Badly Begun.

Otago Witness, Issue 2622, 15 June 1904, Page 79

Badly Begun.

"I once visited, as a traveller for a London firm of ironworker?, a certain small South American republic/ narrates a businesslike Briton. "Arriving at the capital, I concluded that I should s&e the President, and g&t a- Government contract for a beginning. I went io the executive mansion, and while I was c^livii xay heels in the ante- room a fat little man waddled in. dT=s;ed m short jacket and embroidered knee breeches, which I took to be a species of livery. He> had exactly the air of an impudent, overfed house servant, and ho looked at me in a way that angered me. " 'Hi ! boy !' I said, sharply ; 'how long must I wait here?' " 'How should I know 2' he retorted, with

a chuckle. 'If it doesn't suit you, you can go.' •'This was too much. Jumping \xp, I seized him by tha collar and rushed him out of the room. Half a minute later a squad of soldier* ran in and placed me under arrest, and then I learned that the supposed lackey was the Minister of Public Instraction. Of course, I got no contracts in that State, and it took both the American and British consuls to keap me out of gaol."

But . Alexander Dumas fils was once dining at Marseilles with a Dr Gktal, a man who was eminent in his profession. "My dear friend," said the host, as they passed from the dining room into tho drawing room for the. coffee. "I know that you improvise most beautifully. Cau'd you not write me a verse in my album?" "With pleasure," replied the author; and, taking the album offered him, be wrote: Since Dr Gistnl of renown Practises, all pain has ceased ; The hospitals have been torn down— The doctor, who was looking over th© shoulder of the writer, exclaimed, with joyous effusion, "Oh, but you flatter _ me; you flatter me ! I do not merit io ! "But waiS a moment," remarked Dumas, and finished with the line: But ccmeeteries have increased.