Without Guile.

Otago Witness, Issue 2164, 15 August 1895, Page 49

Without Guile.

"There was quite a fight in front of our place today," said a business man at the supper table. " Two men got into a row, one struok the other, and then the crowd gathered. The man who was struck ran and grabbed au ugly* lookiog stick, and ruined back, his eyes blazing. I thought sure he'd knock the other man's brains out, and I stepped right in between them."

The young heir had given overeating his tart as the narrative proceeded, and his eyes leaned right out of his head. He was proud of his father's valour, and he cried :

"He couldn't knock any brains out of you, could he, father ? "

The father looked long and curiously at his son and heir, but the lad's countenance was frank, and. innocent), and open. When ib closed with the tart on the inside the father gasped slightly and resumed his supper.

Some " Newspaper Irish " Tarns.

(Contributed by " Buffalo Bill," Ry&l Bush.)

The following colloquy took place at an Irish rural post office :—: —

Pat : "I say, Miater Postmaster, is there ft litther for me. «• Who are you, my good sir ? "

" I'm meseif, that's who I am." " Well, what is your aame P " " An' what do ye want wid the name P Isn'fr it on the litther ? "

"So that I can find the letter if there is one." "Well, Pat Byrne, thin, if you must have it." " No, sir, there is none for Pat Byrne." ".la there no way to get in there but through this pane of glass ? "

" No, sir."

•• It's well for ye there isn't. I'd tache ye betther manners thin to insist on a gintleman's name. But ye didn't git it after all— so I'm even wid ye ; divil the bit is my name Byrne 1 "

After he had been in Glasgow some time an Irish foreman was asked :

" Well, Fat, how do you like Scotland P "

He replied : " Sure, an' it's a quare coun« three; the people are nothing but bajthen. They k?vpe the Queen's Birthday an' don't kape the Lord's birthday."

Yu ma make a whissel out of a pig's tail, but if yu da yall find yu're spilte a verry good tail, and got a wretched poor whiiael.

An Irishman once heard of a golden street in America, so he resolved to go. On reaching America, and when he was walking along the. wharf, he saw a dollar lying iv his way. He gave it a kick with his foot, and said : 11 Sure, an' I will wait till I get to Golden street, an' I pick up none but the yellow boys."