CLANCY INTERVIEWS THE PREMIER,

Otago Witness, Issue 2604, 10 February 1904, Page 72

CLANCY INTERVIEWS THE PREMIER,

AND THEY DISCUSS IMPORTANT

MVTTERS OF IMPERIAL INTEREST.

Clancy was busy shifting his goat to a fresh bit of pasture, on the Town Belt, when who should como along but Terry M'Guirk. "Good e-ve-nin', M'Guirk, Gifctin' hoam?" " Same to ye, Clancy. Are yez givin' the goat a bite ay fri*h gra as?"

"Te'vo shtruck it in wan hit, Terry. leee ye are an observer, as mo frind, Profissor Spincer Davud, wud caay. Thot's roight, mo bhoy; make yerpilf comfurrtable," says he, as Terry threw down his tools and seated himself on a boulder.

" Well, Olaney," said he, aa he filled his pip©, "an' what's friah in pollytios?"

'•Terry, oukl man, ii's me oi\n opinyan that we're on the slippery edge ov a thumpin' big fight. " "A foight, Clancy? "Who wid? Th' Dhrainage Board?" "No, no, M'Guirk — wid Roo?hy an' th' graate Pow'rs."

" 0 wpII, th?t'<s all loight, so long' 6me job's saafP'. I ain't afread o' Rooshy, no toime, so long's the weather's cold an' him froze up in the Meddyt&rraynyan."

" Git out ay it, M'Guii'k, ye-'ve as much, brains aa a black hin. It's the loikes of ye that's kep' Homo Rule out ay' th' Oukl Sod. As the Praymier scd to me th' p.fckgo:

noight, sez he How Id on a> minut9s Terry, how Id on !"

But the errragod 1 Terry liad grabbed hia tools, and with Tag© in his eye he glared &ts Clancy, and said: "Ye called m.9 a hin, did 1 ye? An' d'ye ixpict me to ehtand by an' hear mesilf shlandered and blaggard'edj by the loikes of yez, with impeccuniosity, anyhow?"

"No offince, Terry ; no off] nee f Phwat' Oi ccd 1 waz only a pollytical figger ay' speeeb in. a manner of shpaking betune yez an' meeilf. Have a dhrop ay' this lotion, Terry. Th' barman tills me whisky Is ai grand micro-be killer for th' shmallpox." " That's thrue, annyhow, Clancy. Thim' doothora an' probkionists are enough to dhrive wan into th' "aylum wid ther cow limp an' — phwat did 1 yo s-aay about th' war in/ Rooshy, Clancy?"

" Oh, that waz wan ay' th' topics me an*' th' Praymoer waz discuesin' whin he waa down this way last. Ye kfeiow he's alhvaaya open to see wan of hiz ould diggin' collai|3 frim th' Wifit Coa?t, an' as soon, as he) knowed I wor waitin' to hoy a wurrd widl him, he sez ter th' dippytations, that wor waitin' tin deep f'r him, moiud ye, sez he ter thim, 'Toim'a up, gents. Oi'll be engaged wiH Impayrial matters ay' greafe urgincy till 3 a.m. An* I'll be at yer sarvica jit 5.41,' eez he. " 'Clancy, me -Jewel,' sez he, 'how goea ut,' ho sez, whin I shuk hands wid him. 'I thought,' sez he, 'ye'd be along to tcime az soon as ye caw how th' oafc jumped with, th' prifferintial t-ariff, an' th' yaller aggerney in th' Thransvaal,' sez he. 'I'm gladi ys've come, Clancy, f'r I'm terrabul 1 anxiou^' eez he, 'an' I want to hoy yer advice,' he says, sez he. 'Well,' eez Oi', 'phwat iz ut to be — war or no war?' sez Oi.

"' 'Oim in favour, Clanoy,' sez he, ov a Whito Empire,' sez he, 'wid prifference to unionists,' sez he.

" " Faugh-a-ballagh !' ccz Oi. Ye're a jaynius, annyhow.'

"'Haierimy, Kumarra, aky, aky !' sez he.

" ' Where's the dayoantor"/' sez Oi, 'an' I'll dhrink yer helt' ay' ut. "Wlyn Oimi Praymeer there won't be euch a long toima between dhrinks,' sez Oi, givin' him th.' wink.

" 'Excuse me, Clancy. No whisky for sne,!' he sez. 'There's throubl© ahead, an' no water hot,' sez h«. 'There's aH thim ray>turned fchroopers thrown back on me hande, widout visible manes ay support. An' theei* sis'tersan' oou&ins an' a*nts a ncein' roundi fur soft snaps. Theer's Ohamberlaini a-lookin.' backward, an' Balfour',9 got spavin' en shtringhalt, or summat, I'm towld. An/ th' pro-Boers are fast gittin' thur seekindi wind, an' goin' shtrong. Howly shnakcG, Clancy, ms bhoy, ef th' appindysightus gita a howlfc o' me before Chamberlain gita things fixed up again, th' bol+om'll ba knookedi clane out uv' pollytics; ochone, o oh one!'

