THE AUTOMATIC ELECTRIC DIAGNOSER.

Otago Witness, Issue 2369, 27 July 1899, Page 50

THE AUTOMATIC ELECTRIC DIAGNOSER.

(By Bert Denovan.)

The hour was late — to be quite truthful, it was early — so early, indeed, that the lamps had long since been extinguished in the streets, leaving the city wrapt in a pall of murky gloom". Here and there, glimmering like stars through the mist, one CGuld see dim lights marking the houses whei'e the sick were being cared for in one long, silent, ceaseless watch.

But one light, brighter than the rest, shone from a room where toiled early and late one whose whole life was spent in ministering to the sick. Dr O'Donnell, the eminent specialist, a worthy man in eveiy respect, might have been seen seated, wrapt in deep thought, at his study table. His brow and face were seamed with innumerable lines, the unmistakable sign of much thought and study. And had he not earned them honourably? Though still a young mm, his monograph, "Lesions in Auerbach's Plexus — Their Signification In the More Obscure Gastric Conditions," already had won him fame as a rising man. To-night he appeared more worried than usual, and it was plain that no paltry matter was engaging the eminent specialist. Now and again, with, indescribable vigour, he would seize his pen and steadily dash off sheet after' sheet with untiring energy. At last, with an expression of evident satisfaction, he sat up erect in his chair, then, as if something had struck his mind, as suddenly rose up.

"By Jove ! " he exclaimed, taking out his -watch, "2.30! Didn't think it was so late. Must be getting upstairs. Can't burn the. candle at both ends, you know! " " Let me see ! One of Murchison's cigars. TJni J think I will. Keeps good cigars, Alur--chisbn-daes! "

. Talking thus to himself, lie drew up a -luxurious leather-covered easy chair, and - placing it in front of a cheerful gas fire, reseated himself.

. "Must have, a smoke before I turn in," ho said, lighting' the prime cigar lazily, and with all the air, of a connoisseur.

"Fancy my pamper on 'Gastric Transillumination a Clue to Diagnosis ' wil- let some light into a dark subject. Ha! -ha!' ha! Gqod. joke that. Must bring that off to-morrow !

" Subject totally neglected, too ! " Puff, puff. " Gastric diseases always 'have been obscure. Dicey's method quite impracticable. Open Dicey's eyes to-morrow!" Puff,, puff.

For some time the silence was broken only by the gentle puff, as the doctor, carelessly lounging in his comfortable chair, lazily pulled at his cigar. The doctor was evidently greatly satisfied with his night': -work. - - To-night he would astound the Dunedin Medical Association with a burst of erudition to which even that select society had rarely the good fortune to listen..

" Dudley's specimens '11 have to "take a back seat to-morrow," the doctor said to himself. Puff. "What's Gloaze down for? 'Important Surgical Landmarks.' Bosh! 'Sprised at Gloaze! What do we want landmarks for when we have the Rays?"

Puff! puff!

" Good cigar, this. Wish Murcßison would send along another box. Very kind of him.

"Mustn't forget to look up 'Twentieth' Century ' to-morow first thing. Rather late!

"Must get to bed. Feel quite knocked out!" . "Mr Chairman. and gentlemen, — It is with extreme pleasure, and with deep gratitude for the honour that you have paid me to-night,, that I rise to address you on such an important subject as the one set down in the syllabus. As you know, I intend to deal Avith the main branch of the subject of medicine. Diagnosis, I take it for granted, is that subject. What I have to say to you on this topic will, I have no doubt, be absolutely new, and, perhaps, startling to you. But, gentlemen, I ask of you a patient hearing, and I shall do my best to direct your attention along what to the profession must be untrodden and fresh patlus. The last great and important event in our ever-advancing medical science was, I think you will unanimously admit, the application to the human frame of that marvellous and Avorld-renowned invention oT Rontgen. In the present condition of this invention, I think you are all agreed that Rontgen has now placed before us an assistance to diagnosis, of which in its cruder form — tho X rays — we had in truth only a very faint conception. I refer, gentlemen, to our latest acquisition, the XXX rays. As you are doubtless aware, I have made a .-special study jf the diagnosis of disease in all its varying and delusive symptoms. Happily, the day is long since past when medical men ascribed every ache and pain to rheumatism, or when, at their wits' ends, abdominal section, was the 'sine qua non' in all obscure symptoms. Still, with all our vaunted science, Avith Jie improved methods and apparatus now at our command, we, a* every truthful physician must confess, do occasionally err in our diagnoses. Gentlemen, Rontgen's discovery, the latest and mobt indispensable addition to our surgical paraphernalia, is admittedly gr«at. But great as ib may be, I, gentlemen, your humble servant, am now anabled to j>lace

