HOW TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND.

Otago Witness, Issue 2008, 18 August 1892, Page 43

HOW TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND.

As soon as a girl leaves off pinafores and puts on long frocks she begin 3 to form some idea in her mind respecting the man she hopes to marry. For marriage is the natural expectation of every girl, and although some arc destined to be old maids, kind providence does not reveal their fate to them beforehand, so there is nothing to hinder any girl from using her powers of discrimination concerning the man she should choose for a husband. Whether she gets him or not is quite another thing.

It is a strange thing that the ideal husband of almost every girl is tall and dark. Ask all the girls you know who are Dot engaged and see what they say. You will find that very few will tell you they hope their future spouse will be fair. Short men will be out of the running entirely, and as for -.tout, red haired, and bald men— ugh 1 every girl will say she would rather die than marry any one of them. Aud yet all these men tind wives, and apparently with very little difficulty.

Now, why should women prefer dark men to tair ? You cannot tel), and if you ask them they will oLly say, " Because we do." Perhaps it is because courage and strength — two characteristics which women greatly admire— are gee er ally attributed to dark men, whereas fairness in their minds is usually associated with weakness and goodties?, and, notwithstanding the angelic attributes of women, they one and all have a sneaking regard for Mephhtopheles. It is only lately that in books authors have dared to make their heroes fair, and then they require to be thoroughly bronzed by the sun or tanned by foreign travel before feminine readers have any sympathy with them. But * tall, dark, masterful man, even though he be ugly like Charlotte Bronte'a Rochester, wins women's hearts at orice.

But in choosing a husband his complexion and colouring should not be taken into consideration at all, f«,r like " tho flowers that bloom in the spring " they have notbing to lo with the case. The main point is character, and a knowledge of this is only obtained by very close observation. And here comes in a serious difficulty, for if in choosing a husband love should blind the eyes of a maiden, there is no longer any hope for her, and it is just a matter of chance whether her choice is lucky or not. Therefore these hints on the choice of a husband are only useful in the preliminary stage of intercourse, and not at that maddening period when one is apt to regard the " world well lost for love," no matter whether the object is worthy or not. Some girla regard each man they meet as a possible husban J, and as soon as they are introduced begin mentally coupling their name with his just to see how it will aound. But before going bo far as this it would be well if they paused a while and first considered whether each man who shows an interest in them has tbe qaalilioa. tions which would make bias a good husband. Hasty marriages too often prove failures, and although there U some truth in the say. Ing that you never know a persoo till yon have lived with him, etlll by close obwrvati<?R yoa 9w tell wisQtbw 9 mm fc litely to

make a good or bad husband. Well, then, in making your choice be careful not to fix on that species of mankind known as a " lady's man," for this typo belongs to the butterfly species, and is too vain, vacillating, and empty-headed to stand the wear and tear of domestic life. A man who has " roughed it " a bit makes a far better husband than those feather-brained individuals who are content to flutter round drawing rooms and flirt with every girl they meet. The nicest women are those who are favourites with their own sex, and this truth holds good of men also ; but a'• lady's man "i 8 just as obnoxious as a girl who scorns her own sex and cares only for the society of men. A " man's man " will prove a far better husband than a lady's man ; therefore in your choice don't grudge a man either his tobacco or hia male friends. Cuarlotte Bronte says that men who are kind to animals are sure to make good husbands ; bo if the man you have set your heart upon, kicks the dog, flings the cat oeer the wall, and beats his horse unmercifully, the best thing you C3n do is to transfer your affections before it is too late. And if it should by any chance Jhappen that you i-hould develop tender feelings in your breast fora rod-haired man.be sure and observe his forehead ere you give him a chance to propose, for if thereon you can discover firmly printed perpendicular lines you may be quite sure that he has a hasty temper, and that if you many him you will certainly lead a cat-and-dog lite. A forehead 3uch as this is always suspicious, unless belonging to a person of a philosophic, quiet disposition, and then it merely denotes a studious character. And if you can possibly avoid it don't fall in love with either a sickly man, a man cursed with nerves, or a man vvho considers himself a genius, for none of these are capable of making any woman happy for long.

All men are selfidh, though some are worse than others ; but if you shou'd be fortunate enough to discover one unselfish man, appropriate him as soon as possible, for he is indeed a rara avis. Avoid the man who only studies his own comfort, who, regardless of others, always seats himself in the moct comfortable chair in the room, who ncvor gives up his seat in a crowded car no matter how many ladies may be standing, who confiscates tho morning paper, who monopolises the hearthrug on a cold morning, who helps himself to the juiciest morsel of the joint and never notice 3 when his neighbour's plate is empty, who gives nothing away but takes all he can get, and who will never do anyone a good turn or offer a gratuitous kindness for fear of being imposed upon. Such a man as this speedily develops into a domestic tj rant, no matter how fond a lover he may seem during the period of courtship.

It is very desirable that the man whom you choose for a husband should have a fad of some kind, for a fad serves as a sort of safety valve for his superfluous energy and keeps him from being irritable and fidgety. It is better that he should spoil the furniture than his wife's temper; and a hobby, however obnoxious, is better than the employment that Satan finds for idle hands. One thing more, and then if you do not make a wise choice it will be your own fault. Don't marry a man who scoffs at religion or a mealy-mouthed hyprocite ; and finally, if after all you find you have made an unwise choice be sure you don't let anyone know it.