooing which your sublime highness has just leceived." " Very true, Mustapha." " Moreover, he should be ever grateful to your highness for the distinguished honour conferred upon him." ''All tihat you say is very true, Ifus-

T tapha,, Trot -where am I to meet with. » such a man?" " This world is convenient in some points," continued Mustapha ; "if you want either a fool or a knave, yoni have not far to go to find him; but it is no easy task to seleot the person you require. I know but one." . \ " And who is he?" 1 " One whose head is but as your footstool," answered the barber, prostrating himself; "your sublime, highness' s mostdevoted slave, Mustapha." " Holy Prophet," exclaims tlie~~ pacha ; "then you mean yourself!' 1 "But, then, what am I to do for a barber?" he asks. ' Obviously this difficulty was to be got ' over by combining the offices. "While I am shaving the head of your sublime highness," says Mustapha^.'' l can receive your commandts to take off the heads of ' others, and you can have your person and your State both put in order at the same moment." On which reasonable basis the affair is settled. Caricature, all this, do you cay? Granted, but for giving the essential truth of things caricature can beat photography any day.- As a democrat and an optimist 1 rejoice "in the extension of the blessings of democracy to Mahome= tan races. But I rejoice with trembling. Some of my "correspondents seem . of . opinion that the court in charge of the Gibson-Smith heresy case is the PassingNotes column of the Otago Daily Times and Witness. They are not altogether wi-ong- Other cottrts may set themselves ■' up in the same behoof, but th© public | will refuse to believe in them. The tribunal over which Civis has the honour to preside is not a department of the Holy Inquisition ; it keeps no faogots in j stock, nor does it make up its mind beforehand. Both sides get an impartial hearing, and neither is permited to run away , witn the whole verdict. What could be j fairer? On the other hand, what could be unfairer than such proceedings as those of the Rev. R. R. M. Sutherland? In the interests of orthodoxy, as he understands orthodoxy, Mr Sutherland proposes to combine in his own person the offices of prosecutor, judge,- and jury. He has already framed and published the indictment; he "will argue- it in General Assembly ; he will vote upon the issue. In short, the ecclesiastical court on which < Mr Sutherland builds his hopes is to be everything that a court of justice is not. At this point I may present a certain ' "John Knocks" whom Mr Sutherland has inspired to an effort in parody, an imitation — longo iniervallo — of Burns in " The Kirk's Alarm " : Orthodox, orthodox, ■ "Wha believe in John Knox. _^ ' 1 There are heretics noo in the kirlt, ~" ! But they maun be deatroy'd, , And nae langer employ'd, ■ Sac get on to their track wi' your dirk, ! orthodox, Sac get on to their track wi' your dirk. R. R. M. ; E. R. M., Man, that speech was a gem j i That ye gi'ed them in Kaikorai kirk. • j In a neresy hunt | ! Ye're the man for the front; 'Tis a dv>iy that ye mauna' shirk, E. R. M., 'Tis a duty that 1 ye mauna' shirk. There are eight verses, whereof these two must suffice. In the Burns original the verses run to a score, but each verse is a cameo with its own subject, the phiz of an individual member of Presbytery touched off with satiric cap that fits ; or^. if not an individual, the Kirk as a whole — e.g.: — Calvin's sons! Calvin's sons, seize your j spiritual guns ; jAmmunition you never can need ; \ Your hearts are the stuff will be powder enough. i And your skulls are a storehouse o' lead. , Calvin's sons! Your skulls are a storehouse o' lead. i But " John Knocks " concentrates hie '■ knocking upon the one pate, of "R. R. M.," j | and the hollow sound, resulting grows ' ' monotonous. So I cut hip short. "Old Presbyterian," writing from Rotorua, makes a suggestion which, as addressed to this column, is, I think, the oddest within my experience : J Dear " Civis," — I daresay it will be of some iatexest to you to know that your notes are reed as far away from Dunedin as this; however, my reason for dropping | you this line is the fact that I gee you ! are interested in the Gibson-Smith Heresy Trial. I beg to suggest that you should be the means of starting a Prayer League out of sympathy to the reverend gen'tlemaji and also as a. means of help to tLe Presbyterian Assembly when they sit in judgment upon him — that is, of coiirse, assuming they are " both not past praying for." If you would start a Prayer Circle comprising of those who are in earnest anxiety as to the judgment of the Presbyterian Assembly and the fate of the heretic, and who would pray unceasingly that all will turn out to the honour and glory o! God, I would be the first to join-in with you. And I am urged to " eive this matter " my "serious, earnest, and prayerful attention."' Well, lam willing to oblige in ail things reasonable — to sit in a prayer circle, for a good cause, or to start a prayer league. But we need a defining of terms. Card circle, I know, whist and bridge ; spirit circles — yes, I have pat with other imbeciles joining hands round a table, to low lights and the playing of an accordion. Leagues, also; — there is the Navy League (one guinea per annum), there are Railway Leagues — the Otago Central, the Catlins-Tahakopa, the Lawrence-Roxburgh. But none of these experiences help. What is a Prayer League — that is the question ; and what is a Prayer Circle? On these points I await light ; meantime inferring that " Old Presbyterian" resorts to a journalist for help in systematizing his devotions because his spiritual guides have failed him. At Rotorua, as here, they must be absorbed in blowing up the trumpet in the new moon and beating the drum ecclesiastic. I At Kansas City assembled recently the Homceopathist National Convention of America, one object of the gathering

