PASSING NOTES,

Otago Witness, Issue 2509, 16 April 1902, Page 5

PASSING NOTES,

(From Saturday's Daily Times.)

Mr Seddon at Christohurch presents himself to me in two aspects ; the first, as striking the stars with his sublime' head, — iwhieh is probably his own notion too ; the other, as the blinded Samson making sport for his captors, — which will be the notion of Mr Barclay and all pro-Boers, with .possibly no small section of the Labour ■party. Who piesided at the Chn«tchurch function? Sir John Hall, the head and front of old-time " Conseivatism," as we are asked to call it. What was his exordium? That Mr Seddon's politics had been bad, his legislation worse, his administration worst of all. This? opening frankness Sir John quab'fied iby no word of recantation ; Sir John Hall therefore stands where he always stood — and with Mr Seddon in rapturous agreement by his side. It seems to follow that iMr Seddon does not now stand where he always stood. Nor does he. The war, which in van ing degree has educated [CVCI_\ bocH , most of a!! has e<lui_aterl Mr Seddon It has educated him out of parochialism into Imperialism. He now stands for King and Flag and Empire, for ■large ideas, world-embracing policies, the .supremacy of the British race. In short, he stands by the side of Sir John Hall. 1 don't say that there was not always a latent sympathy, or possibility of sympathy, between the two on questions of the laiger patnoti«m. But, absorbed in the manipulating of his wretched party machine, Mr Seddon had neither time nor heart for things of wider scope. His present high-stepping Impel lahsm is stnctly a j'ecent growth. What it moans may be judged from the company into which it has brought him.

'"They knew him too well to attnbute lils action to selfish motives.'' Well, yes; I agree Mr Seddon is a Bnton like" the <rest of u« ; about the war and the Empire he feels as we all feel. Yet tiie iemjrk onay be peimitted that the wai and the Empire have done very well for him. He is going to the Coronation in all t lie state «md consequence of a semi-rojalty. The Coronation miirht almost be Jus own Sometimes, perhaps he half feels that it is.. Street boys in Wellington, a correspondent writes to me. are interpreting the "E.R "' of the new- royal monogram now being set Tip over the Post Office there a* intended for '" Emperor Richard." Not io wild a gues-i, considering all they see and hear "Richard goes to London a^ plain Rich.ud ; in what quality, under a\ hat designation, will he come away? If he want-- a title, he may have it; a colonial Governorship, — that, for leasons unnecessary to *-tate, might be more difficult ; yet. who can say? J should consider it only poetical justice on Mr Seddon' *• Australian detractors if he were made Governor-General of the Conimomveoltli. If not a title, nor a Governorship, then certainly a life pension. Such ban:? the outlook, it «eems to me that Mr Seddon's ur.'-tlli'-h politics ha\e done pietty v. ell for him The most sclfi-h polities couldu'l have don 1 , bttlt-r. Cor trait with ithfc lar,£e £ep.ero&Hy he is receiving for

merely doing his duty the miserable pettiness that dominates his own .spirit in local (politics. William Rolie«ton and Sir John Hall are patriots as good as he ; they have eerved New Zealand as long and as faithfully. A Premier with any due sense of justice, not to speak of generosity, would long since have called them both to the Upper House. But not that kind of Premier is Richard Seddon. It delights me to •see that Sir John Hall has had the satisfaction of heaping coals of fire upon his head.

What conceivable use can there be at this time of day and on this side of the globe in descanting on the ancient wrongs of Ireland? The periodic jeremiads of J. /Church, Oamaru. on this theme serve no purpose but to advertise the perfectly futile discontent of J. Church. Irishmen themselves, colonial Irishmen, must be tired of Jiearing their country commiserated. Granted that at wake 01 wedding they may sing of her still as The most distressful country that ever yet was