before you that before which anfesthetics,antiseptics, the Rontgen rays will fade into utter insignificance." Amid murmurs of astonishment and expressions reflecting gravely on the doctor's sanity, he lifted a small brass-bound box from the floor, and placed it on the. table before him Tliis he unlocked, and lifted into view a machine shaped not unlike a, typewriter in some respects. "This, gentlemen^" said he, "is my inn vention." The front of the instrument was provided with a number of small brass keys or buttons. Of these there were 50. At each end of the mysterious machine was placed a brass connecting screw, obviously intended to receive the terminals of a battery. Above, the instrument rose in a circular manner, and bore at the extreme summit * small electrical bell. The back surface was provided with tAvo dials, one of which was at present blank, the other contained a galvanometer needle with graduated scale. The whole machine was encased in vulcanite, and rested on a plate-glass slab, which projected slightly beyond the body of the instrument.. " Gentlemen, with' the aid of this little instrument the profession of medicine will be entirely revolutionised. No longer will our students be compelled to walk .our wards year in and year out in the vain pursuit of ever-elusive 'knowledge. The stethoscope-, . tho thermometer, soon will be relegated to> our museums Its "a : ifelic. of -darker and barbaric ages. All, gentlemen^ that you will require Avill be one of my little automatics diagnosers, and you will have no further trouble. Have no fear that this invention Arill have any evil effect upon the profession at large. Diagnosis only will be simplified ; you still have the treatment of the case about which to exercise your originality. A diagnosis may be agreed to unanimously, a line of treatment never. Gentlemen, I shall keep you no longer in suspense. You musfc knoAV, all of you, that the human body is greatly susceptible to the action of the elec- ' ti"ic fluid. In my researches I have found that the human organism is constantly in a. peculiar electrical condition: To this I have given it the name, " State of Electrical Tension." Briefly— S.E.T. This S.E.T. I have observed during my years of labour on the subject alters considerably with every variation, of health. The S.E.T. in a nor-; mal healthy human I nave taken as a stands point and called Zero. All disease, gentle-* men, influences this S.E.T., either increas-t ing it or diminishing it. Thus, a disease, say typhoid, increases the 5.E.T.,. and we have then a certain well-known S.E.T. j brought about peculiar to the disease in question and to no other. In this way every bodily ailment has its corresponding S.E.T., and in 50 special diseases under my observation I have no evidence of the same, condition existing in another. Noav, to my instrument. These, keys represent different conditions- of electrical tension, running from zero — perfect h'ealrh — to —13 on the one hand arid to +37 on the other. The markingneedle aud dial represent degrees of severity graded irom oto 50. This I , call my thermometer, because it registers for me the * daily or hourly condition of the disease under observation, whether it be increasing or^ decreasing in virulence, whether the symptoms abate or increase. The white dial indicates by a number which key has been struck, and registers it. Thus, if a patjient consult you,all you nave to do is to connect the instrument with three cells and ask your patient to run his index finger over the keys. At one key or other the S.E.T. will agree, and the bell Bignala as long as his finger remains in contact with that key. On examining your dials you may see, +7 in the large dial, and 29deg in the graded dial. That simply' means — an attack of influenza of moderate severity. Briefly, then, every condition of disease sets up a corresponding and knoAvn S.E.T., which varies in degree according to the severity of the attack. For instance, gentlemen, lam in perfect health. I run my in- . dcx finger rapidly over the keys and the bell rings. Zero ! " Strange, however, the bell kept on ringing with a violence that seemed strangely out of place in such a gathering. The worthy doctor disconnected the battery, bufc still the incessant ringing kept oil. 'Gentlemen! gentlemen 1" he strove to say. , , Someone seemed to kick him hard in the middle of the back, and as he turned to remonstrate he heard a member shouting, "John! John! That bell's been ringing fully five minutes. Do get up and see Avhafc it is, there's a good fellow." , Poor Dr O'Donnell, his marvellous invention running in a most beAvildering manner through his still befogged and sleepy brain, drove rapidly into the early morning fog, to usher perchance into this Aricked world another Rontgen. Who knoAvs?