Just Possible.

Otago Witness, Issue 2251, 22 April 1897, Page 52

Just Possible.

She was angry, not to say disgusted

" That's the third time this month," she said, " that I hay« read a story about a woman going through her husband's pockets for change." "Well, my dear," he returned, apologetically, "you mustn't blame me. I didn't write them."

"Of course you didn't," ahe excla'med. " You kuow better. It's preposterous, outrageous, that Eucb. libels should bo. allowed to circulate in tbe guise of humuK, It wculd be just as tiuthful to t.illc about a man going through hi* wife's pockets. Why don'fc they ever do that ? " He shook his head. " I can't say positively," he said, "but it is just possible that some humourist once tried to li rid one aud knows bow n is. One may jolce about the improbable, you know, when be fteln that be ought to draw the Hue at the impossible." .

" lii Memoriam." lie came with a poem and dire intent, And up the sanctum stairs be went ; Hope and a smila on his face were blended, ascended. o si which "- .a manner I this is •» 0 ■< He bearded the editor in hij lair, Aud began a-reading his poem fair ; But the editor stopped him before be had ended, ■■•%„ % i i Siroun to Elope. A recent elopement and wedding in Chicago have revealed the fact that there is an elope- j ment club among the girls of a Chicago high " school. Its written constitution has been dis- , covered, and its salient features are as fol- ' lows : — i " This organisation thall ba called ' The H.P.H.S Elopement Club ' " Absolute secrecy as to time and particulars of elopement shall be maintained even between members. " Membership shall be limited to seven, and shall cease the moment tbe wedding r'mg is placed on a true siater's finger. " The older the man inve'gled into eloping, the more credit shall be given the departing sister. Boys under 18 years are not to be considered responEiDle. "Milwaukee is the Gretna Green preferable. " Trunks and trousseaus absolutely forbiddt n. Long wedding trips are also barred. "The penalty for beiDtj-a member for longer than two years is expulsion. " Each departing member shall suggest a sister to take her place.

"First, last, and always tbe motto of the club shall be —

" ' Elope ! elope ! We care not where. Just so we find a husband there.' "

Persevering. An instance of well-merited reward for perseverance was that of a commercial traveller who was expect'ng a large order from a country tradesman. He arrived in tho town on a fete day, and finding the shop closed, inquired the whereabouts of the proprietor, aud ascertaining that he was attending tho fete, about a nile out of the towD, wpnt thither after him.

When he arrived there si bfclloon was jußt going to ascend, and to his dismay he saw bis man step into the car. Plucking up courage, however, he sfcepued forward and asked to be allowed fco ascend. There was room, and he entered the car.

In a few moments away went tha balloon, and ' it was not uftil the little party was well above tbe tree top 1 ? thaf^ tbe enterprising "commercial" turned towards his customer with the j

firat remark,

"And now, sir, what can I do for you in calico ?"

Catching tha humour of the position, and nob ■unwilling to reward such perseverance, the astonished tradesman gave his pursuer a. larga order, with the f-xcusable proviso that in future he should b*. allowed to take his pleasure in peace, and that on no account was the traveller to mention tbe circumstance to his brethren of the " road."

A Queer Pasture. On the Top of a Column.

The Noss, a formation off the coast of Bressay, one of the Shetland islands, is one of the most curious island formations in the world. It is a cylindrical column 160 ft bigh, its flab top having an area not much larger than an ordinary village dooryard. A child could almo3t throw a stone across it.

More than 200 years ago a reckless" birdhunter, tempted by the pggs of the numberless seagulls which whitened the top of thia giant column, and further influenced by the promise of a cow, actually succeded in scaling the almost perpendicular wall of rock and establishing a sott of ropa bridge between the island

and the mainland. When he had driren his stake 3 and secured tho ropes his friends entreated him to bo tbo first to try the new device. But whether he had suspicions as to its safety, or whether he was prompted by mere bravado, certain it is that he refused, and chose rather to return by the same perilous track by which he had come.

But as ha was slowly and paiafnlly toiling down from the dizzy height, his foot slipped, be lost his hold, and then— there was no one to claim tbe promised cow, but tbe sea claimed one more victim.

Nevertheless the frnifc of his bold endeavour remained, and it is still there to substantiate the story, for the bridge of rope betweea Bressay and Noss is still maintained. A Scotch farmer saw that there was a bib of good pasture on this summit ; so he made a kind of wooden chair or cradle, just large enough to hold a man and a sheep ; and in this primitive way ha still transports his flock, one at a ting, over to this little browsing placa.

Of course not many sheep can ba taken over, for more than a dozen would dangerously crowd the place, bub the few it can support graze iv innocent security, unconscious of the danger that lurks around them.