.=een. For they're hanging men and women for th* wearni' of the green. The colonial Scot will in like manner protest, musically, that Charlie is his darling, will lament for the Flowers of the forest that are a' weed away, and will inform (Scots wha ha'e wi' Wallace bled that Noo's the day and noo's the hour, Noo resist proud Edwnrd's power — etc . etc. Harmless sentiments, these, all of them. Neither Scot nor Irishman have at present any sane motive to resist proud Edward's power, and are quite well aware of the fact. The Irish, were it not for agitators whose trade it is to breed strife, might be as contented and as prosperous as any other population in the British Isles. They have just as large a liberty, just as few grievances. We don't hang people nowadays for wearing of the green. And, if we did at one time, the wearers of the green, given the chance, would have done tlhe same by us or worse. As for the actual feeling of Ireland to-day towards the Empire, judge it not by the political larrikinism of the Redmonds or Healy&, nor by the lamentations of J. Church; judge "it by &uch facts as the following, which are authentic : — Alore than a year ago Miss Maud Gonne, a rabid apostle of treason, appealed to mothers in Ireland to do all in their power to prevent their sons becoming soldiers of the King, the league declared that all who joined the army would become outcasts for ever, and the curse would descend to the fourth generation. The answer of Dublin district has been a record recruiting year. When the recruiting returns are issued, they will show an advance of 12 per cent, over the previous 12 months in the numbers engaged for the legulpr s>rmy, rud 8 per cent, for tho militia. Elsewhere" throughout Ireland recuiting has been well up to the average. In Dublin distnet alonp 1209 men joined the tegular army, and 1014 the militia. In addition, ivithin five months, 400 applications from candidates for the South African Constabulary were dealt with, and 257 men finally accepted , and 157 men joined the Imperial leomanry. Recruiting is still brisk, both for the regular army and the militia. JJy way of comment the Pall Mall Gazette SAys : The returns will scarcely pleose Mr Patrick Ford, who recently paid attention in the Irish World to recruiting in Ireland. He said : "It is now recognised in Ireland that tho young man who takes the King's shilling brands himself as an infamous traitor to Ireland and the Irish cause His is the unpardonable sin which makes him an object of loathing to his countrymen, and which brings unspeakable disgrace upon his family. The Boer bullet which pierces his heart will rid the world of a. wretch unfit to live in it. ' To this fanatic the recruiting boom is Ireland's answer.

That it should be given to " Goodman Dull "' to lift my eyelids in genuine surprise I should have said was a thing incredible. Nevertheless he has done it. Quoting against me, though apropos of nothing in particular, the "nous avons change tout oela " of Mohcie's '"Mock Doctor," he adds : "Tlie | comiMPi« l «"-! J ri««n Ifoliorp and "Cms, 1 does he mean— ":s the more apposite as this is one of the three French quotations, winch sfne ' Civis ' in place of tho blebsed word ' Mesopotamia,' and as hf always uses it in its literal sense, which is far from what Mohere intended '' I "ahvay» u-e it in its literal stn-e"'— l who never u^e it at all ! Not within living meinoiy has tins phrase been seen in Passing Notes,— of that I'll take my 'davy. Yet it is " one of the three French quotations which fcerve ' Civ is ' in place of that blessed word Mesopotamia."' .And what, pray, are the othei two? Respecting the "liteidl," as distinguished from the non-literal, sense of the quotation from Molieie I make no inquiry, resigning that Mibtlety to Goodman Dull ; but, on the other point— the three French quotation*! to which I am always returning .md which constitute my only <-tock and <-tort— l feel a natuial curiosity. For, ax a matter of fact, I do not quote French at all. If amongst the affeciations of the dull pedant and the hteiaiy tyro I find one more detestable than another, it is that of garnishing their sentences with worn-out tag*, of Flench <md Latin English i.-> good enough for me In accusing me of a vice that I hold in special adveiMon my thick-witted friend must, I suppose, have intended to be funny. Gentle dulness ever loves <i joke. And the point of a dullard-, joke is usually that it lids no point Why is Cobb's coach like .i teapot? Because it can't climb a nee. the point. I put it to Goodman Dull; — docs he ,see the point? This is a celebrated American conundrum ; surely he ought to see the point. Yet lam afraid I .shall have to explain it to him ; — the point is that there is no point. And that precisely is the joint in his joke about " Civis's. " French quotations.

Mr William Hutchison, in Friday' 1 - Daily Time*, eoun-eK me to be "not haul on -•lull people." But tli.it 1^ to bung in a question of fact, and I mi«ht dispute it ; - am I evei liard on dull peojjle-'.' Mi lluUlu son's humane adwee SL-enis latliti to be; that question. Howevei. I i unu d* that

dulncss, if content to lie- low and appear no better than it is, should be let alone 01J handled tenderly. The case is different with dulness become pretentious and aggres-* sive. A Goodman Dull posii'g as "His< toricus " is pre-ordained to pin-piicks; and I should have expected of Mr Kutchison, who is not without a caustic Scottish humour of his own, that he would see this. On the contrary, he appears to have a sneaking belief m my Goodman Dull's scholarship for no better reason than that a Goodman Dull he is. " Most mere scholars a o dull people/ May be; but the "mere" scholar is invariably the poor scholar, 'i^e man who knows one subject only in reality knows none. This little disputation that I have had with Goodman Dull turned altogether on a radical defect of scholarship, not mine but his. A " saltus," in the sense of a " pass," is not necessarily a. gorge, or slit, between hills ; it may be a track leading over the saddle of a range. Over such a saddle escaped the Carthaginian inny — over "the ridge of Calicula." Once this fact is recognised there remains no room for disputing as to the- use the Carthaginian general made of his cattle. Mr Hutchison may be right in his belief that " mere scholars '' are usually dull ; but let him beware of supposing that in a dispute on some question of scholarship th« duller man is necessarily the better scholar.

