PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2179, 28 November 1895, Page 42

PASSING NOTES.

If a monument is to be set up to the beroUin of the Dacres, -why should less be done for the Shorts 1 Why less for any other suicide 1 The distinction of Mr Dacre is that before putting the pistol to bis own head he fired two Bhots into the bosom of his wife. In this distinction he was faithfully imitated a few days later by Mr Short, ■who bettered the example by cutting the throaca of his two children. A few days earlier than either of these " sad tragedies "—" — as the papers style them— a Mr William Smith at Sydney cut his wife's throat and bis own. He had intended, as he explained in a letter, to perform, the same operation on his six children ; but haviDg made the mistake ot takirg his own case second ha was incapacitated trom proceeding with tue others. Last week ab Wellington Mr Isaiah Fake shot himself after attempting to murder his wife. Ia this case there had been some Blight quarrelling, but in the three others murder was done simply and solely as a mark of affection. Waeretore the D.*cres are to have "a memorial." Why not the others? Why should we not build an ornamental tomb for every coward who flies to the suicide's pistol ? It seems to be thought a peculiarly touching thing that the suicide should firbt do to death his wife and obildreu, and so go oil in a general massacre of all his belongings. That specially is why the Dacres are to be canonised and commemorated in monumental brass.

This is not exactly the way %o check an epidemic of suicide. Our forefathers who buried the felo de se at the cross roads, and drove a stake through his heart, were a barbarous set of people, no doubt; but their instinct in this matter was sounder than ours. There is a Btory somewhere of a rage for suicide that at one timß prevailed amongst the maidens of Miletus. The Milesians, being lonian Greeks, were a people of somewhat effeminate manners, but they found courage to deal with this craze effectively. They put forth a Bj-law No. 2, or its equivalent, directing that the body ot every young girl who did herself to death should be dragged naked through the streets. From that point the plague was stayed. The triviality of the reasons for which men nowadays kill themselves is evidence that the moral checks against suicide have eomehow become weak. EUrnlet, when all the uses of this world seem to him weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable, exclaims : O that this too, too solid flesh would melfc, Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew ; Or that the Everlasting had not fixed His cau on 'gainst self -slaughter. The world-weary Hamlet of to-day makes little account of the Everlasting and his canons. It is jast now the end of the century, and the end, perhaps, of much beside. Men destitute of religious beliefs will naturally . ehnfUs off this mortal coil the moment they feel tired of it. The one effective check left to us is to brand suicide as cowardice and make it - infamous. With these sentiments I don't think I should be able to subscribe towards a memorial to the Daores.

Dear Cms, — My punning on the name "Fi9h" djd not please sou. You pronounced the " fish "-£ tale— which it is — and insinuated that Buch punning was in bad taale Had you forgotten that Mr Fish himself, at the nomination, punued on the name of his opponent ? It was something to the effect that he, Fi*ii, was not afraid of Mr Wales, '» nor of a whole school of whales." So you see there is good authority for considering both Candidas from a fiihy point of view. If we do that we at once reach the conclusion that a whale is more valuable th»n any other fish that swims. — Your Correspondent. Unfortunately for this argument, a whale is not a fish. Ask Professor Parker on the point. A whale is not a §sh, and it can be logically demonstrated, ex vi termini, that a school of whales would not number a fish amongst them. This ia certainly true in z Dology ; my correspondent had better consider whether it is not equally true in municipal politics. As for the main question, the contest for the mayor's chair, I look to see Mr Fish elected and Mr Wales a prophetically good second,— the meaning of "prophetically" to be explained at next year's election. In the past I have chastened and corrected Mr Fish as need seemed to require, and with all due fidelity. At present tho transitionary state of municipal finance demands his service*, and we shall do well to compel him to " see us through."

I give below a specimen of the election squibs that reach me. Mr Fish is the kind of public man whose candidature for anything naturally generates squibs. But, blesß you 1 he don't mind 'em. Nor in his place should I. They brighten up the battle, and it may be considered quite within the bounds of possibility that Mr Fish, desiring to relievo

