Such is Fame!

Otago Witness, 6 February 1901, Page 74

Such is Fame!

Miss Ellaline Terriss, the popular London actress, met with an amusing adventure a few weeks ago at the Vaudeville Theatre. Miss Terriss communicated the incident to the Pelican, under the title of "How I started My Professional Career as an Actress Last Monday." It runs as follows — You'll think that an odd statement, I know, and one of a kind that should not be encouraged in the columns of a paper so widely read as yours is, but I have to repeat it, because it's quite true. It happened in this way. You know, I hope, that the Messrs Gatti are going to produce "Alice in Wonderland" at the Vaudeville Theatre at Chri&tmas time, and on Monday last a batch of children, nearly 100 in number, were having their voices tried and being watched dance, so that the cleverest only should be engaged. Naturally, these children all have mothers — I mean theatrical mothers — who not only swell the numbers of persons in a theatre, coming as they do to take care of their little ones, but are often toi us what a printer's devil must be to you — a little trying. Well, there they were, these good ladies, blocking staircases and doorways, and making it quite impossible for me to.

get down to the stage manager at the prompt table. As I stood wedged in near the stage door, a hand was laid upon my shoulder, and the voice of Mr Steadman's choirmaster (I afterwards learned him to be so) shouted :

"What do you want here? Who sent you down?" I replied that no one had sent me down. "Then you have no business here," he replied. "Go away!" And I said to my* elf, such is fame, not even known in the theatre lam acting in. I thought it would be rather fun, so I said : "Oh, please, sir, hear me sing, and I know a little piece of poetry, if you'd hear^me.' "All the 'grown-ups' are engaged," came the answer, "but you can try if you like, you're about the height we want," and so I pushed and got pushed down on to the stage itself, where the children were 'earning the pack of cards dance. Mr husband and Mr Walter Slaughter were at the prompt table, and were coming to greet me when I motioned them not to, and they, seeing something odd was happening, said nothing. "What can you sing"/" asked the choirmaster. "I'll try 'A Little Bit of String, 1 if I may, I replied, and I heard him turn to Mr Slaughter and say : "Extraordinary how they always pick things they can't do." Well, I sang a verse, and a voice said : "All right, that's enough! Just recite 'Old Mother Hubbard.' Mind the h's-." This, I afterwards learned, was a formula. I did so, and I was engaged at 25s a week, and told to go and stand among the rabbits and the lobsters. This I did, and then I began to laugh, and my husband and Mr Slaughter laughed, and then— well, the poor gentleman got very red, and we took him with us to lunch. But, you see, what I said is true — I began again last Monday. The Baffled Clerk. In a country village many years ago the minister of the church kept a clerk to call out the words of the hymns, two lines at a time, for the benefit of the congregation, very few of whom possessed hyinnbooks. The church had no organ, but an old man named Davy Jones accompanied the choir on his violin. The clergyman made a practice of going through /the hymns with his clerk every Saturday so as to choose those that would be suitable to his congregation. One Saturday a hymn chosen had the lines : May our hearts with joy resound Like David's harp of solemn sound. "This won't do, sir,'' said the clerk; "they don't know what a harp is." "What shall we do, then?" said the minister. "I think I can alter it, sir," said the clerk. "Suppose we put it like this: May our hearts be tuned within Like Davy Jones's violin." "Very good," said the minister. But, alas J the time came for the hymn, and the clerk had forgotten his altered version. Nearer and nearer came the two lines, and he was almost in despair, when a sudden idea struck him, and he gave out triumphantly the lines: " May our hearts go hey ! diddle drddle Like Davy Jones's little fiddle!" Pa Tries to Hire a Girl. S. E. Kisee, in Chicago Times-Herald. "I know what I'm going to Do," paw says after He Tried Cooken two Daze when maw was Away Visatun. "I'm agoin to Hire a Gurl. Your maw's always growlen about How hard it is to Hire a Gurl. But I'm a-goin to Sho Her how Blamed easy it is if a purson goes at it Proper." So he put an ad. in the Paper, and the next Evening thay was Three come to see about it. Two of them looked in the place and sed thay Didn't have no Time to make a Bargen then. So paw ast the Last Oneto come in the kitchen and talk about it. She was a Large Gurl with yallow Hare. "Whare's the missus?" she says when She throwed a Cold glance around. "'She's away visatun," paw says. "I guess she must a Been Gone a Long time," the Gurl told pa-v, "By the Looks of Things. How menny you Got in the Fambly?" "Only four," paw Told her. "I 'spose you Don't Count the Dawg and the pigs what's Bin rootin'. around in Here," she says. "Who wa3 your last Gurl, and why Did She Leave?" "I Don't no Her Last name," paw answered. "We Called her Gusty. She Got Sick." "I Should think she would Git sick," the Gurl said purty sassy. "Do you git a woman to come in and Do the W ashen?" "No," paw says Like if He was purty scared. "Well, I mite have knowed that," She told Him. "I guess you Don't Beleave washen's a Good thing around Here. What Do you Do, jist wair your clos till they are wore out?" "Say !" paw Hollered, "I Don't want no Back talk from you. I guess this plais woulden't Soot you ennyway." "That's the Best gess you ever maid in your Life," She says. "I'm used to workin' whare folks is Refined and Lives Decent. I Hope you wouldn't expect enny Buddy to Cook meels on a Old Fashened Stove Like that?" "It Don't make no difference what we would want them to Do," paw told Her. "You Don't Haft to take the job, and the Door whare you come in ain't Locked nei"l Diden't Come heer to Git Insulted," She Sed offel Savidge. '-'I want you to understand you're Talken to a Lady. 1 Spose you^ain't ust to It, But you Better Lern How." „ , Then She lifted up Her dress purty hi and Stepped Over a Stewing pan and a Broken Plate what was Layin on the Floor, and went OU "YW1? Be sorry fer the Brutle way you Spoke to me. . > Paw he Set thare and Wiped the onest Swet from his manly Brow and Looked like if He coulden't remembur what Happened. So after a while He Started to Bake some potatoes with the Skins on. O But I m Sick of Them. That's all we Had to Eat fO p£t7^n S when we was Settin at the Table S.umbuddy Rung the Bell at the "That's anuther Gurl what wants a Job," „«* «S "You go and tell Her to Come Knd y to the Front Door. We'll aast her about it, and thare Stood a feller w"th » Swetfer on and a Cupple o c' ss g r e e's 2££™w£wted my Sister Here a LitSe while ago?" he ast, stepping *?& HHew? e w- about Seven F eafc Hi, or

