PASSING NTOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2379, 5 October 1899, Page 3

PASSING NTOTES.

(From Saturday's Daily Times.)

The amiable French recommend the Boers to hurry up with their attack before the British are ready. Thhs advice represents not so much a regard for liberty, equality, and fraternity — principles adorned by French and Boer in equal degree— as a desire to be nasty towards a neighbour ■who has been too uniformly prosperous. Allowances must be made for the French. They have to accommodate themselves to Fashoda, which was a humiliation, and to the Dreyfus affair, which- is an infamy. Until the process of digestion, laborious and painful, shall have completed itself, we may expect to find the French more than usually ill at ease, spiteful, and snappish. A similar excuse may be made for Mr Davitt, the Irish Home Ruler, who has been putting up a prayer that God would help the Boers to shoot straight, or words to that effect. With Irish Home Rulers things are not going well. Imperialism is the note of the day ; preachers of dismemberment have to lament their occupation gone. An Irish agitator is just now a frozen out gardener ; he's got no work to do. In this frustrated and hunger-bitten condition Mr Davitt has betaken himself unto prayer, — there is, however, reasonable ground for hoping that his petitions are as little regarded above as below. In the case, then, of the jaundiced French and the disappointed Home Ruler we may admit extenuating circumstances. lam not sure that the same plea will not hold good in the case of the handful of sour faddists who divided the House on the proposal to send a 'New Zealand contingent to the Transvaal. They were six, and their names are Taylor, M'Nab, Gilfedder, Kelly, J. Hutcheson, J. W- Thomson. It may seem astonishing that there should be found six men in all New Zealand who despise their birthright in the British Empire, and repudiate its citizenship. We may be sure that men who do tills can't help it. It ia thzix nature to I Thin-blooded, parocbM-

minded, shallow-conceited — it were easy to i heap up- epithets ! I , won't do that. In [ j charity I fall back on the fact that, accord- .' j ing to* the immutable laws of this universe, j l"you/c"an't make- 'a silk purse out of a sow's ! ear. For the rest of us, the sentiment of j the 'hour is — ! That man's the, best Cosmopolite Who loves his native country best. Hands all round! ' God the traitor's hope confound! To this great name of England drink, my friends, ■ j And all her gloricms empire, round and j round. I To' bid Mr Taylor " drink "' L would be j doubtless an offence in itself ; but I can't 1 help that. The poels are tho poets, and i to' rewrite them in a prohibitionist sense has not yet been found practicable.

A sombre atmosphere pervades the Upper House just now, a gloom as of the condemned cell. And with reason. No less than ten Legislative Councillors are ordered for execution on the 15th proximo, and, unless reprieved, will on that date be [ launched into politictil nothingness and their I original night. The -dread decision rests with Mr Seddon. It is he who will determine whether they shall or shall not go out of existence. To Mr Seddon they have learned to look as the arbiter of their fate, ' and to say of him, with more than religious awe,

He can create, and he' destroy! It may be presumed that Mr Seddon will deal with them as they have dealt with him. Have they served him faithfully? Fetched and carried at command? Come ■to heel when bidden? If they "have, Mr Seddon will probably reprieve them for a new lease of life ; if they have not, the velvet-cushioned seats of the Upper House will know them no more. I look upon this as a hard cue. An appointment to che Legislative Council means light employment at £150 per annum, with privileges and pickings. Most or all of the unfortunates whose fate now trembles in the balance arc middle-aged men, possibly with families. I hold them, personally,, in no particular esteem ; all the same, their present plight — waiting abjectly for Mr Seddon's word of fate — might touch Ihc hardest heart.

Mr C. R. Chapman as a Parliamentary candidate for Dunedin is not an overwhelming surprise. The scope and aim of Mr Chapman's ambition had already been revealed to us. He broke it gently some months ago. Thus prepared, our nerves may perhaps stand the strain. As a politician, he is happy, he says, in having "' no sins of omission or commission to answer for."- A babe unborn couldn't say more than that. And to think that he proposes to surrender this happiness and sacrifice his innocence on the altar of his country ! I have been trying vainly to recall an historical precedent. Iphigenia at Aulis won't do at all. for the reason that the victim on that celebrated occasion was constrained by the will of others, and •is understood to have had, personally, no say in the matter. The case of Judith and Holoferncs would be more in point, were it not that Judith was a Tartar, and cut off Holofcrnes's head, circumstances which have certainly no application here. Perhaps the nearest classical parallel to Mr Chapman's generous self-surrender is to be found in "Barkis, is v.-iliin'." 1 will leave it at that. Boiled down, Mr Chapman's two-column address offering us his heart and hand reduces itself to the formula, touching in its simplicity, Barkis is willin'. Well, if it comes to a choice between Barkis and certain other aspirants, actual or possible, I shall give my affections to Barkis.

