Poor Mr TiR.

Otago Witness, Issue 2528, 27 August 1902, Page 73

Poor Mr TiR.

"Is there anything in the paper?" asked Mrs Tiff of her husband, who had been monopolising the Evening Bugle. "No," replied Mr Tiff. "It seems to me that you are taking a long time to read nothing. Suppose you hand it to me ; perhaps I can find something in ir."

'"Well, here is something which may interest you. A man in Chester refused to pay kis wife's funeral expenses, and the undertaker sued him for the money. The court decided that a husband must pay for his wife's burial. What do you think of taking a case like that to court?" "I should think the moan man ought to be ashamed of himself," declared Mr? Tiff emphatically. "So should I," assented Mr Tiff. "The idea of a man not wanting to pay for his wif&'s funeral ! I should have thought he would have been perfectly delighted to " "John Henry Tiff, what are you saying?" demanded the gentleman's wife. "Oh, of course, I didn't mean that, you know. I" mean that he should consider it a sacred duty to give his wife respectable burial, and pay for the same cheerfully " "Mr Tiff, do you really mean that he — that you, for instance, would pay my funeral expenses cheesfully?" "That isn't exactly what I mean, my dear. You don't understand what I am tiying to say." "I understand perfectly what you are saying, Mr Tiff. You tell mo that you wish I were dead ; that you would pay my funeral expenses cheerfully; that you would be perfeotly delighted to have the opportunity — 'perfectly delighted' were .your very words, John Henry Tiff, and I think you are a wicked man."

"Oh, now, look here," protested Mr Tiff, "you know very well that what I said wouldn't bear any such construction if you weren't so ready all the time to find occasion to scold me." "You needn't try to defend yourself, for you can't do it. You said you'd think that a man ought to be delighted to have the chance to pay for his wife's funeral. It's enough to make any self-respeoting woman go and commit suicide, so _it is. And I'd go, too, much to your satisfaction. Oh, why, oh, why, did I ever think that I could love such a wretch a a voii?" At this point Mrs Tiff bun>t into tears, and r Tiff put on his hat and walked out of the house.