" 'Cch ! "he aisy, now, Allannah,' sez Oi.i 'Ye hey a lot tru be> proud ay,' Oi sez'Shure an' didn't ye invent th' ImpayreaK sintimint, an' th' eight hours a day? An,' who waz ufc thot invintedi th' Monro doothrini an' saved th' Bank ay' New Zayland frum/ film' its ehovfil, Oidi loiko tv know? Oi' wud,' Oi sez, sez Oi. 'Thin yez hay th' San: Francisco mail earvioe, an' th' prifferintijilf. tarriff, an th' Coronaahun Oath, an' th' poll tax on Chinymen ; an' who shtoppedl th,'' war in South Africy ef ye didn't, Oid loiko tv know?' sez Oi. 'Yure shpictadkuls air. sizes too shrnall fry er capaeeity.' Oi sez. Thwafc yez shud do iz becum Minister fir JLiands an.' Trisury, an' Warr in Soutli Africy confusciate th' mowl blissud lot ay' th' land! thot th' Empire bought wid 1 blood an' taxes', an' eittlo th' peeple on th' land, Diok, me bhoy. Ef ye turra th' Colonial Instityuta into a vithrans' hoam, an' th' Cavenshaml baoracks in£b r a hoam f'r decayed milrynnares, kick out th' Chinase, an Nationalina South Africy, th' statyute ay' Liberty'll ba a fool to th' wan th' peepul '11 put up f'r yez,, Dick. Thrust th' peepul,' sez Oi, 'thrust th'peepul, an' they'll shtiok to yez, me bhoy.' " Oi cud see Oi waz wurrkin th' cometneir over 'im, an' he begani to look koind ay mcßmerisedi loike; thia all ay a suddint ha sez to me, in his Tmpayreal tone ay voice, sez he.

"■ 'Sure, Clanoy, an' didn't Oi thry to da all ay ufc? Faith, an' wud' ay done it all on me own ay they'd only given ane half a show. But me frind, Chamberlain, eez to nic, sez he, "Oi'm afraid, Misther Siddon, that yew'r© great Impayrea/li3m is nofi thorowly undhershtood an' appre-eahentudl a3 ut shud be, an 1 Oi'm afra;d we're too Consarvative to take advantrujeav anrrycommonsen.^e proposals onless it be colonial/ throops and chape mate. Verse©,r se©, MistheiSiddon," sez he, "Our first consideration musfi be th' bondholders, th' wans thot hay ua mortgaged, so to ehpake, an' we can't afford! to away capital wid l wiiitc<" labour an' eight hours a day nonsense. Chinymen/ will wuiTuk twinty hours f'r tinpince an,' 1 nivver wants fo vote. Think ay ut, ma bhoy," sez he — "no labour unions, no shtrikes, an' no votes! Divil a thing to do buti gather in diveydinds. Ay th' Boena only, ehtuok \o Chinymerj. instud ay whoite min I ,' they d hoy been on top now; but the whiteman got him down, an' wo must be warned an guided be th' expayreunees ay th' pasr., brood-bye, and bong voyage," sez he, aa he. dhrops hiz eyeglass an' walks into a fried' fish shop, lavm' me to shtand gapin' loika a looney. Thin OL packs me thrunk, an.' Oi! thinks to myself k' s better f'r me to be a big gun in a. httle country than a popgun/ ma big wan, wherre a man is no olaas onless he s a foreign prince or his ancessthers oatna over wid William th' Conkerror,' sez he, wid a fine bit ay timper in hie eye. 'Shure, an' its the shortsightedness ay it all, Clancy.' eez he, 'that meks me tired,' sez he. 'Hera have Oi bin shlavin away thrying to coneolidate th' Empire into wan homogeeniousi whole, as me frind, th' Duke, -mid saayy until Oi've nearly lost ma character as a; Libbyral dimmycrat. Oi wurrked noighti an daay sinding away throops— th.' flower avth' land, they wor, Clancy, as ye know— ?.V wo fixed them up wid iverything ay th' bist, from choo'late dhrops to nurses and) chaplains, an' whin th' warr is over they'rei dumped back agin to fill th' hospitals wid! anntrax, an' German measles, ay all things in the wurrld, to say nothing about shmailpox an' that tired feelm'. Oi till ye, Clancy/ 6cz he, 'me blud byte 3,' sez he. 'Hero am, Oi worrited to death by thim probitionkfg whoile our fellow counthryruon ara fhratnpin' around South Afrioy loi'ke vaglants, dyin' f'r a job. An' whoy, Clancy?* sci he, wid his voice roarin' loiko a lion. " ' Bekase,' spz Oi, 'ay th' unsettled staate ay th' Rand, Oi mppose,' sez Oi. " 'Divil a bit ay ut, Clancy,' se^z he. 'Bodad, an' it's bekase ther not Chmymen. an' nothing else,' sea he. "If Oi had 10,000 Chinkies Oi cud mek me fortin' in th' Thranevaal a^ a, coutiH-astar. i» nn time at

all at all,' sez he. 'An' faix, Clancy,' eez he, laffin, sez he, 'ye'd nick a foine gaffc-r over a gang.' "We both had a good laff, an' Oi waz rayohin over fur th' daycantw whin, his privato siccritary oponii th' dura in pa.yjammers an' eez, sez ho, 'M'sther Siddon, sir,' eez he, 'there's a deppytayshun awaitin' outei.de> from th' Otaygo Cinthral Railway Layge, an' they would loiks to meet you about matthers ay importance before brikfu.;t.' " "Show th' gintlenun in, mo bhoy,' sez he. 'Oi'll be delighted to see thim. E?tcuee me, Olancj ,' sea he ; ' but call agin army owld toime, an' we'll have a yarrn,' sez he. An' wid that Oi "withdrew, as tho rayporthere se« in th' papers. What div ye think o' that, JU'Guirk?"