I 1 alluded above to the innocence of the , babe unborn. But that comparison fails jto do the candidate justice. Mr C. R. 1 Chapman is not a babe unborn. On the 1 contrary, he has already behind him what he calls " a public career," respecting which public career lie cherishes the comforc- , able assurance that it is " unsullied by any errors or mistakes." Where should we find such another paragon of infallibility? Nowhere outside the Vatican, I fancy. The particulars of Mr Chapman's unsullied , public career are kindly supplied by him- _ self. In 1886 was a candidate for Parliam ent; defeated. Since then has been city ! councillor and mayor (the, Chapman Mounment quid pro quo). Tried again for the ' mayoralty : defeated. Was elected to the Licensing Committee, " but," he adds, quite frankly, " there was no opposition '' — no- • body else just Ihtn caring for the billet.

In the course of- his distinguished public career, unsullied by error or mistake, Mr Chapman has '' always been aya v strong advocate of all measures in "the interest of ; the - people and of the ' masses ' " — here's Liberalism for you !—! — (.ml as for women's fri'iehise, .Sir John ! Hall may look to his laiuels. "For che advancement of the cause," says Mr Chapman, " I even made use of my official position." No unworthy use, of course ; the allusion is mysterious, but I have complete confidence in Mr Chapman's official integrity. Then, he adds : On the occasion of the General Election of 3593 I gave valuable assistance in haying the three Liberal candidates for this electorate returned, otherwise two at least would have been defeated. Also prior to this I had assisted the present (government party to get into .power, and afterwards when requested gave my valuable timp. and contributed financially to the support of the Liberal cause. If these things are so, Mr Chapman is on the right tack. His public career is &till unsullied by error or mistake. He purposes to be rejected at the polls, and thus j supply the only qualification he at present ■ lacks for a call to the Upper House. ]

With the river rising and gold returns falling, it was to be foreseen .that dredging shares would lose something of their hitherto well-preserved buoyancy. And so they have. I will not talk of a slump ; 9 the word is objectionable every way — the look of it is bad, and I am not sure that it is English. No, we will not admit the existence of a slump ; but I see no honest way of denying that the tone of the market this week h,as been, so to speak, slumpy — tending that way, as it were. And very proper, too. The only shares that have a right to keep up are thos-e of companies that will be getting to work within the next month or two. Six or nine months hence is too far ' off for the maintenance of fancy premiums. This being so, I would suggest that we become virtuous, and drop for the present the attempt to become rich by the method of beggar-nvy-neighbour. Let us go on building our dredger in pneience — of which a good deal ■n ill be required, — and postpone our next fit until there is something solid in gamble about. At present it is all paper, paper. Moreover, this slack time Is an eminently suitable time for going ihrough our swarming population of newborn companies, weeding out the rickety ones, and giving swift and silent burial to Ihe abortions. Understand, it is not liquidation rhat we want in these ca^es, but restitution. Give shareholders their «v.i:uv '.yv-k. The Voltaic has already done this. 'J lie Craig Flat made «omo show of following the Voltaic's honourable example : how does Craig Flat stand now? A third-com-pany has confessed an ;>ccidental error in its prospectus, and offers shareholders their money back if they choose to take it. Very conimegdable, though only common honesty. Then a shareholder in another company writes to the Times that, if things are thus and thus, he wants his money back. Let me counsel promoters and brokers to do the f.iir thing in nil these cases. They h;ive had a good time ; their gains have Wen Ljreat ; they could afford to bo generous ; A is not too much to ask them to be just.

