PATER'S CHATS WITH THE BOYS.

Otago Witness, Volume 12, Issue 2639, 12 October 1904, Page 76

PATER'S CHATS WITH THE BOYS.

EXTRACTS FROM GIPSY SMITH'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

For a change I'll give you to-day a few paragraphs select«d from a most interesting book. "Gipsy" Smith is a pure-blooded. gipsy, "vrho has given up the gipsy caravan life and taken to modern civilised momrers, though they are not in all respects superior to the wandering and open-air life gipsies are so fond of. After giving some interesting details of characteristic gipsy life, he shows how respectful gipsies are to the aged and to their parents. Old folk are affectionately called "Uncle" and "Auntie." He thinks that gipsies are related to the Jevrs. But lam not going to say anymore about- the gipsies, but shall now give a reminiscence or two of "Gipsy's" youth. The first I shall head :

—The Plum Tree. —

I think I could tell some amusing things abcrat these days. My dress consisted of an overall (and it was undsraJl, too), a smock frqick of the sort ifo&t is still used in thp Eastern Counties. When I took this off I was ready for bed. The frock had some advantages. It had pockets which it took a great deal to fill. They were out of signt, and no one could very well tell what was in them. One day I was up a plum tree — ■ a tree that bore delicious Victoria plums. I had filled my pockets with them, and I had one in my mouth. I was in a happy frame of mind, whe-n, lo! at the foot of tlie tree appears the. owner of the land. H© gave m© a very pressing- invitation to> come down. At once I swallowed the plum, in tray mouth, in case he should think I was after his plums. He repeated his pressing invitation to come down.

*' What clto you want, sir?" I asked, in the most bland and innocent tones, as if I had; novev known the taste of plums. " If you come down, ' he said, "I will tell you."

I am not used to climbing up or climbing down, hut I had to come down, because I could not stay up a plum tree for evor, and my friend showed no disposition to go. He said, ''I will wait until you are ready," and I did not thank him for his courtesy. I did not make haste to come down, neither did I do it very joyfully. When I got to the foot of the tree my friend got me by the right ear. There was a great deal of oongraitulatioin in his grip. He pulled me over rapidly §,ud unceremoniously to an* otluei tree*. —

"Do you see that tree?" h& said. "Yes, sir." "Do you see that board?" "Yes, sir." " Can you read it?'* "tto, sir." " Well, I will read it for you : 'Whosoever is found trespassing on this ground will be prosecuted according to law.' " Since that day I have never wanted anybody to explain to rile what "whosoever" means. This memorable occasion fixed the meaning of the- word upon my mind for ever. As the man, however, knew the lad was fatherless, and knew his father to have been an honest gipsy, Gipsy Smith was let off witla a caution, except that the man threw an old boot at him, out of which he had forgotten to take his foot. Of his father, he says: "He* was a fatherly man. He did not believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child. He was fond of -taking me on his knees with my face downwards. When, he made an engagement with me, he kept it. He never broke one. He sometimes almost broke me. If a thrashing was due, one might keep otifc of father's reach all day, but this merely deferred the punishment." — Gipsy's First Trousers.—

This is most amusingly narrated 1 . Here is a paragraph or two about it : As ' I grew older I became ambitious of something better and greater than a smock j frock — namely a pair of trousers. My father did not g|ve a very enthusiastic encouragement to that ambition ; but he told uae^tixaii- if I .was a good boy I should havo a"pair of his. And I was a good boy. My I "'father in those- days stood nearly 6ft high, was broad in proportion, and weighed 15 etone. I was very small and very thin as a child/ but I was bent oh having a pafr of trousers. My father took an old pair of iiis and , cut them off at the knees ; but even then, of 'course, they had to be tacked up. I was a proud boy that day. I took my trousers behind 1 the hedge, so that I might put them on in strict privacy. My father and brother, enjoying the fun, although I did not see it, waited for me en the other- side of the hedge. When I emeiged, they both began to, chaff me. "Rodney," said my brother, "are you going or coming?" He brought me a piece of string and said, "What time does the balloon go up?" And, in truth, when the wind blew, I wanted to be pegged down. I did not like, the fun, but I kept my trousers. £ saw my father's dodge. He wanted me to get disgustedv with them sand to go back to the smock frock-; but I knew that if I went on wearing them he would soon get tired of seeing me in these extraordinary garments and would buy me- a pix>per pair." • A day oame when we were the guests of the Prince of Wales at San dringham— that is, we .pitched our tents on his estate- .One _<ia.y I helped to catoh some rabbits, and these trousers turned out to be very useful. - In fact,' immediately, the rabbits were caught , the trousers became a pair of fur-lined »arznents ;■ for I carried them Lorne 1 inside °the trousers. / ■■ • ' " - .. To exclude, with, "here are a couple of , jingles from an American paper : —The "Keep-a-Tryin"' Signboards.-i **My boy," said Uncle Hiram, "you'll soon be • ' starting out J ' , - To drive o'er Life's long roadway, and oft a bit of doubt •IWill puzzle you completely- as to which you'd . bast pursue ~* . Of branching ways when roads fork out, as they're inclined to do. Each bears.the equal marks of well worn travel, ' like as Jiot, And so one's undecided which he'd better ? , choose to trot. j But I have learned the route, my boy ; and this . much I'll confess — The 'Keep-a^tryin" signboards mark the highway to Success. , | "The road that runs thorough Waitingville has prospects bright and fair When first you start: but farther on it leads ■Sfrrough swamps of Oare, ' \ And after that you'll have to climb the wear? ! hill of Debt"; , ; Then, still beyond, there looms in view thetollgate o-f Regret. And so, my boy, when, starting ort the road of Life, alone^ The route your Uncle Hiram chose I trust you'll make your own And heed his plain directions if you'd quite avoid distress; The ' Keep-a-tryin' ' signboards mark the highway to Success." . i . —"What I? Ice."—

"Lucy, what is. ico?"'the teacher said ' To the small girl standing at the "head, / Who twisted each finger and wiggled each toe, Then blushingly said : "I/guess I'don't know." Then. up went the hand of rosy -cheeked May. "Well," said the teacher, "what do you cay?" As if telling &.' secret" that was' too nice to keep, May -answered : " It's water that's gone sound ...asleep." -