Chapter V. In a new light.

Otago Witness, Issue 2130, 20 December 1894, Page 4

Chapter V. In a new light.

I often went to the hospital at that time, and temporarily resumed my work there; for I always felt that sooner or later I should return to that which I felt to be my life work, and I did not wish to lose touoh of it. Oil these occasions the matron always made me welcome.

41 Oome to us whenover you have time and inclination," she said kindly—" fora few days or hr.urs, as suits you. We shall alwuya be pleased to see you. I know you will not like to givo up outirely your work here." Accordingly I spent many hours in my old place in the wards miaistering to the sick and dying, nursing some back to life aad health, and closing the eyes of others. These duties took me often into the accident ward, which alwajß presented special attraotioDS for me. The neceteity for rapid thought and action giving me aa impulse of life and energy which was distinctly exhilarating. A protracted illnaas may become — both to nuree and doctor— painfully interesting. But the rapid casas, where reliof almost immediately follows miniatration, have for me a greater charm. Oa one occasion, to my surprise, Dr Bertrand Ingram accompanied such a caso. He had boon driving down Princes street when the aocident happened, and had naturally put the patient Into his own c*niago and driven with him to the hospital, whe/e the houao surgeon had begged him to remain and assist in the examination.

It wa3 a child who, atandinsfoa tbea^ep of a tramcar, had been shaken off by oon cushion acd run ovor. It; was a bad c>.se. One leg was broken, the other seriously injured ; a wheel had passed over the cheat. Bat life woo nofc extiacf-, and the vitality of children is wonderful. An operation eeemed inevitable, and the house burgeon ordered everything to be prepared. Dr Bertrimci beat over tho patient. "I think we can save this kg," he said. 41 It need not be amputated."

Tbe surgeon ramoDstrated. But with a tisvr tkiU'ul touches the bone was set, and splints and bandageß applied, and almost before tie house surgeon had finished demons tratiog that an operation was ncoeseary, the whola thing was over, and the littlo patient tucked into his b?d. The mother came in as we ireie doing this, having bsard from some kind neighbours of the accident to her dariiDg. She had run a long way, and was panting and dishevelled. She would have thrown herself upon the little sufferer had she not been forcibly restrained.

" Ob, doctor, dear 1 and have you cut off bis purty l*gs ? " she cried as ehe saw his bandaged limbs. " And will he have to go on sticks all his life ? Oh, it's meself would raytber eeo him in his coffin ! " "No one has touchod his lsgs ; they'll soon be oil right — tbat i», if you don't disturb the baDdegw, or bring on a fever by talking to or exciting him," said the doctor, kindly though sternly. But tho impulsive creature caught hia hand and showered upon him a rain of incoherent thanks and bleeaings, from which it appeared that tha two ideas of the hospital andamputation were inseparably connected in her mind and that sho had expected to find her child dismembered. 4l And sure I'd raj ther see him in big coffin," she reiterated : The doctor shook his head and looked at me. Until this moment I had thought that he did not recognise me, for be waa probably not aware that I still kept up my connection with the hospital since I had never alluded to ifc in his presence, neither had he said anything to me on the subject. Now ha took it •ompletely for granted and remarked : 14 You see what it is to have a bad name. My anatomical proclivities appear to be pretty widely known I " Then, bending over the little patient, he arranged the clothes with great tenderness bo tbat they should not press upon the injured limb, and having dismissed the mother with the promise that she should see her obild on the morrow, he himself departed,

Daring this scene May Burton had been present ; she had arranged the sponges, &c, on the operating table and had handed the splints £lnd bandages. Now she said, in a curiously constrained manner : 41 Was that Dr Bertrand Ingram ? " 44 Of course It was } I thought you knew him."

44 1 did nofc recognise him in his new role of humanitarian."

"I think It euits him well; but I have never seen him in any other." 44 18 it possible 1 But no, you cannot deceive mo in this way. I remember poor Alice Martin— he treated her very differently. What has wrought this change 1 Is it yon, Rhoda ? " 41 1, indeed 1 Certainly not;. How could I exercise any influence on such a man as Dr Ingram? It is more likely that you and others have misjudged him on previous occasions." She shook her head and went about her work silently. There was a distinctly warm feeling about my heart, and I was glad to think that the young doctor had to some extent vindicated himself from the charges brought against him. I returned home aa one who trod on air, but neither at dinner nor during the evening did Dr Bertrand refer to our meeting in the hospital { only when I said good night, as wa3 my custom afc 10 o'clock, when the old doctor retired to smoke and read in his own room, be detained mo for a moment, and Bald With cjnical emphasis \ .. Hitorx sac t am aot <isiW as bad a$ jrou

thought. I oan set an Injured limb without wanting to put my knife into it ; but don't think too well of me. In plain English, I did not see that BOience would have been benefited by cutting that child's leg off, or I should have done it." 44 I don't think you would." " What right have you to think on the subjeot at all '/ I know that you sit in judgment on me and on others. You have no right to do so." 1 was astonished by the violence of this attack, and tried to defend myself ; but in vain ; he would lißten to no explanation. " You know nothing about it," he continued, lashing himself to anger with his own words. " What should you know of the realities of life, a child like yoa, who has only seen Ufa on the surface, who has never been tempted or tried by any real trouble 1 What right have you to sit in the seat of the scorner l "