A correspondent sends me the following :

A good but true story is told of Mr TX. Handcock, a newspaper rcpt., now in Southland, who called at a certain business house the other day, and inquired of a pretty girl of about IS summers, " Can I see the proprietor'" She answered in a very solemn manner, " You will never see him, he hns gone to- heaven." "1 am very sorry to hear it," replied Mr Handcock. Query : "What was he sorry for. Rather awkward for both parties. This is a variation on a well-known jesttheme, a theme that is probably as old as the hills. I could give half a dozen other specimens — e.g., Captain to affrighted passengers : " Say your prayers ! The ship is sinking. In half an hour we shall all be in heaven." Panic-stiicken clergyman, clasping his hands : " God forbid ! " A writer in Longman's Magazine, discoursing on " The Antiquity of Je&ts," remarks that " certain jests, like certain myths, exi&t in variants in all parts of the woi'ld ; their originals were laughed at by Teuton and Latin and Hindoo before these races were differentiated one from another by time and travel and climate." " Most Irish bulls, he says, " were calves in Ancient Greece." And he goes on to affirm that theie are only thirty-eight good stories in existence, and that thirtybeven of these cannot be told before ladies —

the latter remark being, in my opinion, an exaggeration. I think, however, that stories with a touch of irreverence should be sent, not to Civis, but to the religious , journals, some of which, not unknown in I Otago, show a distinct liking for this sort 1 of thing — for comic prayers, comic texts, i comic mistakes by (Sunday school children, I comic sayings by comic preachers. Here are two examples — comparatively inoffensive, or I should be unable to admit them fo these chaste columns : The late Dr Beny heard a poor man at. a prayer laeeling in Lancashire offer up an exceedingly fervent £>etition, and " this," said the distinguished preacher, "is how he prayed: — I " Lord, Thou knowest Thou hast tried me in ! many ways : Thou has tried me with affliction ; Thou hast tried me with work; and Thou hast j tried 'me without work; and Thou hast tried me with other troubles of one sort or another; but, if Thou triest me again, Lord, try me, if it please Thee, with a bit of brass.' " (a vulgar ierm signifying money). The visits of Dr Berry to America supplitd him with the subject for another good anecdote. One day he tried to silence a loquacious American by remarking " I belong to an Empire on which the sun never sets." " Don't you know," the American retorted, " why the sun never sets on your Empire?" The doctor said h,e could not tell. " Then," said" the American, " i guess it is because the Almighty cannot trust the people of your Empire in the dark." There is a trace 'of humour here ; but what the religious journal takes for humour is usually profanity." Civis.

We publish in another page this week as j complete a list as ■we have been able to compile of the dredging companies which have been recently formed in Dnnedin, giving also the capital, the names of the directors, and the secretary of each company, with the probable date of its commencing operations. Wo shall in future issues group the additional companies which may Le formed, and of which particulars aye given as they respectively make their' 1 appearance. The committee of the Southern Maori Mission has appointed Mr James J. Monfries to - take up the work among the Maoris of the South Island, from which Mr Morgan retired some time ago. Mr Monfries is a young man of considerable promise, and. intends by-and-bye to begin study for the ministry of the Presbyterian Church. Meanwhile he has taken this work in hand, and the committee desire to bespeak for him and for the work the sympathy and help of the ministers and people of all the churches. The scattered remnants of the noble Maori race which nro i still left among in have a very special claim upon every branch of the church. The field ib too wide and tlio work needing to be done i 100 much for one agent. As soon as means i and suitable men are forthcoming the committee will lie happy to appoint one or two additional agent*. Mr A. IT. Reed, 12 Rattray street, Dunedin, is secretary, and Mr i E. Koaevear, of the Bible and Tract Depot, i treasurer of the mission, which i* undenominational. ! During the month of August 1199 persons ; arrived in the colony from oversea ports, while the departures numbered 914. The remains were interred on the 26th of Mr Timothy Keates, who was well-known a.-, a citizen of Dunpdin for the past 35 years. A native of Dover, England, ho came to Aus- | tralia 43 years ago, but, attracted by the news ! of the discovery of goklfields in Otago, came I to this colony in 1861, and was among the first in the rush to the Dunstan, Arrow, and Skippers fields. He returned to Dunedin in 1864, and resided here ever since. By trade lie was a stonemason, but the last work he did in that line was in connection with the laying of the foundations of the Exhibition Building, which is now portion of the Dunedin Hospital. He was 67 years of age, and leaves a widow, two sons, and six daughters. An amazing romance of high life has just been terminated in the Assize Courts at Venice, by the condemnation of a duchess to 25 months' imprisonment for forgery. It appears that a Parisian adventurers, anxious to nrovide herself with respectable parentage, informed the Duches=e de Beauffremont, a lady famed for her piety and philanthropy, that she was prepared to give £2000 to be adopted by a person of rank. The duchess accordingly referred her to Prince Giedroye, a ruined nobleman, who, rising to the occasion, declared on seeing the adventuress that she was in very deed his daughter, and that documentary proof could be obtained at Xanioe. The duchess" accordingly repaired to

