The Clown's Advice.

Otago Witness, Issue 2569, 10 June 1903, Page 77

The Clown's Advice.

X r&&.x, desperately ia love, onco sought & philosopher for a cure : "I have had," eaad the man, "about all I ran stand of this sort of thing. Between terrific quarrels and midnight malae-ups, I'm about dead; I want to^ withdraw witl\ lionour and a whole skin."

"Your case is a pathetic one," said the philosopher. "My ad\ioa to you iv to study the workings of your

own mind. You will find then that what you deem real ie only, after all, the phenomena of be.ng. This creature that you love is in reality only an illusion, a subjective projection, and exists only in terms of empirical consciousness. After awhile, by reflections of this eort, you will rise above such folly." So the man went away and began to reflect upon the transcendental aesthetic, and the properties of space and time. But he found the relief was only temporary, for when the girl came and put her arms around his neck he was as badly off as ever. So in despair he went to a, wise man. "I'm, in- love," he said, '"and don't like it. I want to be calmer and do things worth while." "Study astronomy," said the wise mam. "After you have been at it for a while your own insignificance will appal you. You ,and your girl will fade away. Then when you come bat<k to earth, take care to bring only yourself." So the man looked at the star?. But there w-ae the girl behind him, with her 6oft hands in his hair, and at last he gave it up. "What are a few mere planets," he cried, "compared with her caresses?" And then he waa obliged to aeVaiow ledge that still he was not his own master. And after the next quarrol he went to an alchemist. "Mix me a, drug," he said, "that will cure me (of 10-vc." The alchemist smiled. "My friend," he replied, "to he candid with you. a great ninny fine stories have been floating around about sundry old potions for this purpose, but they are all quack remedies. The cmly cure I know of ,is prussie acid." The man smil-d grimly. "I .don't want to die quite yot," he said. "I want to get rid of this' love feeling. It's tho woir>t agony I ever experienced. It blows hot and it blows cold." "Well," said the alchemist, "go and ask that clown over yonderi Maybe he'll tell you." / So the man went to the clown and told his story. "Want to know |the arswer?" the clown, grinned, as he puffed a machine-made cigarotte. "Ye?, yes," said the, man, impatiently. "Marry the girl," said the clown. — Life, N.Y.