Blithers and Suithers Again.

Otago Witness, Issue 2181, 19 December 1895, Page 33

Blithers and Suithers Again.

A SEMI-BLINDFOLD GAME. Corporal Blithers has been mysteriously missing from the Magpie Club for some days. When he turned up on Thursday night ho wore a suspicious bandage over his right eye and had a scab on his nose. As one after another the members dropped in, this bandage became the subiect of critical and caustic comment. " Hum !" ejaculated Dr Throttle, " been tryiDg to skate, eh ?' "No," Eaid the corporal, "only a cinder in my eye." Then M'Nib followed with: "Weel, weel. Ye've been conthradicting th' wife, I ken?" " No, no; a cimUr —it's nothing," replied the patient Blithers. " Bless my soul!" exclaimed the Rev. Tony Boyle, as he entered. " I thought you had signed the pledge.* This i 3 disreputable, disreputable 1 " " No, no —a rinder in my eye." " Humph ! a pity, a pity !" murmuved the Rev. Tony, with a dubious gmot as he walked away. And so on, by member after member, poor Blithers was p ister?<l. 13 iio it rouuinei for young Snitl-cra to pile on the last ttiuw. " I[o !ho ! Ha, ha, h,i!" lxu^liiul Snithcr3 when he beheld the veteran'b b<n<iag d optic. "What! been putting your dukes up to M'Nib?" " No, hang you, no! It's a cinder," retorted the now frantic Blithers for the tenth time. j " What are you giving us ? Oh, go tell that to General Booth. Come now. why don't you own up that you've been over to Ireland to help Parnell lose the Kilkenny election." " No, hang you I It's a cinder, I tell you." "Now you don't really expect us to swallow that old chestnut about a cinder t" " I don't care a rotten turnip whether you do or

not. Does anyone want to playf I'm here U play." " You don't seriously think you can play with one eye ? " " J fife conies to that, I can play you in any con* dition." "Don't be too sure," said Snithers. "A man with one eye, too ! ' " Oh, haDg your joke3l Do you want to play?" •'Of course I do. I am always delighted to oblige a dntiocuisbed warrior. Did they hit you with lime at Kilkenny ?" " Never mind. Will you play me or not?" " Oh, I don't want to take advantage of a man in your crippled condition." " I knew it! I knew it I I might have known you were agr»id to face me I" roared Blithers, now furious with disappointment. "Afraid of you? Mcl Well—here, someone tie up my right eye. I won't take advantage of him, poor old chup. It's one of his hallucinations." Dr Throttle appl'ed a handkerchief over Snithers merry optic, and they began. It was a comical sight to see them bota t yinjr to get the raege of the .squares bjr a peculiar sidelong twist of the head. B-low is the game. It is what [ might be expected und r toe conditions—one sided. Blither&'s move. Game 2421—" Paisley." 1116 811 1014 16 20 710 a 11M 2419 2218- 26 22 2217 28 24 &30 28 (a) They had got so far when old Profe'sor Muzzlehoffer entered. "Mem Gntt!" he exclaimed, " there* vas a row, eh? Vat happened wit your eye, corporal ?" " Never miud ; never mind, it's all right," said the corpjral tastily. "Id may pc all righdt, but id don't look all righdt," replied Muzzlehoffer. Then Mac facetiously told the professor that they had fought six rounds, and had been parted, and were now finishing it out over the bloodless field. ' (i>) "Here, What is the stake on this game?" asked the corporal at this point. " Any steak you liko. A beefsteak, a porksteak, or a chump chop; anything to oblige you, old chap " '•None of yohr idiotic nonsense; what is tho wager?" • • • "Well, a bottle of 'chain,' since I'm sure to win, and I always like to treat my friends to th« best." As jou know, it is one of the Magpie Club rulea to allow no wagers below a bottle of champagne. Consequently there is very little betting. The game proceeded :—: — • 9 13 18 9 5 14c 26 22-d e-6 9 (c) Blithers touched the man on 5, then picked up the one on 13.. "Are you a "dentist?" asked Snithers sarcas* tically. "No. Why?" "Thei you aronot qualified to pull; put thai man back. Jump 1" (rf) " I hat jump just cooks your goose," said Snithers. " That loss was known long before tht • Spanish Armada. See Dunne's ' Guide,' Spanish game, by Don Squeezumendo." («) " This will knock your Spanish Don into a cocked hat," replied Blithers. 22 18-/ . 18- 15. 25 18 29 25, 13 22 1 6-flr 4 8 3 7 (J) "Will it? This 5s the Squeezuraendo gambit, and you might as well order up the 'cham.'" (7) "Not yet, not yet, your left optic nerve must have been paralysed not to have seen this." 31 26-A 18 9 21 .14 15 6 23 14 9 13-i 13 17 ' 6 13 2 18 ;-16 30 (A) " Will you resign gracefully, or must I use you up a la Kilkenny?" (t) ' Jump. Not until I've shown you this Don .Wyllieo gambit. I'll drink with you* now, ha, ha 1" (j) And Blithers won easily. Of course Snithers was ready to point out how he should bave woii by 25 22 at (/*)• James Hill. Magpie Club, January 20, 1891. '