A LOVELESS MARRIAGE.

Otago Witness, Issue 2685, 30 August 1905, Page 82

A LOVELESS MARRIAGE.

By Sally iisr Ocp. Alley.

"My eleor Olive, I do wash you would think it over well before }c-u decide to many this in on."

'"But, godmother, I am so tired of this life!" So spoke beautiful Olive Newman, to her godimother, a dear old lady with, snow-white hair and large, brown, sad eyes. "Dear child, what have you tc-.be tired of? You have a dear mother and a happy home; you are much sought after by your friends , yc-u have a lovely voice and can give pleasure to so many ; and jet you want to marry this man, simply because you are tired of your surroundings. He is so much older 'than you — think again before taking this step."' "But. godmother, we are so poor; and I do like nice things, and if it were not for my fairy godmother I should go very short. There are so many of us at home, and bo little money. I would; like to be rich: I could do so much for the others. What/ a gp-od time I could have— lovely dresses, jow-els, and the biggest house in town!"

"Yes ; but that is not everything."' "But, godmother, you don't know what it is to be always poor: it is just horrid." "My dear child, I was once like you, so I can understand. And if the story of my life would be of any use to- you I will teil it. It is very painful to me to look into tho p;;st, but if my life's story will be tho means of making you happier it will have done its work. I do believe <hat some, people go through 1 lungs to save others; but, after all. I have- only myself to blame for my spoilt life." "Spoilt life-, dear ' godmother ! Why, your life is beautiful. See what a. lot of good you do -with your money, and you seem so happy." "Yes, dear, lam happy ; but happiness can be too dearly bought. After 50 years peace has come at last. But I must get on with my story. When a young girl I lived, with my mother and father and only sister, in the pretty town of Christchurch. We were both thought a lot of and asked everywhere. My sister was very pretty. She is dead now ; she dieel in her beauty. Well, like you, we were not too well off, and many pretty -li esses did not come our way. But young men did ; and one young man in particulai — an officer, nice-looking, straight, and t ill. How we loved each other! But hs w?s not rich dnough to marry me ; I should Lave to wait for some yrars, find evcni then, perhaps, it could not be- Like yon, I was tired of being poor — of having to wear the same dress at at least three or four dances, for wo were asked to everything. There was great excitement in, Chmtchurch. The Governor was staying there for the season, and it was the week of tho ball at Government House. How we w ere looking forward to it ! My sister and I bad both lovely dresses for the night. They lmcl cost us a lot of thought and worry, aud they were to ba the "'asb

* for th' 3 beacon How proud wa -were of than ! And my sister, how lovely shs leaked ! Slie said the same of me; in fact, people said we were the loveliest girls in the room that right, Our programmes were filled quickly. In the early, part of the evening I was introduced to an elderly gcntlom.'ip— a large runholder, and very liclij a pleasint-looking man, with a kind lace, and a veiy good dancer. He asked' me for several dances, and seemed to take 0 fyUierly interest in me — so I thought. He asked if lie might call on my father and mother, saying that he rind met father bcjore in India. He called in the course of a few days, and we were all charmed Tiiih him. Ht was so kmd to us girls, taking us for diives and i>ienics, and giving us tickets for the opera. Weli, to* make my story short, one day he asked mo to many him. I rake.' tr> be given ar week to think it over. Of course my psi'enis v-ere delighted to thirk so i*ich & man want?d me to be his wife: ih would b9 the end of all our money tioubles, for he had promd^ed to pay off oil father's debts But I was only 19, and not in> love with him. I h?d not foi gotten, my old love, but he had forgotten me — so If thought. If I had only trusted him, how different my life would have been ! And then, again, J thought how lovely it would be to be my own mistress and have plenty of money; so I gave way, and we were married a month later in St. Mary's Church. They all said what a grand match I had made. We went to Melbourne for our honeymoon — went everyv here and saw everything. My husband was most kind to me, and I admired hint very much. But the time came when wo had to go back to look after the station, so we left again for New Zealand. The station was right away in Central Otago. We had to drive, and it would take us at least four days before we £,ot home. I shall never forget that drive over Mils and plains- -hills with no grass?, only rocks, rocks, rocks, tussocks, tussocks, day after day. Hiw I wished myself m Christ churclii again .' "On the fourth day tvs got home, or to the station, far away among mountains covered with snow and over the quickftairing rivers. The mn was setting, and tho mountains looked glorious. They were to be my friends for many days. Dear old mountains, how I love them .'" Arriving at the homestead wo were welcomed by my husband's housekeeper and the servants] " The house was a dear old rambling one, the walls covered with creepers, tho old- fashioned garden looking its" best with its white and red roses, Christmas lilies, and 6carlet geraniums. 1 thought I would be. very happy, but, my dear, you cannot be happy if you do not love the man you many. After the novelty had worn off I found my life rery dull. I had left all my girl friends far away ; my nearest neighbour was ten mites off, and I was leffc very much to myself, my husband being out most of the day, and when .at home he liked to shut himself up with his pipe and book most of the evening. We had not a thing in common. I hated the wild country, and if it had not been for my dear old housekeeper 1 should have gone mad. " Winter came with its snow, rain, and wind. How I hated the wind ; it would come, howling round the house at night, moaning through the trees. Oh, for some one to talk to or something to do. I could not even go for a drive — snow everywhere for miles and miles. Oh, the loneliness of it all, and I wss soon to be a mother. If we had a son we were to live in England. I think the thought of that kept me sane. My husband would be heir to a big property if he had a son, and we would live in England. How l built up my mind, how I looked forward to the time. It came at last ; it was spring, one of those lovely days, calm and sunny, with a few violets out. The birds were singing, and the trees bursting into leaf. That night my baby was born — a lovely boy, but by the morning he was dead, and I was blind — yes, blind. The shock in my weak state had turned me -blind. Shall I ever forget those days and weeks? My husband was kindness itself, but I did not want him. All my past life rose before me. I could only think, think, think. How I hated myself ; how I wished I were free again — a laugh-

ing, happy girl, turning my frocks, cutting and contriving. But I must live ifc down, make the best of it. If I could only see again the lovely mount aints I might be happy, or try to be. My husband took me to England. He got the best advice for me, and in time I could see again. Oh ! the joy of it. It made me more contented with my lor, but I was never a happy woman. I could get everything I wanted — dresses from England, or anything else. We came back to New Zealand, and went to the station once more. Two or three times in the year we went to the city. I had friends to stay with me, horses to

ride, but my life was spoilt : there was no love in it. I grew into a cold woman. The only things I loved were my garden and the dogs. Ah, how I loved my flowers ! My husband was always kind in his way, but he loved his books and pipe better. And now lam an old woman and my husband dead. I can do good to others with his money. I have found peace at last. And, dear child, I hope by telling yon this life's story I have saved one from a loveless marriage." "Dear godmother, what a sad, sad life! I don't think I want the money after all. I would rather marry for" love."

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