DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

Otago Witness, Volume 23, Issue 2684, 23 August 1905, Page 73

DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

"One man may speak the universal mind.' fc-Dopl-jy, on Our Club (For copyright apyiy Qnago.) - Ivry. time I pick up me Otago Witness, th' furrs.t thing I r-mn acrost is th' repor-rt iv th' Lith'rary an' Debatin' Club. What's that? asked Mr Hennessey. Th.' Lith'rary an' Debatin' 'Club. Oh, begorra, if ye wud delight th' hear-rt iv yer tohoy, Hinnissy, jist sind him there. I wanst had" tb\[ inner, of bein' a, mimbsr m'silf, though I we. an iv th' mute, ingloryous heroes in it- plmty of currage an' no opportunities. Aii' •what did ye do, an' where did ye go, an' who was there Stiddy a moment, Hinnissy, till I git breath. We used t' go t' th' Witness offis, where we had a room all to ourselves, wid photos iv bhoys an' gurrls, an' books an' sates. Th' wan we calls th' Prisidint stands up at th' head iv th' table, his hammer in his han', an' calls on th' leader iv th' affirmative side t' stand up an' git his lot off his chiat. Thin th' leader iv what you might call th' Oppoeishun, 1 he stan's up, an' makes a spachc. Thin their followers each stand up an' make spaches, an' afther all have had their say, th 1 three judges What! judges at th' club? Hinnissy, what ignorance be in man. Befor' ■we stax-rt th' debate we choose three out iv our number t' judge th' ar-r-giment3 iv each side. As I was sayin 1 , these three judges say w'ich side has brought up th' bist ar-r-gi-ments. An' who usd t' attind that wonnerful club? Faith, whin I was there, Harry was th' prisident, an' Black' Watch and Go Hon were vice-prisidints, and T. D. A., whom I -am proud t' own as a thiue pathriot iv Ould Ireland,,' was sicritary. * Where did thim names come from? Wait wan moment, Hinnissy. Whin a new ■number wrote, -t' th' page he took a nomderploom, an'- wrote pothry an' things. What fur? Arrah, git out an' go t' wur-ruk, avick, an' •whin ye come back I'll till ye more about this wonnerful club. — I have ,been supplied, with the following "spicy" tit-bits from speeehas made last social evening at the game of "speechifying" : The personal element in his notes has been too much uppermost lately, with too little generalities'; (Scobie on T. I. C.) We have to complain of the "childishness" of his notes. Any child of ordinary ability could write such notes. (Seobie on T. I. C.) Country members, slso, do they take much interest in his table talk? No, I venture to say they do not. (Seobie on T. I.XJ.) Now, then, you girl? and boys over there, don't be too enthusiastic. (Seobie.) .1 must express my gratitude on this "suspicious" occasion for the opporturity of exercising my elocutionary powers (Go Hon.) I went last Thursday to hear Tommy Taylor, -the "windy" man from Christchurch, and I fancied I was in the midst of a D-L.F. social — yes, very social — gathering. (Go Hon.) I will speak this evening about the ancients — Hector. Achilles, .etc. Why are they, interesting to all the ages? Because they were a heroic and strong lot of men. (Texas Jack.) Last .social evening at the club, members- indulged in a hearty game of "speechifying," " Awkward Ned's' favourite parlour game. Politics were "all. the rage" to make speeches upon until at the end of the table could be heard the following heated dialogue on the "Kath-leen-Catherine" case: — I say, those new Liberals were perfectly heartless in referring thus to Mr Sedin. They were not, excuse me. I went to hear them in the Garrison Hall, and the explanation they gave of the position was perfectly satisfactory. Did you go to hear them, may I ask? No, I did not ; but I read all about the matter. Mr Sedin was quite to be sympathised with in thus giving way to his feelings before the House. Bah, that was a political dodge. How easy just before election time can crocodile teari be brought up! Besides, what do girls know about politics, I should like to know? As much as seme boys, let me tell you. It ■wasn't right. I say it was. (The dialogue here became so heated that the reporter's ears had to be closed, and intervention became necessary. The combatants ' separated, there was "peace, .perfect peace".) ' Who would have thought that in our club | the members took such an interest in politics! ' — I have also been favoured by our president with the following extracts from papers sent in for social evening: — 'Tis bard to leave home and all clear associations ; but, alas ! necessity is a cruel i master, and has no sympathy with one's emotions. (Black Watch.) The train between Balelutha. and Glenomaru does not hurry itself. It is very slow, and reminded me of "The Cruise of the Polly Ann," by Artemus Ward, when he says "Beat tearing through the briny waves at the rate of two knots an hour," etc. (Black Watch ) 1 Oftentimes my thoughts revert to those tappy evenings I spent among the club men-l-ers amidst joy and pleasure. I will look forward to the "summer time, when w* have cetter weather and longer days; then I will «xert my cycling powers on my iron steed to attend occasional 'y at the meetings. (Lester../ ,i Leaving Dunedin, The Kipper was my escort and Harry my starter. Amidst rain we had to lide. We did look a bold pair-on bikes going ihrcu^h Caversharn through mud and slush. Whan we got to Mosgiel, lo and behold, I couldn't recognise The Nipper until he came put of the mud. (Lester.) /' On dit:— — That polities were "all the go" last social evening. Miss I. and Scobie nearly had a etatid-up fight over King Dick's "crocodile and onion tears," which was only terminated by tho sudden appearance of Harry and Co. > ; i_. That our great friend, Black Watch, has 'dropped his anchor down south, but promises that we shall liear- from him. often. Good ar>d prosperous times to you, comrade. •"** — That Seobie, like myself, pins his fai'.h i& the new Liberals. We hope soon to see

Scobie M.H.E. for Dunedin City. We can all assure him of our votes.

— That Lulu considers Texas Jack's new Like a "perfect pet for a lady, especially with the saddle removed.

— That, some time ago, Seobie, when reading out; a paper on a cert.iin heroiue, designated her (inter alia) : "A woman of the muddle"! Wa.3 that not a slip, bo jabbers?

— That Detective on the Spot 11, alais "Conptab'e " has evidently been inspired Piracy learn to write more coirect Fntriish be-fore .«-ou tfke to writing anonymous letters to Quago

— That Didn't You Knew, when a3ked to propose a toast in the sieediifying, in default of anything b'jttor remarKed, ''Oh, yes, I was nrikmg toast this morning." Whai no. Go Han! Another bachelor c .me to light?

— That in his paper for cocial evening. Black Watch hoped "wo wouJd enjoy m«iny liarijjy moments." Can we enjoy them? Ask Go Hon. Ned, Seobie, cud all tihe> rest of the numerous band who were "taken in " for their •verdict.

— That Seobie, last debate, pointed cut that three teachers present that evening were in favour of swimming being made compulsory, showing that the coming teachers are not averse to it if the older ones are. Are three heads better than one, T.I.C. ? Ned discredits it.

— Tliat Isaleioe and El Nora tal-e a 1-eon delight in high strikes and Maori hakas, especially when performed by our Little Nipper. QUAGO.