"Ifc is true," I said humbly. "I know very little, but I wish to think well of my friendg." " Do you call me a friend ? " " Wtsy not 1 " Ha stood between ma and tho door. I oould not leava him without actual rudeness. The old doctor had gone upstairs ; I hoard his Gittiug-roora door ahub, I wished to follow him, but ooald cot. " Give me my candle, please." 41 Why are you in such a harry 1 Yoa need not be afraid of me."

" I am not afraid," and I returned to the fire, whioh still burned merrily, for the evening waa cold.

" Thafc'a a \ia ] "

"Drßortrandl" Tho te»rs spraDgto my eye», and I turned my head wide that he might not see them. 44 Yes," be 'cautioned, " I say yon are afraid of me. I don't cay but that you are light, for who knows when the homicidal mania will seize on me, and I ehall sacrifice you to a malignant heredity."

'■ You will never do that," I said, steadily looking up at him, though my eyes wero full ot tciirs. " You could not hurt ma i£ you would, you would nofc if you could." 44 How do you know that 1 " "I do know ifc. That is enough for me."

41 By Juve! I believe you aie right-," he said. 41 If there is aay saving power io faith you should possess ifc. I could nofc hart you, and yet — I have done alt of which they accuse me, and more." He looked keenly at me, aa if expecting mo to shriek from him or make some sign of disgust ordiutrust; but I did neither, for I felt tha crucial nature ef the te*t, and all at once a great wave of love and pity came into my he^rt for the suffering of thi« poor ternpefet-tossed soul, and I felt nothing but a greafc desire to help it if I could ouly do ao. He watched me with keen suspicion. Hed I wavered then my infiaonce, had I possessed any, would have been lott for ever.

41 The vrorsfc sins may be repented of and forgiven," I paid sU-adlly. " But I think you do yanrself an irjjnutice. It is you who judge yourself too harshly, not I." 44 That is impossible. When you first came here you diipised me for my ingratitude to Dr Ingram. Don't deny it 1 I caw it in your eyes. Wnafc should you say if I told you that my ingratitude had gone so far as to pebeme and plan for that old man's death 1 "

"I should not believe it," I anaworcd boldly. 44 Yet it is true." "No I a thousand times no 1 If ifc were true yon would have done it and not have told me. Many evil thoughts spring up in our hearts, but if we refuse to entertain them and drive tbem thence, It la we who are tha conquerors, and not they. You told me just now that I bad never been tempted. It may be true ; but this I know, that ifc is they who bave been tempted asd tried in fcbo fire, and who have r«suted and bave not suffered theragelvoa to be overcome, who are tho true victors, over whom tho angels of God rejoice with a joy unspeakable." " If my father had fcanghfc me that "

41 He could nofc. Ifc matters nofc what we are taught ; we can only receive that; which we are able to receive. We cannot accept Borne things for a long time, and then all at onca they become quite easy. Some olmnge is needed in our hearts or in cur environment, and all at onca the dark thiDga become plain." 41 Child, how do you know all this ? " 41 Perhaps I learned ifc in a previous Incarnation. If ifc is tru=>, what matters for the rest — the how and why? " Hs hesitated for a moment, then he sai<3: " Little friend, here ia your candle. I shall sleep the belter to-night for what you have told me."

It was now my turn to hesitate. I took the candle. As I did so our fingers met.

A thrill like that of an electric shock passed through me. I trembled from head to foot ; my sight wavered and grew dim ; tbe hand which held the candle trembled so that I could scarcely hold ifc. Dr Bertrand took DossesKion o£ It again. 41 What is the matter with you to-nigbt 1 You are nervous," he said decidedly. "Perhaps I am. I believe lam a little tired." " Very well ; go to bed, and sleep souudly and without dreaming. Do you hear 1 " " I hear. I shall try to obey." 41 Rhoda I do you ever praj i "

11 Sometimes."

41 Not always 7" 11 No ; thero arc time 3 when I cannot — when heaven seems too far, and I cannot reach it." "Oan you pray to-fliglifc?" 44 1 think so." "Pray, then, as you bave never prayed before." "What for?" " For all the tortured souls of men who know the right and do the wrong."

And without another word he went away, and I heard the surgery door close behind him.