Venice, and procured from a priest named Cogo a forged certificate of birth, on tha strength of which the adventuress married one of the Princes Troubetzkoy. Prince Giedroye died before his guilt came to light» but the Princess Troubetzkoy, arrested on some other charge in Germany, hanged herself in prison, having fir3t denounced tha duchess and the priest as forgers. The. story reads like an episode in the age of the Italian despots. *"" The Rev. J. Muirhead gave an address on Sunday evening at Naumann's HaJl, South Dunedin, to young men and lads on the subject of impurity. Personally, -he' said, ha would rather not speak on such a delicate subject, but the evil was so prevalent and appar,ently so little notice taken of it that he had no chojee. He had made inquiries from the registrar of births, etc., as to the number of illegitimate births in the Dunedin district since January 1. Up to September 18, out of 793 births, 52 were illegitimate. He had also inquired as to .the number of forced mar-* riages — i.e., the number of children born within seven moriths after the marriage of their parents— rand ho had discovered that for 'three months (June to August) the number was nineteen, which, taken as an ayer 1 would give 47 for this year as far as h had gone. The rev. gentleman having spoken strongly on other forms of vice very much in evidence just now, concluded by advising his hearers to avoid everything that inflamed the passions, such as alcohol, dancing, tha theatre, bad books, and wicked company. La.«t week's meting of the Benevolent Institution Trustees was attended by Messrs Solomon (chairman), Haynes. Wilson, Watson, Treseder, and Hazlett. The weekly accounts passed for payment amounted to £121 llj 6d. The death of Elizabeth Menteitii, al the age o{ 78, was reported. A letter was received from the Mayor with regard to an old man who wished to go back to his wife aad family at Oamaru. He was in pod circumstances and unable to pay his fare, "'ho chairman said the man had been to tho Mice of the trust, and it was decided to y:\ ■> his fare to Oamaru, the cost of which wiw 4s. The action was approved by the trustees. The- relief cases, numbering 32, wero then taken into consideration. , We are informed that Mr John Moloney, of the firm of Messrs W. Scoular and Co., lias been elected by the board of the National Insurance Company to 'fi'l the vacancy canscd by the deatli of Mr Robert WilFt. At ;•. special meeting of the Mornington School Committee, held on the 27th, it wa# unanimously agreed to recommend the Education Board to appoint Mr William Davidson, of Waltati, to the position of head master in succession to M£ Kyle, who is retiring". Mr E. H. Buckingham, who has be 1 )) touring Central Otago, under the auspices of the Olago Prohibition League, lectured al Shag Point on Friday and Saturday evenings, his addresses on both occasions being listened to with great attention by good audiences. " On Sunday e'tening Mr Buckingham lectured in the Town Hall', Palmerston, and on Monday his lecture in the same place was very well attended. The lecturer spoke principally to the Moderate party in politics, religion, and temperance. The question of " Clutha " was dealt with by the lecturer from, personal* observation, Mr Buckingham having recently visited that electorate, and, travelling over nearly every part of it, said he found that prohibition in Clutha was by no means tho failure " Ex-prohibitionist " had described, but, on the contrary, no license had increased the prospejaty of the borough and also of the general community. The lecturer concluded an interesting address by an impassioned appeal to all young colonials to lift the colony to a higher plane of society by voting no licen«e at the next election. An Auckland telegram states that anxious inquiries are being made as to the whereabouts of an Auckland business man who disappeared la.st week. As the representative of a well-known Chvistchurch firm, it is alleged that he obtained " bogus " orders from cuf\pmers to whom credit was usually given, disposing of the goods as they arrived in Auckland. He netted a fairly large sum, and when inquiries were instituted by the firm it was ascertained that no orders had been placed by Auckland business people, and they had never seen the goods forwarded to this city. It is supposed that the offender left Auckland on board one of the steamers' departing last week* -