"D—n All Other Denomination".

Otago Witness, Issue 2556, 11 March 1903, Page 71

"D—n All Other Denomination".

In a recently-published book, "Episodes of Rural Life," by W. E. W. Collins, the author's etory of the toast proposed in-voluntarily-by an old admiral^ and drunk with gusto at a cricket dinner, is very funny. - Sharnbrook. was .' a 1 '.good old "Church and State" parish, but.a compara- , 'five" tfewcoiheif Bei&j^rrafTtip-'fo'pTopowrtlie-toast of the "The-Rector," was ill-advised -

enough' tc add, "and ministers of all denominations."

"Hey, heyj what's all that tomfoolery?" exclaimed the admiral. "The rector — that's right enough. Here's health and a long life to you, Latham; but it was the rector, , and the what? — eh, you, sir, speak up." "And the ministers of all other denominations," explained the speaker, a comparatively newcomer in our parish, imperfectly acquainted with our traditions, and more highly educated in the ever-changing ways of the world than, perhaps,' any member of the audience could boast to be.

"Ministers — otheV denominations ! What the devil is the fellow talking about? Look here, ladies and gentlemen,- there is some mistake about this. Our frjend here, Mr "Bacchus, may be a devilish good fellow and a d d fine speaker for all I know to the contrary, though he would never do to command a man-of-war ip windy weather; and I daresay," this by way of parenthesis, "time he don't know the difference between one of her Majesty's ships and a coal-hulk. But" — and here he again elevated his voice — i "he is what you would call a stranger in | these parte, new to our parish and this sort of thing, and he don't understand our toasts. So . I'll just, as they say in * the House of Commons, put the previous question. 'Here is Church,' and State .jgnd— d-^n" all other denoiffiriations. , Your -'-good' ' Tiealth," Latham," and amid tumultuous applause" the -admiral, having drained -bis glaes, resumed his Reat. • ' * Whether or not at the moment he really intended the condemnation of dissenters to" be Included in the toast, 'I ..cannot pretend to say, though he declared himself after--wards that he had not so intended. But oh the word, every farmer and labourer in the tent, led by a stout, well-to-do grazier, who, in virtue of his position as parish churchwarden and the possession of a stentorian voice," generally acted as fugelman on these occasions, was on his legs d ning all other denominations with a rough-and-ready enthusiasm which must have commended itself to the dear old rector's heart of hearts, even though, as in duty bound, he elected to appear scandalised. "Oh, dear me, dear me — this won't do at all!" he exclaimed. "My dear friends, thank you, Mr Brown, thank you,. Mr Evans," bowing- all round- the table as one man after the othei drank his health and called his name. "It really is hardly right, 'live in charity,' you know, 'with all men,' 'beware of" evil speaking and profane swearing,' you know: thank you, John Atkins — thank you, kind friends. But* oh dear me, I am sorry it should' have happened," and presently I heard him remonstrate with the admiral. "I really have known some very worthy men in the dissenting class, my dear admiral, very excellent fellows according to their lights." "D d bad lights, then." replied 1 the admiral with much promptitude. 'Tve heard people' say that some Frenchmen are very , decent ' fellows' when., you know them ; but I don't know any myself, my dear sir, and, ' what ie more, I ' don't want to. I hate the lot of them, and dissenters too : I rather think" they are the worst of the two, a set of downright mutinous' scoundrels. I'd like to have one or two' of them on, board a man-of-war.; they wouldn't dissent much "after the first 'week, sir,' I can promise you/* ' " '