the aridity of discussions about municipal finance, has himself supplied me with this string of laborious f unnyisms : — THE MAi'ORAL ELECTION. Daring the past week a strong commotion has b-en very i.oi-oeabie among the molluscs on th 1 - far side ot the harbour. An authority on matters marine states that the agitation referred to has been produced by a rumour current amongst shellfish generally that a battle royal ia about to take place between two monsters of the deep, and that by way of novelty it has been" mutually agreed between the combatants that the encounter should take place on land. The site selected for the contest is the nearest octagonal hill, and the time appointed is the next ensuing day sacred to the God of Storms. Themolluscß, being anxious to hear bow public opinion runs with reference to the probable result of the fray, deputed a notable reporter named Perry Wing Cull to act as a war coneFpondent. The following is a translation of Mr Cull's first official despatch to tia Eoyal Highness King Nautilus Poinnilius X. The peculiar dialect in which the translation appears is accounted for by the fact that the only translator available is a Cockney, recently from London, with an education derived more or less from ths music hall. He heads his translation with "'7? Dunno Where 'E Are:* Our'Enery's on the job again for mayor. And 'c's a catchin' all the votes 'c can ; 'ID'S fis-hin' wiv noo tackle and old flic, And loudly boasts that 'c's the honely man. Four 'undred quid haint quite ervuf for 'im; 'Is giant bintellect bo much hernbraces. Two 'undred's far too much for hother blokes ! And why?— cause "sukkemstancea halters cases." When Chapman wanted twice to fill the chair, Our 'Etiry ««i 1, " That's goin' a bit too far, A rollin' hoffica 'swat it ort to be," So 'dp me, now— '.E dunno where a' are. Conversion's still 'is fay'rite little game ; 'Is bloomin' repertoire's a rare collection i .' 'E used to bust 'isself about Freeliude : 'IS ssl-pt and woke converted to Protection. Agin the wimming's vote 'o\v f e did spout ; No joker was more bitter or conciser : Anuvver i-leap produced a marvellous change; A 'ot converted petticoat franchiser. 'Is darlin' too, 'c called the wukkm' man. The boots, the groom, tho navvy and Jack-tar : Conversion's made'im yuls wiv Bond street swells : So 'clp me, now — 'E dunno where 'c are. 'E used to 'obnob wiv the brewer too, And dearly loved the licensed wittallev, In one short t-loep, 'o dreamed a 'orrid dream ; Converted rose— a rank Teetotaler. ']& sts 'c's in 'is native helement, 'Is 'aunt 3 and 'abits now are hall aquatic, But they're a watchin' of 'is funny ways, Aud wont 'ay no achievement 1 ) haorobatic. 'E do 't git pusses packed wiv suvvrlng3 now, A four-in-*and don't meet 'im from afar. Conversion's bust 'is blooming' glory hup, 'E ses 'isself, "'E duuno where 'c are." Now 'Enry wants to start a baby show, And 'c's procoored three hinfanti for the vuppus. 'E ses 'c's father qv 'em hall 'hself. 'It'll train 'em right, like monkeys in a circus. 'E aint no chicken at the cirous bis ; 'Is gag's himmense— as clown 'c hevery fool licks : You'd think he'd kill 'isself at s •.mersftuHs ; 'E aye surwives to count up the spondoolicks. 'E's askin' ratepayers, on th' election djy, To patronise them hinfantg and their pa : The festive ratepayers aint riich bloomiu' mugs; They'll show 'im straight 'E duuno where 'c are. The prophesy of the last two line?, like that of many another oracle, may safest be interpreted by the rule of contrary. Archbishop Croke, at one time Bishop of Auckland, at present tho leading Roman Catholic prelate in Ireland, informs Mr Stead (Review of Reviews; tiiat thß " New Zealand system of education is fairly satisfactory." The State provides an education solely eecular, and ministers of all denominations are authorised to impart religious instruction to their x-'upils one day in the week. The Catholic priests in New Zealand attend regularly for some hours in the week to catechise the Catholic scholars in the public schools. The system seems to work admirably. The archbishop's memory has played him a trick. That ia evident and easily intellegible. The thing to be noted, however, is that such a system as he.erroneously believes to exwt he would regard as "fairlj satisfactory " ; also, that he would expect it to "work admirably." Contrast this attitude with that of our local R. O. authorities On I the one side there is the note of moderation and common sense that marks off the statesman from the unpractical visionary. On the other — but I need not say what there ia on tbe other ; anybody who wants to know may \ consnlt the pages of the Tablet, passim A public education system good enough for Archbishop Croke in Ireland ought to be good enough, one would Bay, for the archI bishop's co-religionists in New Zealand. Bub that's where we should make the mistake. I£ Baid system were attainable, wibich it Isn't, the Roman Catholic loaders here would , denounce, repudiate, and reject it as an insult to their faith. There' is such a thing, we see, as being more royalist than the king. The archbishop's recollections of New Zealand being evidently somewhat misty, we may take leave to qualify his solitary example of " sectarian intolerance." A Presbyterian minister who had been preaching sgainsb the Church of Rome found mmaelf with me when I was mailing a journey Borne miles up country. When I got out at the railway station I found that my friends had 'sent a carriage for me to convey me to the town, which was situated about a mile away. The Presbyterian minister had al*o alighted at the same station. The rain was coming down in a perfect deluge : I went up to my Presbyterian friend and told him that there was plenty of room in the carriage, and hoped that he wonld accept a seat. It would not do, however; he would have "no truck" with the represent*tive of the Pope of Rome, and, declining nay invitation, he welked off sturdily in the pouring rain, which mast have drenched him to the skin. That was about the only instance of intolerance that I noted in the colony. There is probably some mistake here. Th* Presbyterian's manse most likely was close by. Otherwise I should have expected him to see in the archbishop's courteous offer not only an opportunity of " the Egyptians," but also such a Providential opening for a " word in season ' as it would have been sinful to negkeb.

A correspondent sends me the following : Anent the Passing Note in last Saturday's Times upon pugilistic parsons, it may be worth recording that we have in D unediu a divine who confesses to an occasional desire for pugilistic exercise. Unfortunately it was _not chronicled in the newapajjer reports, but it is

nevertheless a fact, that at tho annual meeting of Krox Churoh one minister present (not the new pastor), waxing eloquent on the subject of inattentive congregations — rafter * common complaint with preachers,, — admitted that sumetimes he has felt that be would like to punch the bea-ls of persoun whom he has seen paying attention to anything but the_ sermons — his sermons, I think he said. Now, this reverend gentleman has a good fighting weight, and if he is at all handy with his flsti he should bo an awkward customer to fall foul of. ,# A readiness to punch, magisterially, an offender's bead ia not necessarily identical with a pugnacious deposition. Professor Blackie used to contend that he was amongst the meekest of men. "As a boy I was always antagonistic to school fighter pugilism had no fascination for me. I well remember a lad, over some small squabble, saying to me, 1 Will you fight me? 1 • No,' I replied, • but I will knock you down,' and immediately did it, amid great applause." It doe* not follow that if, on due occasion, a divine or a Greek profeesor hits straight out from the shoulder he is to be olassed gencrically as " a fighting man." OiviS.