His Bargain in Portraits.

Otago Witness, Issue 2369, 27 July 1899, Page 63

His Bargain in Portraits.

HE WANTED A HALF-LENGTH LIKENESS OF HIMSELF, AND GOT ONE. Job Closehand stumbled into my office incoherent with rage. At last, however, I made out that he was denouncing JackCrayons, our famous painter, and consigning Mm to a plaoe where his oils would not increase his comfort despite all his enthusiasm. "Why, what on earth is the matter?" I asked. " Matter?" howled Job. " He's- ruined me ! He's stolen a million from me — besides 75d015!, "You know that Maud Richgilt — she's worth a cold million if she's worth a cent ! — and I were engaged," continued Job gloomily. " Well, to-day is her birthday, and, of course, I wanted to give her a present. I got that — that canvas destroyer, that smudging scoundrel, to paint my portrait. "Tfefe robber wanted 150dol for a full-length, but I wasn't going to blow in any such a wad as that; not much. Neither was I going to givo him the lOOdol he tried to hold me up for a half-length, and bv-and-bye he gave in 'and agreed to paint me a half-length in his best style for 75d01, and throw in a gilt frame. : " Well, while lie was at work the daubing villain would never let me see. the picture, and it was such a good bargain that I was blamed idiot enough to humour him. And when it was finished I wanted a look at it, and he said il Was already boxed up to be cent to Miss Richgilt, and if I opened it I would have to pay for haying it repacked, and it was all right, according to agreement, and one of the best jobs he had ever done. S-s-sh-sh-she returned' it t-t-to me this m-m-morning with a note b-b-breaking our engagement."' . Here the' wretched Job began tcr whhn--per. : " ; . ' • " What is the matter with it?" I asked. "It's — it's n-n-nothing but my 1-1-legs," Job sobbed. • I " What?" I cried. " M-m-my legs," blubbered Job. " That — that villain says he a-a-agreed to p-p-paint a h-half-length of me, and because it was to be done cheaply he cb-ch-chose the o-e-easier half, the mea3ly scalawag!" — New York World. "