FUN AND FANCY.

Otago Witness, Issue 2242, 18 February 1897, Page 41

FUN AND FANCY.

-.. , m ■■ — Luck waits for a, train ; pluck builds a railway. ' — Industry is the peg on which Plenty } a -rigs her hat. — Many a bleeeing in dißguiae effectually eludes detection. — No man can come out brigbfc who hasn't experienced many rubs. — The man who can learn from his own mistakes will always be leamtog something. — LoTerß aro said to be blina, but they olten make a pair of spectacles of themselves. — Friendships are like money in one respect i it is easier to make them than to keep them. — The most difficult ups and downs of tbia life are keeping expenseß down and appearances op. — The difficulty with moßfc men is that they fiah in poods: all their lives with hooksbaited for .whales. — The man who spends bis life building air castles will probably never own so muoh as a hut of hi* own to die in. — Accounted For. — Clara i " Isn'b your love for him very sodden ? " Maad : " Wei), bio rioh aunt died very unexpectedly." — Many a man has reached the summit of fame and then looked down into the humble galley he came from and longed to be back There again. — One Consolation. — He : " My ll£t> without yon will be « lonoly one." Tne HeJrese i j " But think how hard worked and busy you | will have to be 1 " ( A Martyr. — •• How came you here 1 " said the visitor to a prisoner in the penitentiary. "I was brought here by my convictions," was the firmly-spoken reply. — Identified. — "Uncle, what ia an egotist ?"—" He is a Mlow that listens intently when ha is taikiag to you and never listens at all when you are talking to him." ACCOMMODATED. 11 I'd like a bite," the tramp announced, With hollow, face and trembling limb. Th» bulldog hastened straightway forth : And quick accommodated him. ' Pertinent. — In Russia teachers are none too well paid. At a scholastic meeting someone proposed the toast : " Long live our school-teaohers." " What on ? " asked a cadaverous-looking specimen, rising in bis Beat. No Hesitation. — " Jobson, Ido believe that if you were given the choice between me and •your pipe yon would hesf.t-ate." — " That's , where you make a mistake, Mrs Jobeon. A pipe Boothes and comforts a man in his old age." —As Good as He Got. — A gentleman while making a speech, inadvertently stepping forward, fell off the platform. In response to the peals of laughter that greeted his unluoky fall, he claimed that any speaker had " a right to come down to the level of his audience." — Unhappily Put.— Bills : " I Bay, old fellow, lend me ten shilliDga, will you?" Wills : " I jasb lent my last half-sovereign to Strykes for the sole purpose of getting rid of him. I'm very sorry. If you had Come 15 minutes sooner I could have done as much for you." — Cause for Haste.— The Doctor : " Mrs Brown has sent for me to go and see her boy, aud I must go at once." His Wife : " What is the matter with the boy 1 " Tbe Doctor : 11 1 don't know ; but Mrs Brown has a book on the eubject of what to do before the . doctor comes, and I must hurry up before she does it." — The Modern Way.— She (as he finished mending her punctured tyre) : " Ob, thank you, io much ! What should I have done without you ? " He : " Don't mention it. I wish I oould always carry the repairing kit for you." (Tenderly :) " May I, Eleanor ? " And two bioycles continued to lean against the grassy bank. — After Forty Years. — An epftaph as curiona in its way as any of the qv.airjt gravestone inscriptions that have beon recorded is on a tombstone in the cemetery of a snburo of Paris. The husband died first, and beneath the record of bis name waß placed, at -his request, tbe line, " I am anxiously awaiting yon. jaly 30, 1828." When bis widow died, 40 years after, the following line completed her Inscription, " Here I am. Sept. 9, 1867."'