PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2258, 10 June 1897, Page 3

PASSING NOTES.

(From Saturday's Daily Times.) King Richard finds himself at last amid j congenial surroundings and able to meet people of his own rank in life. At the Euston Square station,- awaiting the royalties from New Zealand in order to convey them to the Cecil Hotel, were " three royal carriages," doubtless in blue and gold, with postilions and outriders. These details, wanting to the telegram, are easily supplied by the imagination. We now wait in calmness to hear that the P. of W. has called ; that the Qaeen has expressed a desire to be introduced to Mrs Seddon ; that the Yorkes have asked Miss S. to drop in in a friendly way and see the baby. As to the academical degree which Cambridge announces itself waiting to confer upon Mr Seddon, that is a trifle. Many persons of no note at all obtain the same degree by merely passing examinations. However, there will be no harm in Mr Seddon indulging the vanity of a few poor old university dons by submitting to be D.O.L'd.or be made a Doctor of Divinity, whichever they may think most fitting. He will reply to their barbarous Latin in the dignified vernacular of the West Coast, and the honour of New Zealand will be safe. I observe that the New South Wales contingent has beaten the British army at rifle shooting, or polo, or something, and would have beaten the Irish army also but for the undue " latitude " taken by the Irishmen, — as is the Irish wont. This is only a beginning. When the Raahine arrives and lands the New Zealand forces, to " wipe the eye " of. the Household troops and set all Aldershot in a ferment, we may expect some telegrams worth reading. The Press Agency people on- the other side are doing pretty well 80 far, and seem to have afair grasp of tha situation. They perceive that we are a great people, and that we must be cracked I am pleased to be in a position to give readers an advance copy of the report to be presented to the Governor by the Royal Commission which has just spent 10 days in discovering what everybody knew before. How I came in possession of it mast remain

one of those journalistic secrete that have so often baffled inquiry : — May it please your Excellency, Your Commissioners have the honour fco report that they sat in Dunedin for 10 days inquiring into the best manner of killing the Union Company's Benefit Society. We decided at the outset that it would' be . better for appearance' sake to make some inquiries into other benefit societies. We have" to report that we found an unexpectedly large number of men who are thrifty enough to provide for a. rainy day, and recommend that this be at ouce forbidden. It is contrary to the tenets of the Liberal party to allow any man to provide for himself except* in the legitimate manner known to politicians. We found that , a large number of employers out of pure good nature had given donations to the funds of societies. This should be rigidly discountenanced, as it is not right that employers should make too free with ; j employees. It might embarrass the latter 'in the event of a trade disturbance arising. We were much humiliated and I annoyed at the outset by the criticisms of the local morning newspaper. Ie criticised us perj sonally, politically, and officially in a very exasperating manner. We had the editor before us subsequently, but regret that the terms of our commission did not permit us to imprison him for 12 months for contempt. In conclusion, we have to pay that we regret to find that these societies have increased the comfort and happiness of the paople. Many of j the members could not pass a medical examina- ! tion tor friendly Focietie3. Therefore the 1 private societies should be suppressed, as it is the duty of the Government to find all thiDgs for all people I We attach minutes oE the proceedings and notes of the evidence. Mr Gonrley, the worthy and unostentatious mayor, was among the wild beasts at Ephesus on Monday evening. I don't suppose an inoffensive chairmaa was ever so waylaid by ferocious faddists before. Quot homines, tot senientics ; situs cuique mos — Many men, many minds; every man has his own humour. The number of suggestions which have been made to worthily celebrate the Record Reign — I beg the committee's pardon ; they have instructed tha newspapers to call it Diamond Jubilee — is prodigious, and we do not know how many have fallen stillborn. The reporter tells us the names of a few inarticulate aspirants, who made suggestions. And now we shall never know what these proposals were. No doubt they were of a utilitarian nature. Almost everyone has some project up his sleeve, which, if carried out, will make this annus niirabilis memorable. Quite an army of { skinflints allege that it would be better to ; have no illuminations and give the money Ito the poor. As if that were not its destina1 tion. Mr Sandsifter, the grocer, says he will !■ illuminate his emporium, not out of i loyalty, but because that wretched cad . Caraways opposite will be sure to, and J a British grocer scorns to play second fiddle !to any man. Accordingly he pays the plumber, Mr Sawder, and Mr Sawder feeds Mrs Sawder and the little Sawders ; and the aforesaid Mrs Sawder in the plenitude of her I hearth, worthy creature, knows some poor ! family up a right-of-way who would be glad to have some of that nice beef, and they get j it, too, and honest Mrs Sawder's capacious 1 bosom heaves gently as she blesses that ' illumination that put it in her power to feed ' the hungry. Pooh I To hear these skin- ! flints, one would think the money was being thrown into the sea. Besides, are not the poor to be royally fed all that week ? It is natural that everybody who has a fad to air, a crotchet to advertiss, a pet charity to promote, should try to get it hooked on somehow to the Record Rsign celebrations. It is natural that the local poet should be in throes; that the local parson — if, like Mr Curzon-Siggerg, he thinks he has a gift that way — should be composing all his own , hymns for Jubilee Sunday ; that the local musician, too, not to be out of it, should bs grinding out local original melodies wherein and whereby we may give adequate expression to our patriotic feeliDg. In the circumstances all tbie is pardonable. Bat let; us keep our beads cool. Personally I decline to be swept off my legs by any factitious enthusiasms. I reserve my self-abandonment I for the one enthusiasm proper to the day. It ' may be fitting that we should add a children's ward to the hospital, but the demand hai been sprung upon us suddenly by the doctors, and carries an unmistakable first suggestion of " nothiDg like leather." Dr ! Brown's " seven good reasons" in Thursday'c Times are so very good that the fact of our never having heard of them before raises a jast suspicion against them. If I knock at s. friend's door at midnight, invite him to j dress and come out, and, on his declining, 1 inform him casually that his house is on