mebby six and a Half in His Socks. I Felt off el Soiry for paw, so I thot I would go and Tell him about it without waitin to Hear no more. But the Giunt got into the Dinen room about the Same time, and paw wasen't thare. "Ware is the Durty Whelp?" the man Hollered. Then I herd a Door shut purty sudden up Stairs., and I seen a Chanct to Duck out the Frunt way. When I got across the Streat'l stood Behind a Tree and waited to see what was again to Hapen. It was a Long time Before the man Come out Swarm Like a pirut and Throwing Baked potatoes at the Lamp posts as Fur as I could See Him. I went Back when He was out of Site, and snuck up to the lied of the Stares and Hollared ferpaw to come oj.it. After a while Ho opened One of the Bed room Doors and Stuck his hed out purty pale and Arst : "Has he went?" "Yes," I Says. "But I gess He rooned our Supper. Nearly all the Dishes is Smashed on the Floor, and he Diden't Leave a potato." Paw Come Down Stares then and We locked the Doors and Gethered up the peaces, and Paw says : "It was the luckiest thing Ever Happened to That Broot He went When He Did. If He Had of Stayed two minuts more I Coulden't of Held miself in enny Longer. I would of Had to Lick him no matter what it Cost." ' So we ain't got no Gurl yit. GEORGIE.