By way of illustrating the regimental aliases current in the British army a London paper introduces some of tfhem intc an imaginary telegraphic despatch. The work of the convoy has evoked tin warmest praise from the general commanding. The Coalheavers, the Blind Half-Hundred, Sanguinary Sweeps, and Dirty Shirts did splendid bayonet work when the enemy attempted to rush the waggons, and Pontius Pilate's bodyguard put in some steady and well-directed volleys that completely routed the Boers. The Murdering Thieves are loud in their praises of how we sa\'ed their waggons. After the action the Linseed Lancers, who had moved about in the firing lin^ with a coolness and valour well up to the traditions of their corps, had a busy time looking after the casiialties. The mystified public's first notion would be that these were epithets made in Germany ; but they are native growths strictly, intelligible at once to any army man. A regimental nickname has usually something of satiric humour, something of history. Thus the Grenadier Guards are the " Coalheavers " because at one time the men were allowed to don mufti and work at that trade. The West Kents, Napier's gallant 50th, are the "Dirty Half-Hundred"' because of the colour of their facings, ; why the "Blind Half-Hundred " this deponeth knoweth not. Nor why the King's Boyal Rifles are the " Sanguinary Sweeps," or the 101 st the " Dirty Shirts," or the Ist Royal Scots"'Pontius Pilate's Bodyguard." But the " Murdering Thieves " are an easy synonym for the Military Train, and the "Linseed: Lancer-, ' for the Royal Army Medical Corps. There is want- of imagination in the "Old Five-aiKl-threepennies" for the 53rd( Shropshire, and in the " Old Seven-and-six-pennies " for the 76th West Ridings ; bub the fatter m compensation are known as " The Pigs," from their elephant badge. Other satirical references to uniform and accoutrements are " Tin Ribs,"' the Lifo Guaids; '' Cherubims," 11th Hussars, "because of their crimson overalls" — though it is new to me that the angelic hosts are thus bedight ; " Silvertailed Dandies," the Gloucester ; and there are many more. The Dublin Fusiliers are "The Old Toughs," and, ironically, "The Lambs"; the 93rd Highlanders are "The Thin Reel Line," which needs no explaining; the Middlesex are the " Die Hards," reminiscent of Albuera; the 11th Hussars or " Cherubims " are also the " Cherry Pickers ' because an outpost of theirs was captured in a Spanish fruit garden ; the 11th Devonshires are the " Bloody Eleventh " because they once hanged a butcher who did not give them satisfaction ; the 9th Norfolks are the "Holy Boys" because of their badge of Britannia, which the Spaniards mistook for the Virgin Mary ; another story is that the 9fch are "Holy Boys" bee vise they once sold their Bibles. Nicknames decidedly uncomplimentary are the " Peacf-niikeis." given to the 16th Bedfords because they were late in getting battle honours-, aji'd the "Thou Shalt Not Kill " regiment, which until Omdurman, where they first w ere in action, was the 2lst Lancers. They are now the " Omdurnunfioji. Not to'continue this list, which anight be made as long as the Army List •itself, I want to observe that it is one thing when soldieis nickname each other, quite another thing when civilians attach a name of contempt to the whole army. Thnp i« no ieason to think that the British soldier hkes being called " Tommy Atkins " ; on the umtiary. there is good reason to iii;nk that lie d:s]jke b it exceedingly. Civis.

We l.aye received an inquiry from a member of tiip Fir»t New Zealand Con tin.gent a-- to when the clasps with the engagement- in which they took part are likely to be issued to New Zealanders who have received the South African war medcJ. Our corrr^poiuienfc htate3 that by Canadian papeiv to hand it appears that Canadians have received their clasp-*. On inquiry we learn fiom Colonel Robin that all the clasp rolls and claim* were sent Home som« months ago, and when the War Office forwards the clasp* to New Zealand they will be issued -to the trooper*. It may bo a considerable time before they come. Sihteib Miriam and Winnie, missioned representing the Melbourne Young Women's Christian Association, conducted a highly mccesbful c\ angcM'-tio service at the C.;versham ftapti-t Clinch on Wednesday when th > church was well filled Ejrnest and instructive addrc-se-> were deliveicd by each Sifter; and they .ii-o lvnclnrd t«o i- acred duets, which Ki-iu hiphly appreciated, both Slaters Mn lam .aid Wiiimi' excelling in \ocalism in an iinci inni' n (Wpec The Si-tor^, havo b<-f-ii (.'ih-^'cl to _mp up a projectfd r.f mc'tm,' i:i D'in< dm for the pi c-en t, on .iccfjint "f tin ,i m alth. and will lcavo for th< noit'i '•liuit'j, but hope to spend tho whole of the winter in. thiss colon*.