A Coffee-pot Conspiracy.

Otago Witness, Issue 2623, 22 June 1904, Page 77

A Coffee-pot Conspiracy.

—The Tale of a Fo'c's'le Rebellion.—

At "The Anchorage," in South street, they're asking what\ become of "Liverpool Jack." They miss nim down there, not so much because they liked liim, but because !he growled so well. He was always a "kicker," this "Jack," and it wasn't so long ago that he stirred the "stove watch" with a high and mighty plan for reconstructing the merchant service generally. There was a time when he was an ornament and a credit to a certain steamer plying between this port and Galveston, but he's looking for another situation now. Ho was employed in the capacity of pantryman, and, tcoo late to exculpate Jhim, the inside facts of his downfall are at last common talk along the waterfront. And thus runs the yarn:

It seems that this ship's miles did not specify that seamen were to get refreshments and eollaitions at odd *imes between the regular mess hours, but from a time that is not within the memory of man there had been an understanding between the fo'c's'le and the pantry to the effect that a plate of sandwiches should be left exposed near a lee porthole from tha ond ot th© •dog watch till about four b&ils in the morning; in return the pantryman was to be invited for'ard whenever the crow deemed themselves sufficiently secure from interruption, for the time being, to sample certain strictly contraband liquids brought aboard by one mean 3 or other in the last port. Without warning, "Liverpool Jack" undertook to terminate this time-hallowed custom during the last trip up the coast. He used no ceremony. One night there was no plate of sandwiches, that was all. A meeting was called in the fo'oVie nox* morning, and a committee appointed 4o wait on the eon of Albion for an explanation.

•'This 'ere is all the why an' the wherefore about it," said he; "I ain't a goin' for to be bothered 'andin' out no more whack to the like o' you growlin', grumblin* wart rat 3. Ye bean't satisfied with 'am, ye must 'aye tongue, an' chicken, an', s'elp me, if I gave ye that 1 do believe ye would ■be comin' next fer salad an' charlotte rooges. Out wi' the lot o' ye 1 Ye'H get no more while I'm on this 'erei packet."

This was adding insult to injury, but, in the absence of a definite plan of retaliation, and hoping -that he might relent before night, the io'c's'le suspended action. But there was no weakening of "Liverpool Jack's" determination, and no plate of even the despised ham rewarded the hand that stretched in through the lee port that night. The particular hand that was disappointed belonged to a seaman of more than ordinary mental resources. He assumed' an easy attitude along the rail and cogitated. One of "Liverpool Jack's" chief duties was the care of the coffee steamer, one of those big, nickel-plated affairs familiar to the patrons of quick-lunclt resorts. Invariably the last thing before turning in lie drained it off, refilled the cheese-cloth bag with freshly-ground coffee, and, in the morning, had only to pour in water and turn on the eteam. The steam from the coffee, by the way, escaped through a little pipe in the deck.

The sailor was in possession of all these facts. Seeing no one in the saloon, he ran back to the fo'c's'le, dived into his kit, and drew forth three packages of cub plug. He surveyed them lucfully; it was an heroic sacrifice, but it would be repaid by the result. Quickly he returned to the pantry, slid the top off the steamer, and then, hauling up the coffee bag, opened it, and mingled his precious "baccy" with the contents. He then put everything in order, and went back on watch with the conscious ness of a good deed well dene.

"Liverpool Jack" was at his post at four bells in the morning, losing no time in getting the coffee steamer under way. His first callers were generally the captain and first oiiicer, and the pantryman's coffee had ■been the subject of high offioial criticism more than onoe. On the last occasion the captain 'had registered a vow in heaven to maroon him on a desert shore the next time the coffee fell below the standard quality. By the time the mixture had been cooking long enough to draw out the full richness of its fia\our, the two offioers appeared. "Liverpool Jack" drew off two oups, and admired the unusually fine colour of tihe 'brew as he stirred in the cream and laid •his offering before the dignitaries.

"By George," said the captain heartily as he balanced the cup in his hand, "if there's anything I liks it's a good cup of coffee." So saying, he gulped down about half a pint without stopping; then he paused *o take in the full gravity of the outrage. The pause was brief, but it was long enough to permit the first officer to imbibe the major part of his dose. It was a moment or two before they recovered the use of articulate speech, but when -they did they moved by a common impulse, very (rapidly, in the direction of the pantry. Just what happened is noithe-r here nor there, but when tho vessel tied up at her jpier in the North liner the next morning tho first man ashore was the iconoclast and the violator of traditions, "Liverpool Jack." — E. H. G., in New York Evening Post.