ANECDOTES OF CHILDREN.

Otago Witness, Issue 2661, 15 March 1905, Page 83

ANECDOTES OF CHILDREN.

The following has been sent to me as genuine. One day a lady — Mrs Thomson, •we will say,— who has a daughter out of ler teenSj was visiting, say, Mrs Johnson. Mrs Johnson's little boy was told the -visitor was Mrs Thomson. "No, she isn't,'' said the little boy. " Oh ! yes she is," said the mother. " No, she isn't, she's a girl." I suppose the. little chap get an angelic smile anc! a sweet kiss for his uncon.scious outspoken flattery. The succeeding ones are culled from various sources. "What are pauses?" the teacher asked •the first class in grammar. " Things that grows on cats and dogs," answered the smallest girl. " I say, mamma," said four-year-old Tommy, " let's play I'm an awful-looking old tramp. I'll eomo round to the back door and ask you for a piece of pie, and you get frightened and give it me." Two little children sat looking at the stars. Presently one of the little fellows turned to the other and said : " Wasn't God a nice man to give us the stars for a light?' "O, Teddy, how can you say such & thing?" said the other boy, much shocked. "You shouldn't call God a man. If ever there was a gentleman, He's one!" A school board officer called at the home tof a pupil whose absence had extended over a. week, and inquired of the lad's mother the cause. " Why," she said, " he's past his thirteenth year, an' me and his father think he's after-r having schoolin' enough, sor." " Schoolin' enough ! Why, I did not finish my education until I was 23." "Be that co?" asked the mother, in amazement. Then, reassuringly, after a moment's thoughtful pause. " But that boy of ours has b-T-rains." Depew called at a friend's house, where lie attracted tie attention of a small boy «f eight. After he had left, the boy's father eaid to his son. "That was Chauncey Depew, -the world's greatest story-teller." A day or two later the senator happened to be at the same house, and the boy, running up to him, said, -'I know you." "Really, my little man, and who am I?" " Why," replied the bright-youth, "my poppa says you're the biggest liar on earth !" A correspondent of the Liverpool Post mentions these excuses for lateness and nonattendance at school: — "Deer sir, — Will you be so kind as to forgive Johnny for being behind time this morning, as he was unable to discover his sox, which afterwards proved to be in the ashpit, where they had no doub^been depposited by the family dog, ■which we intend to get rid of at our earliest convenience." "Dr Sir,— Samuel cannot come to 6chool this afternoon, as he has glued his head to the dresser, and we have not been able to separat-3 him yet." It is stated that there will be a third candidate for the Wairarapa seat in the rxrsoa of Mr Coleman Phillips, who, the Wairarapa Daily Times understands, will be in evidence as a protest against the interference of the Premier with the rights and privileges of free constituencies. At the Wanganui Police Court on Sattirday last a man named M'Nab was fined £3, .with costs (7s), on a. charge of having travelled on the railway between New Plymouth and Hawarj. without a ticket. The evideuce showed that the defendant represented that he was a railway employee, while as a matter of fact he had left the Government service some time ago. Bai«*rs of Poultry should use Nimmo ajtd IBi.aib's Game and Poux.te,y Meal, which ;s composed of the best ground bones and shells, specially prepared to meet the requirements of the fast-increasing poultry industry. It is made up in 3-f 1 h bags, at Is 0d esck. Ask you? eioiekeeper for &