Some Schoolboys' Essays.

Otago Witness, Issue 2509, 16 April 1902, Page 71

Some Schoolboys' Essays.

The old method of composition was to ask the lads to write on some subject, without, very often, previous preparation, and the result was ludicrous in the extreme. Below ore a few of the most amusing examples from their essays : — A Shipwreck. — A shipwreck is an awful thing, for sometimes you get wet and sometimes you get dround, and sometimes you get burnt but the last is the worst. Once a bis lyner got upset with a mortal wound in her side but all the people was saved bar one and lie got eat. Sharks and whale? feed on dead bodies and sometimes they eat them alive. We should never eat fish what eat us because their canybals just like savages. Sailors catch sharks with a leg of pork and a thick string which they cut up for whalebone bone and blubber to make train oil. The Came! — He is called the ship of the desart because he runs over the sand like a ship and don't sink in. He runs different to th< horse because he lifts up two legs on one side of his body and then two on the other. He has about a hundred stumios and each holds about a quart so when his master kills him he can have a good drink. His hump is made of fat, and he eats this, when lit- cant get grns-s or hay. Some camels are not camels hecauaft lie has two humps and his hair dont grow all over him and were it doiH is tailed oaluses (callccities) because it kneels clowa and wears away. The Arab loves his steed better than his wife and in our books theres a piece about him called thp Arab and h:s steed. His master was a piisoner and his faithful camel took him round the waist and bore him swiftly to his morning friends. The Crusades. — The crusade? were a body of men women and children who followed the- red cross. They were invented by Richard the I and flocked in thousands round him to go to Egypt and some were stricken with deadly disease, but they marched on. Then they began t-o lessen in number and fell gradually under the burning sands of Kgypt and laden with heavy am our. At Peter the Hermit cited Cairo but the Catliolicks bore down on him and lie retreated. After travelling about for many weary months he joined an opera company aud was afterwards buried in Westminster Abbey. Marriage in Strange Lands. — (Thie subject was given after a reading lesson on the same.) Mnrriage is a lottery my mother says so and I shall never get married. Fathers been married to my mother twentysix years and last year they had a silver wedding, this means they got married again to inak>B sure. If they live long enough he's going to have a gold one-. My fathers only got one wife, but the Morgans have hundreds. I dont want *uch a lot of mothers because you catch plenty of waekings arid our teacher told us that Mr Bockon said thos"e who have lots of wives and little boys giv-e hosts to fortune but I dont knew what that means. Water. — It is a liquid so is beer and milk but the first is called a lickei because its adulterated that is sugar and hops are added Water is very useful, ships float on it ani men and boys .swim in it, we also drink it and in summer boys use it to wash their faoes. Sea water is salt and is useful for all kinds of fish such as cod and wales and breem and trout. Rain is water and is kept in old tubs and barrels to v. ash dirty clothes. — From " Boys and Their Wa3's." by a Schoolmaster, in the Spectator. i