fire, the chances are that he will think me a jester. Even so with Dr Brown and his seven good reasons; — e.g., to take one of them, that "patients are turned away daily for want of room." If thig is a fact, why is it left to crop out in this merely incidental and accidental way ? Dr Brown's case would be stronger if it were weaker. It cannot be said that the free library project has been sprung upon us ; — oh dear no I The free library is an experienced old pacer that many a time already has been trotted out before a coldly critical public, and as many time 3 " passed in." Why are we so critically cold 1 How is it that advocacy of a free library is abandoned to Fabianites, to the Christian Ethical Society — (who are theße, by the way ?) ;—; — and to what in European circles would be called collectively " The Revolution " ? How is this 1 Ia it because of a suspicion in the public mind that these persona have already eaten of the tree of knowledge more than agrees with them, and more than is consistent with their agreeing with other people 1 It may bs that ; or it may be the rate. The library, observe, would be free ; the rate is to be compulsory. Or, again, there may be moral reasons. The sage i warnings of Mr F. Mallard against exposing ingenuous youth to the corrupt influence of such books as " Jade the Obscure " and " Teas of the D'Urbevilles " aro highly edifying. In the opinion of Mr F. Mallard the i virtues of the Queen might bs more worthily celebrated by means of drains. By drains, certainly ! — spite of the prohibitionists, — though not "necessarily by sowers. Summing up the proposals for a Record Kaign " permanent memorial " ia Danedln, they seem to be as follows : — Dr Brown, of the " seven good reasons," raggeats more hospital ; our fair Donna Quixotes suggest more kindergarten ; the £ree library people suggest more intellectual dyspepsia ; Mr F. Mallard suggests drains. And finally somebody suggests a Morgue — the Record Reign Morgue, — and I am peiplexed to know on which to bestow my choice. Tom Mann and Co. constitute a strong section of the Independent Labour party in England, and they recently wanted to change its name to " The Socialist Party." This they were not permitted to do, which is of no importance. The programme of this party has a particularly strong effluvium. Private property in land is to be abolished. All people are to work eight hours a day. This will be very inconvenient for those who now work six hours. Work is to be given to all applicants at a statutory minimum of sixpence an hour, only we are not told who is to find the work and the sixpence. Every person over 50 is to have j a pension. Why not make the age 40 ? It is just as easily said as 50, and is just about as feasible. Provision is to bs made for all widows, orphans, sick and disabled ■workers. Children are to be maintained free at school and university, so that there will have to be a university in every block. All public burdens are to be gradually transferred on to unearned incomes. But if the State takes all the land, where will the unearned incomos come from 7 Tom Mann and Co. remind me of the Board of Governors (in Ireland) who resolved (1) that the material of the old workhouse should be utilised in building the new, and (2) that the old one should not be pulled down until the new one was built. Civis.