1 to raise a fund for a propaganda £- spread the light of homoeopathy. Dr ~£%k Biggar, Mr J. D. Rockefeller's phys r ?ian, had the business of the fund in hand — "a white-haired, handsome man, tft demeanour most dignified." Taking ', #20 out of his pocket to start the subscription, he announced that he would " respectfully and cheerfully kiss any. woman who gave a similar amount." Dr Mabel Spencer promptly but blush- , ingly rose and said she would contribute "■£2o. "All right," said Dr Biggar, "I'll be with you* in ar minute." , Dr Mabel Spenoer held forth one handi and Dr Biggax, bending low, gallantly touched? his lips to it, while - the convention cheered. , Then Dr Anna Spencer bravely announced that she would part with £20, and Dr Biggar hastened over to see hex personally. More cheering jukl anottei kiss on the hand. A woman with gftey hair and a dignified expression gare JP2O, and Dr Biggar kissed her firmly on *.h« lips. Wild cheering. and cries of-" You're a warm potato; break away," and ot<her medical terms. Dr Biggar's next achievement was the kissing of the Women's' Fraternity of the American Institute _ of Homoeopathy — every - member ,of • it — in return for - £20 subscribed by, the lot. ' "Women's Fraternity" is^gooa.- • " We shall be hearing next of Men's Maternity. But let us proceed with the proceedings : Dr SiggHX* tli-en lemarked, " I'm stfra.xcl that is a -poor bait I'm using. I'll kiss the next woman who subscribes squarely on the niouth." Half a dozen immediately subscribed, and, amid much, fun j and excitement, Dr Biggar discharged 1 his contract Real kisses were the best inorey-getters, and finally a sum of £1000 viis raised. / \ What shall be said unto these things? '' No doubt they were all homoeopaths together, getting their living by homoeopathy, had come there for the purpose of raising a campaign fund, and contributed their £20 apiece on the sprat-to-catch-a-mackerel principle. That is clear.What is not clear is the nature of the fascination "exercised by this white-haired Dr Biggar of the dignified demeanour. Why did every she-homoeopath in the room want to be kissed by him? Are we !to suppose an epidemic of hysteria? As> an alleged branch of science homoeopathy lis a queer subject, anyhow; and its American professors appear to be quee* people. German thoroughness is a proverb; ft proverb also is German erudition. Both ' qualities are seen to advantage in the | business circulars which German firms scatter through the post over all the British world. . Here are some sentences from a circular soliciting New Zealand subscriptions fo a German trade journal: Berlin, June, 1906. j Dear Sir, — We think thait w© wiU* mak« j you a little pl«astire by sending you th« I annexed cbpy of our weekly periodical. Is it immodest of us, if we beg you; ' to confirm us the receipt of the copy with ' some words, and let us know yow opinion of it? You would oblige- u<r very much; - * £?till more we should be glad of yoti^.- . willing suscribe to our weekly periodical, by which you would certainly serve' also, to your interest. For Mk. 8. — the year • (excl. carrier's fees) you get noti ' only 52 of out copies, equiped superbly and technical extremely valuable, bufi also as annexion in regular deliveries • [here follow details]. -- .. i Do not think you that the little chaj-g« f of Mk. B.— will be worth while? ' ' i W« remain, /dear air, etc., etc. I venture to think that a British firm wishing to tout for business in Germany, would get its German written by a German. But no German firm gets its English written by an Englishman. A 1 j German firm writes its own English-.: Wherein, as I remarked above, we see illustrated both German thoroughness an<* German learning. Civis

An inquest was held on the 18th by 5Tr O* C. Gyaham, coroner, and a jury, of whom. Mr John George Butler %vaa chosen foreman, on the death of the wife of Jo2uiir C. Cameron, which Occurred suddenly or» Monday, 17th inst. The evidence showedk that the deoeased took suddenly ill early h*' the morning, but later lapsed into apparent?" steep, passing away quietly. The evidence of Dr Stanley Batchelor was' to the effcetf that death was due to natural causes, the immediate cause being apoplexy. A verdicf was returned in accordance with the mcd* cal testimony. The hardships that some of our minister"* experience, even in*" Otago, where the mini", maim stipend ifl higher in the Presbyterian! Church than in the north, are (says the Outlook) very real. Some time ago one-, of our ministers accepted a call to & charge. His travelling expenses amounted ■to £30, which he had to pay. He had tof buy a horse, which cost him £30, for the first horse turned out unsound, and he had! to sell it at a loee. Then, breaking up bial old manse and furnishing his new homef meant a further financial drain, and bhe> consequence ifl that not a few of our mini*' ters doing the hardest work carry on thei* work with a burden of anxiety aboufe material things. The £250 minimum stipend agreed upon in Otago is not in sight yet. The Arbitration. Court on the 19th heard evidence an<l .argument in the dispute between the Taratu Coal Company and its employees, the case occupying the whole »f the day. We understand that it is the intention of the Council of Churches to launch out into broader lines, and that among ofchor subjects to be discussed at the annual meeting the matter of the Church's relationship to Socialism will bo introduced by the Rev. W. Slade.

A" petition aeking the Go7«rnmcKt to C^ablish &. Maori .hostel in WeKir«g-ten will bo presented to Parliament. I'efitioiwra atat* that thoT " have found by actual experience thai th« majority of Nat-Ires cannot' find .accommodation in WelllTtgon. It i« v«;y difficult in dear] to pet prirate hotels and boardinghouces to reoeire sdaarU, and the matter is becoming: £co serioiw that zko fsov«rnioeni, should deal with it .without uc-lay."

TVliat impressed mo=t one of the parly of Mfrsierton gentlemen that ipcc.'ifly returned from a trip to the Darling Downs was t^o mildness of ihe Queensland and Now South Wales winter. Bright sunny days and clear "harp night 3 were the chief characteristic of the weather during 1 the trip. "If I had the money, I would spend every winter over there," said the perron referred \o, to A Wulmra^a Daily Times reporter.